EPISODE 11

 

Shadows Past, Shadows Present

 

 

Everything You Want
Vertical Horizon

 

 

Somewhere there's speaking

It's already coming in

Oh and it's rising at the back of your mind

You never could get it

Unless you were fed it

Now you're here and you don't know why

But under skinned knees and the skid marks

Past the places where you used to learn

You howl and listen

Listen and wait for the

Echoes of angels who won't return

Chorus

He's everything you want

He's everything you need

He's everything inside of you

That you wish you could be

He says all the right things

At exactly the right time

But he means nothing to you

And you don't know why

You're waiting for someone

To put you together

You're waiting for someone to push you away

There's always another wound to discover

There's always something more you wish he'd say

Chorus

But you'll just sit tight

And watch it unwind

It's only what you're asking for

And you'll be just fine

With all of your time

It's only what you're waiting for

Out of the island

Into the highway

Past the places where you might have turned

You never did notice

But you still hide away

The anger of angels who won't return

Chorus

I am everything you want

I am everything you need

I am everything inside of you

That you wish you could be

I say all the right things

At exactly the right time

But I mean nothing to you and I don't know why

And I don't know why

Why

I don't know

 

 

 

Ashlen stared out at the manicured panorama that filled the view from the window.  It was neat and welcoming, giving no hint as to the chaos and mistrust that ran rampant through the building it landscaped.  To say the Earth Alliance was in a state of transition was an understatement.  While Ashlen agreed with the need for NightWatch and the Ministry of Peace, she did not agree with how their placement was carried out.  Everything had happened too quickly, too randomly as if the instigators were terrified of losing hold before they had gained it.  Which was exactly what would happen in the end.

The Psi Cop allowed a smile.  She meant to become a part of it all before Rome came crashing down around their heads.  She would secure a place for herself in the darkness and make certain that spot remained long after the dust settled and the true visionaries were left standing.

It was shortly after she had arrived at Babylon 5 and began her undercover work that Ashlen saw the opportunity that lay before her.  The knowledge of the abilities that the Minbari Terann possessed was a valuable commodity; only those stationed on Babylon 5 were too ignorant to see it.  Ashlen knew that Bester would understand the significance but he would not know what to do with it.  His loyalty to all things Psi Corps blinded him to true power and control.  But she would not allow herself to fall under the same trap.  Too many telepaths in Psi Corps climbed their way up the ladder so far and then remained stagnant until death.  The same would not be said of her.  The true power lay outside of Psi Corps; it lay not in the governing of teeps, but in the control of mundanes. 

So before Ashlen returned to Bester with her report, she made attempts at contacting someone within the fabled Bureau 13.  She had never truly believed such an organization existed, attributing the rumors to the fanciful wishes of unmotivated yet power hungry individuals.  Yet shortly after Ashlen's inquiries, associates of the Bureau contacted her.  They had sought her out on Mars and it had all been very dramatic and mysterious... and completely ridiculous in her opinion.  She had casually asked if twentieth century paranoia still pervaded so heavily within government circles.  Her jest had not been well received.  Not that it mattered to her.  She knew the men she was meeting with were simple couriers, with no real importance or stature.  She would quickly rise above them and then they would laugh when she told them to.

Truthfully, Ashlen had been surprised at how quickly and efficiently they had set up the meeting between her and President Clark, the current motivator behind Bureau 13.  Though not as surprised as she had been to learn that President Clark apparently had more brains then she had expected from a mundane.  Well, not brains precisely; she could still admit that he was lacking in true intelligence, but he made up for it in vision and desire.  He knew the scope of the power he wanted to attain; he just made the wrong decisions in how to go about it.  Ashlen hoped to change all that once she secured a place for herself with the organization.  She would make certain he understood what a valuable asset her loyalty was.

Their first meeting had been brief.  She had been advised to tell him why she requested the meeting, give him a report of her findings and then was asked to wait for further instruction in a room provided to her by the Bureau.  The door of course had been locked and she heard from no one for two days.  Until this morning.

Now she stood within an enormous and very secret conference chamber.  Even though it was located within EarthGov's main building, it could only be entered through secret chambers and passages through a confusing maze of rooms.  From what Ashlen could tell, it was located not far from the President's main office.  Perhaps there was a hidden door that he could take to get to it so that his staff never saw him leave his office.  The Psi Cop felt it was much too spy-like and betrayed an underlying shame that the Bureau even existed.  If she were in charge, she would not hide it so completely, not move within the dead of night, behind closed doors, feeling all the while that she was somehow doing something wrong, something that the people would not approve of.  She loved Earth and truly believed that Humans were the strongest and most intelligent of the races in the galaxy.  Obviously, telepaths far outranked the mundanes and therefore should be in charge, directing their fellow Humans in how to live and work and behave so that Earth could attain the hegemony she so rightfully deserved.  But the mundanes continued to drag their world down, allowing aliens to guide them in their affairs, instruct them in how the universe should work.  This should never have been allowed to happen.  After Earth had succeeded in wiping out the Dilgar, they should have continued in their domination, beginning with the weaker races such as the Drazi, Narn and Brakiri.  Ashlen did not necessarily hate aliens; she really had no feelings for them either way.  She just felt they had been allowed to have too much influence on the people of Earth and that was something that needed to be eradicated before it became ingrained too deeply.

Ashlen turned from the view before her, tugging at her leather gloves.  It felt good to be wearing them once again; she had felt naked without them on Babylon 5.  The strain of not scanning those who she was forced to touch had been mind numbing.  She found herself hoping that when she met with Bester he would tell her the undercover work was no longer necessary.  She hated keeping her identity a secret.  She was proud to be a Psi Cop, prouder still to be a telepath.  And she would give anything to see the look on Aelora Campbell's face when she told her she was there to take her back to Psi Corps headquarters.  The redhead had become a permanent thorn in Ashlen's side.  The longer she spent trying to corner her, the longer it would take her to attain her true goals.  She had been ready to make her move when Aelora had run off to Minbar with the Minbari telepath.  After that, Bester had sent her on a short assignment to Mars to locate a blip who had been spotted there.  The mission had gone quickly and without any snags, leaving Ashlen time to pursue her inquiries into Bureau 13.

Ashlen stood straighter as the door opened and President Clark entered.  She forced a smile at his greeting, wondering to herself why every politician had beady eyes and heads that seemed too big for their bodies.  She moved to take a position from him across the table, saying nothing, allowing him to feel in control.  His emotions were high, his excitement and eagerness almost palpable.  Ashlen knew her victory was within reach.

"Well Ms. Ladan, I found your report to be very, ah, enlightening."  Clark smiled as if he had made a great joke.  "If what you say here is true, I believe some further inquiry needs to be made."

"Do you think I could make something like this up?"  Ashlen asked him, careful to keep her tone even.  "I was as surprised as you but then I was able to see the results of the information I found after hacking into the security files a few weeks ago first hand.  It only goes to prove that the older races out there are allowed far too much interference.  Who knows what they may have done to Humans!"

Clark nodded his agreement.  "And you are certain that this Minbari was a genetic construct of the Vorlons?  Not just altered?"

"Her medical records are right there in that report.  The station's head medical officer filed them.  She is a pure hybrid -- Minbari and Vorlon.  From what I have witnessed, she is virtually unstoppable."

The President licked his lips, betraying his glee at her words.  "Is there any chance that she -"

"No."  Ashlen cut him off, knowing that he was about to ask if she would voluntarily become loyal to EarthGov.  "She is completely Minbari, Warrior Caste.  She would not even consider granting us the slightest bit of leeway.  No, Mr. President, if you want any information from her regarding her construction, you will simply have to take it."

Clark nodded, as if this was what he had expected.  "Ms. Ladan, can you guarantee me delivery of this Minbari?"

"Guarantee?"  Ashlen cocked an eyebrow, leaning back in her chair.  "It will not be easy, as well as being exceedingly dangerous.  I have seen what Terann is capable of.  It will involve a bit of cleverness and deception on my part.  I am not certain I wish to take that kind of chance.  Why make her my enemy when she could be such a valuable ally?"

            "You will be well compensated," Clark told her.  "We have already decided that you would be a estimable asset to the Bureau and would like to extend an offer to you to become a part of our little organization.  If you deliver the Minbari telepath, I assure you, you will not regret your actions."

Ashlen allowed a hint of a smile but was not ready to capitulate yet.  "I will need high level security access, transportation ready at my command as well as plenty of money in case anyone I encounter needs further persuasion.  I also want a direct line to you where I will be able to reach you at any moment - "

"That is highly unusual!"  Clark protested.

"So is this mission," Ashlen replied smoothly.  "Terann is not the only obstacle that I am facing.  She is a friend of a Human telepath who, I have been told, is possibly very strong telepathically in her own right.  Though I have not seen any proof that she is as powerful as the Minbari, I do not wish to take any chances."

"This other telepath, is she someone we might be interested in?"

Ashlen shook her head.  "She is for Psi Corps.  You can't touch her.  If I deter from my original mission on Babylon 5, Bester will become too suspicious.  He wants Aelora Campbell and he means to get her.  Besides, in my estimation, the Minbari is worth more.  All of Aelora's psi abilities have been conjecture and supposition.  I have yet to see any of it in practice which leads me to believe she is not as powerful as some believe."

"But you still see her as a threat," Clark reminded her.

"I'd be a fool not to.  She has many contacts among the alien governments, including the Minbari.  She was raised in the Centauri court and trained on Minbar as a Ranger -"

Clark's eyes narrowed.  "She is loyal to Sheridan?"

"I don't believe so.  They have had a few visible altercations and when last I was there he ordered the Minbari away from the station and Aelora went with her."

The President appeared to relax at this information.

Ashlen realized the man before her was easily mollified.  All one had to do was tell him what he wanted to hear to make him happy.  She made a mental note of that realization in the back of her mind for use in the future.  She spent the next half hour chatting with him about nothing of true importance, giving him time to feel at ease around her, to trust her while she took the opportunity to learn everything she could about the man who led EarthGov.  Every now and then she would probe his thoughts, just to gauge what he was thinking at that moment, to test his reactions to what she said and to learn his thought processes.  She quickly formed the opinion that he had only obtained his level of importance by using the most simplistic underhanded techniques available, such as the murder of his predecessor.  Though Ashlen would not begrudge him his ability to obtain his desires, neither would she give him marks for creativity and genius.   

            By the time Ashlen left EarthGov Headquarters, she had reached each goal that she had set for herself.  This included unlimited security access within Bureau 13, a squadron of ships ready to depart at her command and a personal comm channel to the President whenever she saw fit to reach him.  She was also granted two private residences, one located in Geneva, the other on Syria Plainum that was to remain her hideaway in case of trouble.  It was promised to be remote and secure which was all that truly mattered to Ashlen.  Into her bank account Clark had deposited over one hundred thousand credits to cover any unexpected emergencies. In her hand she tightly clenched a data crystal on which was what President Clark promised her to be all of the information she needed to know regarding Bureau 13 and its associates.  Ashlen found herself feeling heady and light-headed in her excitement.  Now when she met with Bester she would finally be in the position to know more than him, and she could not wait until the moment when she could tell him just that.  When she could laugh in his face and let him know that she had played him for the fool he was all along.   

 

 

 

 

Wrapping herself in her simple black tunic, Terann turned to once again regard herself in the mirror.  It was not so much her reflection that she studied; more herself reflected in the universe itself.  Today, as everyday since the end of the war, she wondered about her place, where she belonged, or more accurately where she did not belong.  Glancing around her quarters, she accepted that once again she would have to move on.  With the Vorlons gone and no stable means of income it was only a matter of time before she was forced from them.  And then where would she go? 

She had considered, if only briefly, remaining on Babylon 5, securing smaller quarters and attempting to make a life for herself here.  But the idea quickly faded.  In truth she knew she had no true ties to the Earther's station, was not wanted there by many in the command staff and certainly had no purpose there.  Returning to Minbar was not an option, as she knew neither Shakiri nor Neroon would ever leave her in peace.  Rejected by the Minbari and abandoned by the Vorlons, Terann began to feel desperation and isolation unlike any she had ever endure before. 

Believing it unwise to dwell on things far beyond her control, Terann straightened her tunic then assuming an expression of indifference, she quickly moved from her quarters.

It still continued to amaze her how quickly her worries fled whenever she was immersed in the bustle of life aboard Babylon 5.  Alone in her quarters, with no one around, the silence that permeated her both physically and mentally only served as a reminder of all that had been taken from her.  Never in her dreams had she ever imagined the depth of her connection to the Vorlons.  Even as a child, long before she knew of her heritage, she realized they had always been there, subtly guiding her, their songs intermingling with her own thoughts in the most natural of ways.  But now the silence was unbearable and she found herself opening her mind to those around her, if only to allow the sounds of their thoughts to calm her own. 

Bypassing many of the faster, less obstructed corridors, Terann decided to keep to the busier parts of the station on her way to MedLab.  In places like the Zocalo it was far easier for her to blend in and go unnoticed, which was exactly what she sought.  She took her time, moving at a leisurely pace, knowing to do otherwise would only serve to draw attention to herself. 

Entering into the MedLab facility she quickly scanned the immediate area, seeking out Doctor Franklin, hoping to receive an update on Aelora's current condition, hoping with all her heart that a miracle had befallen the injured human. Finding him pensively staring at the computer readouts concerning an obviously ill Brakiri, she opted not to disturb him.  Moments later, standing just within the doorway of the IsoLab, Terann felt all her pain and anger over Aelora's mistreatment return. 

With the Sleepers now completely out of her system, the cuts and bruises that had marred her body had quickly faded.  She had even regained some of her lost weight and hair had started to grow on her horribly battered head.  All these things reassured Terann that physically Aelora would recover fully.  Mentally, however, she was not so certain. 

For the most part Aelora slipped in and out of consciousness in silence, one minute appearing to be resting peacefully, the next her eyes flying open, darting back and forth in horror at the images only she could see.  At times she would cry out loudly, while others she would emit an almost inaudible gurgling.

Tentatively, Terann lowered the blocks in her mind, gently probing into the depths of Aelora's thoughts.  She did not wish to go too far, for fear of becoming consumed by the madness that raged within her friend.  What she found -- or rather did not find -- frightened her.  With the Sleepers no longer suppressing her abilities, Aelora's mind should have reacted to the intrusion.  Even in unconsciousness a telepathic mind has natural, inborn reflexes that shield it, though crudely, against external threats.  Without them a telepath would be unable to sleep and could even be driven into insanity.  The absence of these reflexes disturbed Terann, urging her to push harder, using her Vorlon gifts in an attempt to anger the parts of the Human touched by the Shadows.  Receiving no response, concern gave rise to panic, and Terann quickly turned seeking out Doctor Franklin once again. 

Having finished with his treatment of the Brakiri, Doctor Stephen Franklin spotted the Minbari telepath and had already begun moving towards her when she turned, her upset apparent. 

"Terann, is...?"

"Have you checked her abilities, Doctor?" Terann interrupted, her voice betraying her emotions.

The Human shook his head.  "Our tests are very limited and require that she be conscious.  When she is conscious she is in no state to be administered the tests.  I haven't, however, detected any damage to the parts of her brain that control telepathic ability.  Is there something that you have noticed?"

Terann moved her eyes away from him, momentarily gazing at her injured friend.  "It might not be anything, I simply believed that once the Sleepers were out of her system her abilities would resurface."

"And you haven't felt anything from her?"

"Not exactly," Terann answered, trying to find the words she sought.  "I can feel her emotions and her pain.  I know when she is dreaming or having a nightmare.  I simply do not get a response from her.  When I enter her thoughts she does not fight me, it is almost as if her mind, even her subconscious mind is unaware of my attempts."

"This could all be a natural response to the trauma of her ordeal," Stephen offered, trying to mollify her.

But Terann would not accept his suggestion.  "I do not believe this is the case.  Given that the Shadows modified her and I am half Vorlon, her mind should scream out at even the slightest touch."

"Perhaps this is just her mind's way of dealing with the emotions she has to deal with, both her own and those of everyone else around her.  She has been through a lot, more than most of us could possibly tolerate.  Given time I honestly believe her abilities will re-emerge."  Knowing he had not completely convinced the Minbari, he laid a gentle hand on her arm.  "I will however run additional tests, just to double check everything."

Terann smiled at the Human doctor, then moved to her friend's bedside, taking a limp hand in her own.  Stephen continued to watch the Minbari even as he charted the Human female's progress, noting the distance in her eyes, the subtle changes a body shows in times of mental and physical stress.  Completing his check of the Human he moved slowly back to the doorway, hesitating at the last moment.  "Terann, are you feeling alright?"

"I am fine Doctor," her tone was one that said she did not wish to discuss the matter further, her eyes never leaving her friend's motionless form.

"Would you mind if I ran some tests?" He asked, quickly explaining when she met him with a stony glare.  "You have been through a lot lately, and -- "

"It has been over two standard weeks since the end of the Shadow War, I have done nothing that would warrant a medical examination."

"It won't take long, I promise." 

When the Human continued to watch her hopefully, she finally acquiesced.  Moments later he had her seated on an examination table in one of the exam rooms at the back of the MedLab facility.  Scanning her with some sort of instrument the Minbari could not identify he began asking her questions.

"Have you been eating and sleeping well?"

"Yes Doctor," she sighed in response.

He cast the telepath a doubtful glance, before turning back to a nearby computer console.   "You have lost weight... and your blood count levels are off."  At Terann's continued reticence he turned back to her.  "And your abilities?  Have you noticed any changes since the battle with the Shadows and the Vorlons?"

"It is quiet, nothing more."

Stephan finally crossed his arms across his chest, realizing Terann would only continue to be stubborn.  "I see nothing here that cannot be remedied by a better diet and more sleep."  Having checked her physically, he moved to do so mentally.  "Have you given any thought as to what you will do now that the war is over?"

Hopping off the table, Terann replied, "I am still unsure.  I have no income, no one who cares for me and no where really to go."

"You could stay here," he offered.

"You and I both know I am not wanted here." She smiled.  "Ironic, is it not?  The sole heir to the Vorlon Empire being left homeless and destitute."

He returned her smile, and then watched her as she moved to leave, stopping her just short of the doorway.  "Terann," he asked timidly when she was once again facing him, already certain of how she would react to what he were about to propose.  "I was wondering... what I mean is... do you know anything about your construction... how the Vorlons did it?"

"Why do you ask, Doctor?" Terann frowned, her eyes narrowing.

He motioned her over to the computer screen, calling up what little he had of her medical information, pulling out anything that pertained to her genetic makeup.  "What the Vorlons did is, quite frankly, impossible.  Minbari and Vorlon DNA are so entirely different, I am just curious how they managed to create a true hybrid."

"When one is among Vorlons, one learns quickly not to ask questions," Terann told him, pulling away from the screen.

"But surely you must know something."

"Yes Doctor, there are things that I know," came the reply.

"But you won't share them?"

"No," she said plainly.

"But..."

"Why is it you wish to know?" She asked pointedly, once again wondering why no one could ever be straight with her.

Stephen sighed inaudibly, knowing one poorly chosen word would instantly end the conversation.  "Understand Terann, that, like I said, the Vorlons did something that other races have tried to do with little success.  The intermingling of different species is difficult, even when you are dealing with two similar races, but when those races are completely different it seems impossible.  The Vorlons managed to do this, somehow, in creating you.  That knowledge could be used to save countless lives."

"In what way?"  She inquired skeptically.

"Take for instance organ donation, or blood transfusions.  Right now we are limited in the things we do and how we do them.  If a Human needs a heart we must give him a Human heart.  But what if we could change that?  Somehow alter a Drazi heart so that it could be used for a Human, or alter Centauri blood so it could be used in a Minbari."

Terann shook her head.  "I am sorry, what you are asking goes far beyond my understanding of my creation.  The Vorlons never told me how or why they created me.  What I know goes little beyond that which I managed to glean from my mother."

"We would only use what you do know as a starting point, we could run tests, perhaps use a sample of your blood, maybe some tissue..."

Her ire sparked, Terann snapped, "I have been a lab experiment my entire life, Doctor..."

"It wouldn't be like that Terann," he reassured her. 

"And what guarantees have I that this information will not be misused?"

"Any personal information would be kept completely confidential, only I and a few others would have access to it."

"My trust in your ability to keep anything confidential is non-existent, Doctor.  A crewmember from the Ingata managed to... I believe the term is 'hack', into your computer system.  Let us just say the leader of my Caste found the information quite interesting." 

When the Minbari spun on her heel and stalked towards the doorway, he begged of her one last time.  "Terann, think of all the good that could come of this, the lives that could be saved.  And who knows, perhaps we will answer your questions as well.  About your existence... find the truth..."

"The truth, Doctor?"  She demanded heatedly, closing the distance between them quickly.  "The truth is: A being, such as myself, should never have been allowed to exist.  Beyond that there is nothing."

Not wishing to argue further with the Human, she spun around and raced from the medical facility, fighting against the tears that had been present since the Vorlons had gone beyond the Rim.  In her mind she cursed them, telling herself over and over that she hated them, trying desperately to convince herself that she truly did.  Sadly, she realized she could not, would never be able to.  No matter the pain or anguish they caused her, she would never have truly turned her back on them.  Even at Corianus, after all the death at their hands, she had still tried to reach out to them, to reason with them, to make them understand, to prove to them that she was a part of them no matter how they pushed her away. She longed to be with them, to have a place where she knew she would be accepted, not rejected, for what she was, where she knew she was a part of something beyond imagination. 

Mentally she shook her head, knowing such thoughts were senseless.  The Vorlons were gone and would never return.  They had left her, discarding her when they should have embraced her, leaving her abandoned and alone with no where and no one to turn to.  The all too familiar feelings of isolation and rejection settled over her again, leaving her feeling cold and lifeless, as she headed back into the heart of the station.

It was near noon and she knew that there was a Narn transport due to arrive at the station.  With the occupation over, many Narns, who had sought refuge on Babylon 5, were now returning home while others were using the opportunity to leave the barren wastelands of their Homeworld.  Terann shuddered as she recalled all that she had seen and felt on Narn, how desolate and lifeless it had seemed.  She only prayed that now with Centauri gone, both worlds would have an opportunity to heal and return to their rightful places in the galaxy. 

And so it was that every third day a ship carrying Narns would arrive at Babylon 5, and it was on these days that Terann would venture to the embarkation area in the hopes that G'Kar would return.  She had gotten word shortly after the end of the war that G'Kar had in fact been spared execution and yet he had not returned to the Earther's station.  At first she believed he had decided to stay on Narn, to help his world rebuild and nurse its wounds.  But this was not like G'Kar.  Though she did not know him well, she knew he was not one to abandon his responsibilities and was certain that he would return as soon as possible.

Terann took the same seat she had occupied the other times she had waited here, once again formulating in her mind all that she wished to say to him.  Her first desire was to apologize and beg for his forgiveness.  Though at the time she knew it would have been impossible to rescue both Aelora and G'Kar, it did not easy the feelings of guilt and regret within her.  She was only thankful that he had survived his ordeal, allowing her the opportunity to make it up to him.  Her thoughts then turned to Aelora, as she wondered how to tell him all that her friend had been forced to endure.  How would he react? She wondered.  Would he blame himself?  Or would he lay the blame with those who truly deserved it?  Though she hoped it was the latter she knew in her heart that he would blame himself and would most likely always do so.  Like so many others, he had not had enough trust in her, could not believe in her and, sadly, she had been the one who ultimately paid the price for their mistake. 

Rising to her feet as the transport began disembarking and several Narns began filing into the customs area, Terann scanned the crowd looking for signs of the Ambassador.  As the throng dwindled down to a few stragglers, Terann began to give up hope, until finally her eyes caught sight of the Narn she sought.  Moving quickly over to him she called out his name, catching his attention.

"Terann," he said with a smile.  "How have you been?"

"I am fine.  It is good to see you back on the station."

"It is good to be back," he commented, looking around almost lovingly at his surroundings.  "It never ceases to amaze me how easily people latch on to something they believe gives them direction and purpose."

Falling into step beside G'Kar as they left the embarkation area Terann replied, "From what I have heard, they have reason to look to you for guidance.  You have done much for them, you should be proud."

G'Kar cast a sideways glance at the young telepath beside him, noting the almost imperceptible changes in her demeanor.  Had he not known her, they would have eluded him.  But as it were, he had seen her before she had left for Minbar, had seen her arrogance and pride, the way it had seemed she looked down upon those around her as being so much beneath her.  The woman beside him was not the same person.  She appeared beaten, as if every shred of dignity and pride had been ripped from her, that she had... lost her best friend. 

G'Kar came to an abrupt halt, causing Terann to do the same.  "You know then... you know what he did to Aelora."

He?  Terann started in confusion.  She had not been aware that G'Kar had known about Aelora's imprisonment on Narn, had meant to tell him herself when they arrived at his quarters.  "Then you know," Terann commented sadly.

            "Of course I know," he spat. "I was there when that monster displayed the severed heads of her adoptive parents. I saw her blood on his hands. I only wish I had been the one to kill Cartagia."

            "Cartagia?" Terann puzzled. "G'Kar, I do not understand?"

            "Cartagia killed Aelora!"  He shouted his voice reverberating around them, betraying his anguish.

            "G'Kar, no, Aelora is not dead."

            "What?" He interrupted her in disbelief, his eyes lighting up at the prospect that the one he had come to care for, the one he had believed had been lost to him forever, was truly alive. "Where is she? Is she on the station? I must see her!"

            "G'Kar wait!" Terann called out to him, racing after him as he hurried down the corridor in search of Aelora. "There is much you do not understand." When the Narn turned to face her once again, Terann took a deep breath aware that the moment she had dreaded was finally upon her. "Things have happened to Aelora.  Things were done to her… "

            "By who?" He demanded, taking a step towards her.

            "Cartagia… he gave her to a group of Narns," she explained.  "As a form of repayment for her betrayal of him. They were told that she alone was responsible for your capture and detainment on Centauri Prime. They believed she had tortured you."

            "What? Why would they believe such a thing?"

            "I am unsure. The cell's leader Na'Kar --- "

            "Na'Kar?" G'Kar voiced the name with great dread. He had heard rumors regarding Na'Kar and those who served under him. He was remarkably loyal, bordering on fanaticism, willing to take any risks if only to harm those who had harmed his people. G'Kar's eyes darkened as he began to picture in his mind all the horrid things Na'Kar and the others had done to Aelora. "What did they do to her?"

            "They were… brutal."

            "What did they do to her?!" He demanded his voice echoing around them.

            "G'Kar, understand," she said firmly. "They blamed her not only for the crimes they believed she had committed but also those of her entire family. They wanted her broken both mentally and physically and cared little how they achieved it. They were merciless in their attempts. Had it not been for the kindness of a Narn by the name of Ra'Nam I never would have gotten to her in time."

            G'Kar ran his hand across his smooth brow, trying to deal with his renewed sorrow, the idea that it had been one of his own who had harmed her only adding to his growing anger. "Then you were the one to rescue her? What of those who imprisoned her?"

            "I dealt with them," she told him plainly, her tone cautioning him against inquiring further. "She is in MedLab, if you wish to see her. But be warned she is not the same woman you knew. Neither mentally nor physically."

            "I love her, Terann," he said, voicing the words his heart had begged to for so very long.

            "I know, G'Kar. I just want you to be prepared for the state she is in."

            "Your concern is not necessary."

            "G'Kar," Terann called out to him as he hurried away from her.

            "I have heard enough, Terann. I will stand by her, no matter the cost and no matter the pain. I need to protect her and to help her overcome all the obstacles she must face."

            The Minbari frowned as she watch the Narn disappear down an adjoining corridor, wanting for a moment, to follow him, to prepare him for what he was about to face. She stopped herself short, however, deciding he truly desired to go alone while deep down knowing that was how it should be.

 

Trying desperately to calm his concern for Aelora, G'Kar hurried to the station's MedLab facility.  Though he tried to convince himself to be grateful that she was alive, the warnings given to him by the Minbari telepath still echoed through his mind.  Terann seemed genuinely disturbed regarding Aelora's condition, and this alone was enough to set off alarms in G'Kar's mind.  Entering the medical facility G’Kar quickly scanned the area, peering into IsoLabs and exam rooms frantically searching for Aelora. 

Noticing the Narn’s entrance, Doctor Franklin quickly turned to the doctor beside him, giving her instructions on how to care for the injured Centauri before them, before moving over to G’Kar.

“G’Kar,” he said drawing the Narn’s attention. 

“Doctor!  Terann told me Aelora was here… that she had been injured.”

Franklin took a deep breath.  He knew the Narn had feelings for the Human, had seen this clearly in the way he had lingered at her bedside during her last stay in MedLab, and it was this fact that made his next task difficult.  “How much did Terann tell you?” He asked finally.

“Very little.  Just that she had been detained on Narn and had sustained severe injuries.”

"G'Kar..."

"Look, I simply want to see her.  The fact that she is alive is all I need to see her through any trials she is forced to face."

The Human nodded, gesturing for G'Kar to follow.   They walked in silence to the back of the infirmary then finally to Aelora's doorway.  Franklin stepped aside allowing the Narn passage. 

When G'Kar's eyes fell upon the broken form before him, all relief he had felt earlier melted into dread and hopelessness.  He found himself unable to move, his fists clenching at his sides; the tears he had thought were exhausted springing forth once again.  Anger unlike any that he had thought possible raged through him, mounting in intensity the longer he stared at her.  He wanted nothing more than to seek out those who had hurt her, to tear the life from their bodies, to make them feel the fear and pain and desperation that Aelora most certainly had. 

"You can go to her," the doctor told him.  "She might respond better to you."

Hesitantly, G'Kar did as he suggested, moving to her bedside, timidly taking a pale hand in his.  As his eyes wandered the length of her, he found he could not fathom all that had been done to her.  What skin that was exposed was either heavily bruised or marred by deep cuts.  But what disturbed him the most was the burnt and torn skin of her scalp. 

"What... what happened to her?" G'Kar managed, not certain he wanted the answer.

Stephen moved to stand opposite the Narn, looking down sadly at the Human.  "From what I was told, and from what I have learned during her treatment, aside from numerous beatings, most of her hair had been torn out or burned off.  We believe they were attempting to make her appear more Centauri."  At this the doctor paused, catching the Narn's gaze with his own.  "Understand, G'Kar, they did anything they could to break her.  To them simply killing her was too easy."

"What are you saying, Doctor?"

Stephen pursed his lips before replying.  "They sexually assaulted her... repeatedly."

The Narn cursed violently in his own language, moving about the room in an attempt to control his anger and pain.  Had his people learned nothing?  Had all his work, all of his efforts simply been in vain?  Were they no truly no different than those whose tyranny they were forced to live under for so long?

Remembering Aelora, he forced his own anger aside, knowing it would do her little good.  "Will she be alright?"

The doctor nodded.  "Physically, yes.  Whatever modifications the Shadows made to her have increased her body's ability to heal itself.  With the Sleepers now completely out of her system, it should only be a matter of time before she is completely recovered.  Mentally, however..."

"She is strong," G'Kar comment.

"Yes G'Kar she is, but Terann scanned her, in an attempt to bring her around.  Now telepathic scans are sometimes hard to decipher, since everything is purely subjective.  But Terann believes that Aelora has somehow locked herself within her own mind... in an attempt to protect herself from her tormentors."

"But... there is still hope?" G'Kar asked in desperation.

"Of course," he reassured the Narn.  "A debate is raging within her.  She does not know whether to fight or whether to give up.  This is where you come in.  She will need our support, our understanding and patience.  We need to show her that she is safe and cared for."

A look of hope crossed over the Narn's face.  "I will do whatever it takes."

Stephen smiled.  "Good.  Now, perhaps you will give me a chance to look at your eye?"

"In a moment, Doctor."

The Human nodded then; laying a calming hand on the Narn's arm he left the IsoLab, giving him time alone with Aelora.

G'Kar stood silently for a moment, before returning to Aelora's side.  Moving a nearby chair over to her, he sat, taking her hand once again in his.  Gently he pressed it against his cheek, allowing the scent of her to envelop him.  Even beneath the cuts and bruises and the antiseptic smell of the medical facility he could still sense Aelora, could feel the fire that still burned within her.  How was it he had ever doubted her?  Even after her confession to him on Centauri Prime, when she had come to him, professing her love, insisting that all she had done had been out of this love, out of a need to keep him safe.  Silently he begged her to forgive him, tears flowing unbidden. 

"I love you, Aelora," he sobbed kissing her fingers tenderly. 

As his lips touched her skin her eyes flew open, darting back and forth, never once focusing on any one thing.  G'Kar straightened, his breath catching in his throat. 

"Aelora," he said softly, not wanting to startle her.  "Aelora, it is me... G'Kar.  Come back to me."

At his calming voice the Human settled, her body no longer trembling, her eyes staring upward at the ceiling.  G'Kar rose to his feet, gently caressing her cheek, trying to coax a response from her.  If only she would acknowledge him, see that he was there to keep her safe, maybe then she would be able to escape the confines of her mind.  Continuing to reach out to her, gently reassuring her that she was out of harm, he watched her closely, noting the glassy appearance of her eyes.  Where before they had been a dark, fiery green, full of life, they were now pale and lifeless, reflecting a soul that was only a shadow of the person she had once been.  His heart wrenched in his chest as he began to believe there was little hope of her ever escaping her nightmare.  For the faintest of moments he found himself doubting the wisdom behind Aelora's rescue.  With what he had been told of Aelora's treatment, were they being fair to her by forcing her to exist with the knowledge of all that had been done to her?  No!  G'Kar's mind and heart screamed in unison, berating him for even thinking such a thing.  Aelora would recover, of that he was certain, and if it took him a hundred years to see her put all the pain and suffering behind her then he was prepared to do so.  All that mattered was Aelora.

"How is she doing?" 

Never letting his touch leave her, he turned towards the doorway where Doctor Franklin now stood.  "She's awake..."

The Human moved to the injured woman's bedside, quickly checking the readings on the monitors.  Noticing the blank expression on the telepath's face, he shook his head imperceptibly.  "She's been doing this occasionally.  One minute her eyes will move back and forth madly, much like REM sleep movements, the next she will stare off at nothing.  It's just an autonomic response... nothing more."  He noted the disheartened expression that washed over the Narn.  "I'm sorry, G'Kar.  I know it is hard to see her like this...  Perhaps I could take a look at your eye, give you a break..."

"Thank you doctor, I will be fine," G'Kar replied not wanting to leave Aelora's side.  Regardless of what the doctor had told him, he firmly believed he had elicited some sort of response from Aelora.  It was, to him, as if she had somehow sensed him.  If this were in fact the case he did not wish to abandon her now.

"G'Kar, please," Stephen implored, his voice indicating he was not about to let the Narn ignore his own needs.  "It won't take long, and then you can return."

Reluctantly, G'Kar nodded.  For a moment, he shifted his gaze back to the motionless form before following.  I love you, Aelora, he thought.  No matter what the others say, I know you can feel me.  I promise I will not leave you... ever again.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Having arrived at Psi Corps headquarters late the previous night, Ashlen had had little time to reacquaint herself with 'Teeptown' opting instead to head directly to her residence.  Emerging early she took a deep cleansing breath.  It never ceased to astound her how quickly she relaxed when surrounded by other telepaths.  When surrounded by mundanes she seemed almost dirty, but with telepaths she felt comforted, as if this was truly where she belonged.  And why should it not?  She had been born and raised within the Corps, grew up in Cadre Prime, the best and brightest the Corps had to offer.  Even among other telepaths, laters, she was looked up to, often even hated.  Jealous, she concluded, believing there could be no other reason.  Most telepaths manifested at puberty, some even later.  Only five percent manifest before then, and those that did were truly the heart and soul of the Corps.  It only made sense.  Those born and raised as mundanes could never truly understand the beauty and importance of being a telepath.  Of course they could be guided and taught to accept the ways of the Corps, but they would never fully comprehend.  They could not.  The thinking of mundanes had polluted them; some even told that telepaths were evil.  It was not their fault really; they could not be blamed.  It was the mundanes.  Always the mundanes.  They hated and feared telepaths, and with good reason.  Mundanes were the past, outdated and obsolete.  Telepaths were the future, representing all that was strong and proud about Earth.  And when that bright future dawned Ashlen intended to be at the top of it all. 

Leisurely she strolled through the streets of Teeptown, nodding to those she passed, carrying herself taller and prouder knowing her Psi Cop uniform served to intimidate.  If only they knew, she smiled inwardly.  All they saw was a Psi Cop, a fearsome sight in its own right, but what they did not see was the true power that was within her reach.  Once her position was secured within Bureau 13, not even other Psi Cops – including Bester -- could oppose her.  It all seemed so easy and yet so difficult at the same time.  President Clark had assured her position within the Bureau, so long as she delivered the Minbari telepath to him.  She did not hesitate to admit this would be difficult at best and impossible at worst.  Depending on where Terann stood within her Caste would determine how much effort it would take. 

Having been very young during the Earth/Minbari War, Ashlen knew little about the Minbari as a race.  During her time at the Major Academy she had learned about alien cultures, most specifically how to deal with alien telepaths, but her lack of interest in non-humans had led to her forgetting much of what she was taught.  What she did know of the Minbari, however, did show some promise.  She understood that they believed the purity of their race to be sacred, going so far as to cast out those whose blood they even suspected of being tainted.  This being the case she was left with two options: Given no one knew about Terann's heritage, she could ensure that word quickly spread, leaving her vulnerable, or if the truth were already known, she would simply find someone eager to see her eliminated.  Once rid of any protection her own people would provide she would simply have to deal with Terann and her abilities.  This in itself was not a thought Ashlen relished.  Against another P12 she could hold her own, but what she saw of the Minbari's talents told her Terann was much more than a P12.  That left her to ponder whether to bring in other Psi Cops with the hope of collectively bringing her in or to simply deal with her alone.  Bringing in other cops created the risk of sparking the Corps' own interest in the Minbari, to say nothing of the likelihood of Terann finding out about her plan before it came to fruition. Detaining her herself, though infinitely more dangerous, was certainly more likely to be successful.  The fact that Ashlen herself could take credit for the capture herself coupled with the satisfaction she would get for finally one-upping the arrogant Minbari made this option all the more enticing.  It would have to be done with extreme caution, but was not completely impossible... with the proper plan.  This was where the questions began.  She could not hope to over-power her, and leveling the playing field was improbable without involving other telepaths.  Eliminating her abilities was certainly an option... but how?

Deciding it was something she would have to ponder further, the Psi Cop pushed the challenge to the back of her mind.  Currently, there were more pressing concerns she was being forced to focus on, ones that would need her unwavering attention.

Nearing the statue of William Karges, or the Grabber as he was referred to in Teeptown, Ashlen stifled a smile.  It was something she had always done since being told the truth regarding William Karges.  Stupid mundanes, the words flowed easily through her mind as naturally as the blood in her veins.  Most of those in the upper echelons of the Corps new the story told to the so-called 'normal' population was false, just a cute cover story to hid a lot of political wrangling.  But what did she care?  Let them believe what they wanted.  Telepaths had the Corps.  That was all they would need.

Catching sight of Alfred Bester, she did her best to ignore the usual shudder that ran down her spine whenever she saw the Psi Cop and forced a smile, stepping over to meet him.  "Mr. Bester," she said pleasantly.  "I am glad you could meet with me so early."

"For you, Ms, Ladan, anything." He returned her smile, gesturing with a gloved hand towards a vacant bench by a nearby maple tree.  Once seated, he spoke again.  "I hope this is good news."

She laughed lightly, hoping to lead him into believing he held the upper hand.  "I aim only to please."

"Good, then I trust all went well on Mars?  We hated to divert you, but you were the most skilled person in the area.  You understand?"

"Of course," she nodded.  "The Corps is Mother; the Corps is Father.  Actually it was a welcome distraction, after being on Babylon 5 surrounded by mundanes, pretending to be one of them... ugh!  Seriously though, it is good to be back.  I find I miss Earth."

"I know what you mean," agreed Bester.  Moving to switch the conversation back to the matter at hand he gestured to the packet she held in her hand then asked, "Is that the information I requested?"

"Yes.  Everything everyone wanted to know about Aelora Campbell."  Knowing he would rather she simply brief him on the contents of her report than have to wade through it in its entirety, she continued, "What I found is difficult to explain."

"Did you scan her?"

She nodded.  "But I didn't get much."

"You mean she blocked you?  So she at least has some telepathic abilities."

"But I don't believe she is very strong... "

"But she blocked you," he interrupted.

"Not exactly... I mean she did, I think she might have even been able to scan me, but then there was this scream..."

"A scream?" Bester perked up, his mind racing at this revelation.

"Yes, it was horrible.  After that I avoided scanning her."

"Then you know nothing more than that?" He was clearly becoming frustrated.

She shook her head.  "Nothing concrete.  I managed to lightly scan a few of her closer friends, Rangers mostly.  But we know she has some abilities, it gives us reason enough to bring her in.  And given her mother's abilities it seems most prudent that we do so.  She could still be latent... "

"That is rare, especially at her age."

"But not unheard of.  Stephen Walters manifested late," she argued.

At the mention of the infamous rogue telepath, Bester glanced down at his clenched fist.  "Is there anything else we can go on?"

"Very little.  It's all in the report.  But given that she is 'officially' a Centauri citizen, medical records and things of that nature are extremely hard to obtain."  At the other Psi Cop’s continued silence, she urged, "Seriously, I believe we have enough to warrant her arrest and detention, she's a telepath, that much cannot be argued, and even if she rates only as a P3 she still belongs here."

"No," Bester instructed firmly.  "Right now she is protected, with Sheridan, the Centauri and the Rangers we can't take any chances.  We have to move carefully."

Ashlen sighed audibly her frustration evident.  "So what is it you suggest?"

"Return to Babylon 5 and continue to watch her.  Try to push her, you know how, if her true abilities manifest contact me."  He then focused a hard look on her.  "Do not try to apprehend her yourself, you know how rogues can be.  Remember your training."

Ashlen smiled then rose to her feet, offering a pleasant parting then turned and walked away.  Bester watched her for several minutes until she disappeared in the busy streets.  Certain that she was no longer within 'hearing' distance he 'cast a signal and another Psi Cop, Brayden Caufield, stepped out from behind a cluster of carefully manicured shrubs moving to take the seat recently vacated by Ashlen.  Bester cast a sideways glance at the young telepath.  He was tall, attractive he supposed, with dark eyes and hair.  Like Ashlen, Bester had also trained Brayden upon his graduation from the Major Academy.  But unlike Ashlen, he knew he could trust Brayden.  It was something he had ensured the moment he had learned of Ashlen's deception.

"I believe that affirms our suspicions," he commented blandly.

Alfred Bester nodded solemnly.  "Someone has gotten to her."

"The Bureau?"

"Perhaps," he said softly, not liking to speak of Bureau 13 out in the open where others might hear.  For most they either were unaware of its existence completely or what little they knew bordered on conspiracy theory.  "We knew she was ambitious but I never believed she would betray the very heart of the Corps."

"But by not disclosing what she knows of this Minbari she has done exactly that."

Once again Bester only nodded.  Never had he been so wrong about someone so close to him, he could not fathom how it had even happened.  He had mentored Ashlen, helped her through some tough times while at the Academy, made sure she lived up to her potential, and now she had betrayed him, and the Corps, in ways he did not believe possible.  Certainly he knew there were forces working both within and without the Corps, forces that like a cancerous tumor, threatened to destroy everything around it.  It had been because of this that he had taken to hand picking those he worked with, choosing those who would remain loyal to him alone, so that when the time came he would be ready. 

"So what do we do?" Brayden asked again, after his first attempt went unnoticed. 

"We let her go," he said plainly, then at Brayden's confused look:  "We don't know enough yet, besides she is quite clearly not acting alone.  I will follow a few days behind her to Babylon 5, see what I can learn at that end.  And who knows, perhaps I can learn a thing or two regarding our Minbari teek."

"I will coordinate things back here on Earth, and get in touch with any contacts she may have on Mars," Brayden offered, as Bester rose to his feet.

The elder Psi Cop merely nodded then took his leave, a storm of thoughts raging through his mind.

 

 

 

 

 

After several hours of attempting to rest, G'Kar decided that the only place he would truly be happy was at Aelora's side.  He had been without sleep before and knew his body would be able to take the strain.  His heart however was a different matter.  He needed to be at her bedside, if only to remind himself that she was, in fact, still with him.  The memory of the pain he had felt when Cartagia had informed him of Aelora's execution was still fresh in his mind.  Never before had he felt such sorrow.  He had seen his world after the bombings and the occupation by the Centauri.  He had seen his own kind left homeless, alone and without hope, yet the anguish at having to face Aelora's death made it all pale in comparison.  Never had he imagined how completely the Human had managed to capture his heart, no matter the pain she had inflicted on him, physically or mentally, he knew he would always love her to the very depth of his soul.  For a moment he recalled the conversation he had with the Minbari, Terann, before Aelora had left for Centauri Prime.  How she had told him there would come a time where he forgot the Centauri he had come to hate and embrace Aelora as the Human he had fallen in love with.  Now Human was all he saw her as; all he had ever seen her as.  Regardless of how she had tried to deny it, how desperately she had tried to appear and act Centauri, G'Kar had seen the truth, and had loved her throughout. 

MedLab was relatively quiet when G'Kar entered, only a skeleton crew left to care for the handful of patients currently in the facility, milled about, talking quietly amongst themselves.  He ignored them as he moved to the IsoLab where he knew he would find Aelora sleeping quietly. 

As he entered her room, his heart once again weighed heavy in his chest, making it almost impossible to draw even a breath.  She looked so pale and fragile; the dark cuts and bruises making her skin appear even more sallow.  He cursed those who had harmed her, who had taken the strong person that resided deep within her, leaving only a broken, distant memory of what had once been.  He clenched his eyes shut, beating back the anger and tears, knowing that he was doing little good for Aelora.

Moving slowly to her bedside, he gently took her hand in his, noting how her bones protruded through skin that was paper-thin.  As he had done before, he pressed her hand against his face, allowing the scent of her to permeate his senses.  When finally he spoke, he kept his tone strong, reassuring, as if his strength would feed hers.  He kept his words simple, straying away from her condition and his own anguish at seeing her in this state, deciding instead to discuss goings on around the station, telling her of the end of the war and her freedom from the Shadows.  He continued to talk, unabated, stopping only to regain his breath before starting again. 

In the farthest reaches of her mind, Aelora became cognizant of a voice.  It called to her, comforted her, telling her it was safe for her to come out.  The others, those who had threatened her, were gone.  At least she believed they were.  She could not be sure.  Could not be sure of anything; the color of the sky, the sound of her heart, the memories that clouded her mind.  What was real and was unreal swirled together in ribbons of chaos, wrapping around her, binding her gently in one place, while tying her irrevocably in another. The voice came again, permeating the madness, parting the very fabric of all that surrounded her, drawing her out with gentle hands.    

As she allowed them to wrap themselves around her, she felt a warmth wash over her urging her forth, begging her to succumb.  As she gave herself over to it, everything around her went dark.  The voices returned, mocking her, berating her, blaming her for all the pain and horror of the universe.  Her body wrenched, straining to break free but the force held her tight, refusing to give her so much as an inch.  The gentle touch was joined by others, rough hands once again on her skin, clawing at her, ripping at what remained of her clothing. 

A light blared into existence ahead of her granting her the strength to break free of those that held her...

"Aelora!" G'Kar cried out, elation evident on his face as the Human's eyes opened.  No longer did she appear distant and unfocused.  Instead he saw a trace of the woman he had come to care for, her eyes moving about the room as if to establish her surroundings before finally settling on him.  What he was unprepared for, however, was the blood-curdling scream that emitted from the Human's parched lips.

Aelora looked about the cavern, kicking mindlessly at the dirt beneath her, anything to put distance between her and Na'Kar.  She sought out the others, anyone who would restrain Na'Kar's more aberrant tendencies, finding no one.  She screamed again, battling against her with her weakened limbs.

"No!" She screamed.

"Shh... Aelora..." G'Kar soothed, leaning close to her, trying to still her flailing arms.

"Don't touch me, Na'Kar!" 

"Aelora, Na'Kar is gone.  You are safe now," G'Kar told her softly.

But the Human would not listen, continuing to scream at the top of her lungs, taking to slamming her head into the bed beneath her, anything to keep the Narn from touching her.

The sounds emitting from the IsoLab quickly drew the attention of the medical staff and Doctor Franklin raced to Aelora's side followed closely by a handful of others.  They pushed G'Kar out of the way trying in vain to restrain the frantic Human.  As they worked, she begged at them, pleading for them not to hurt her, to not let Na'Kar near her, her eyes never straying from G'Kar. 

Given no other option, the medical team administered her a sedative, sending a calming wave to gently wash over her.  For a moment she lay unmoving, her arms contorted and fists clenched, then finally she blinked hard, the walls of the cavern melting all around her.  Slowly she began to make out minute details of her surroundings, the floor beneath her forming into a bed, the faces of the Narns who towered over her morphing into faces of people she knew and trusted. 

"Aelora," Doctor Franklin soothed.  "It is alright, you are safe.  You are on Babylon 5."

Her eyes still darted about the room, catching sight of those around her until she finally nodded, relaxing her muscles enough to allow her to cover her face with her hands, the tears flowing unbidden. 

"Aelora..." G'Kar stepped back to her side.

Her hands moved away from her face, her reddened eyes growing large.  "Get away from me!" She shouted at him.

"Aelora..." The Narn tried once again to reach the Human.

"Go away!!" She screamed at him first once then again and again.

"G'Kar, go!"  Franklin instructed harshly, trying to prevent Aelora from ripping out her intravenous tube and various monitoring devices. 

At first the Narn appeared ready to argue but a harsh glare sent him withdrawing from the room.  Once outside the room he continued to watch Aelora, waiting until the sedative took effect and she once again drifted off into sleep.  Once certain of her condition, the medical staff filed out of the Human's room, leaving to return to their other duties.  Only Stephen paused to speak the clearly upset Narn. 

"She needs some time, G'Kar," he said gently.  "She doesn't really know where she is let alone what she is saying."

"But now she has come out of the coma..."

Franklin nodded, knowing G'Kar's question.  "Yes, she will begin to heal mentally.  It will take time.  She will do and say things that will upset you, hurt you, even frighten you, but it is all part of the healing process.  You need to understand this.  She must be able to rely on you and Terann, even when she lashes out at you, pushing you away.  You must remember all that she has been through, and be there for her when she needs you."

G'Kar nodded his understanding, his eyes never once leaving Aelora.  He remained there for a long time after, watching her, silently professing his love to her, swearing to her that he would never ever allow harm to come to her again.

 

 

 

 

 

Na'Kar hovered over Aelora, his hideous face leaning close to hers, his hot, rancid breath blowing over her skin.  His hands moved over her body roughly, squeezing and pinching, his nails digging into her until they drew blood.  She was helpless, immobile, and unable to move away from him.  When she flailed her arms he cruelly grabbed her battered forearms, slamming them back into the floor causing her to scream out in pain.  He laughed at her cry, pushing her thighs apart to take her brutally, driving into her with a force that violently tore at her.  She begged at him to release her, begged for forgiveness for everything she had done to his people yet he continued, ignoring her pleas. 

"Please!  I beg of you!  Stop doing this!"

"Your cries mean nothing to me... shon'Ur."

Aelora's eyes flew open to find the face that hovered above her belonged to G'Kar.   The scream that tore from her throat emitted from somewhere near the bottom of her soul...

 

"Aelora!  Aelora wake up!  It is only a nightmare!  Nurse!  Bring me a sedative - stat!"

Franklin fought his patient's flailing arms to keep her from re-injuring herself.  He continued to call out to her in an attempt to wake her from her nightmare, as the nurse hovered at the opposite side, unable to administer the injection until he had her under control.  It was a difficult thing to do.  Her arms were only recently mended and he did not want to cause her further injury but she was in danger of doing so herself if she did not awaken from the terror that was gripping her.  Knowing no other way to bring her back to reality, Franklin finally reached out and slapped her hard across the face simultaneously shouting her name.

Aelora's eyes flew open to glance wildly about her surroundings for the danger that her subconscious was certain lurked nearby.  When her gaze finally settled on the doctor, she slowly calmed, though her heart continued to race and her breathing remained unsteady. 

"It's okay, Aelora," Franklin told her softly as he gently injected the sedative into her vein.  "You're safe."

Aelora took a deep breath though her eyes were still wild as if she had not completely awakened from her nightmare.  She clenched her fists into the bed sheets, fighting back against the wave of nausea that threatened.  His smell still lingered, her skin still burned from where he had touched her.  Her body felt as if it had just lived through the experience, her muscles tensed and worn, her cervix throbbing from the pain of his intrusion.   She fought against the tears that threatened, tears of pain and frustration and hopelessness.  But when Franklin gently took her hand in his while brushing his fingers across her cheek, whispering to her that everything would be all right, she was unable to fight against her fears any longer.  She gave over to the terror and anguish that lived within her, screaming out her aggravation through her tears while Franklin wrapped her in a comforting embrace.

"Shhh.  You're safe," he repeated, caressing her back in an attempt to soothe her.  Even though he knew that no one would ever be able to assure her of her safety enough, would ever get her to believe in it and trust it, he continued to repeat the words until her sobbing receded.  He laid her back against the bed when her trembling had finally stilled and gave her a kind smile.  "We're never going to get any sleep around here if this keeps up," he teased.

Aelora said nothing, her expression bland and uncaring.

Franklin sobered, taking her hand in his.  "It might help if you talk about it, Aelora."

She turned her gaze away from him at that, suppressing the urge to tell him to go to Hell.  He is only trying to help you, an inner voice pleaded.  Do not take your anger out on those who do not deserve it.  But how could he understand?  How could any of them understand?  It was more than just the pain that they had inflicted on her - pain she could handle.  It reached beyond the hopelessness she had felt - she had suffered hopelessness more than enough on Centauri Prime.  What wrenched at her mind and soul was the degradation, the humiliations they had forced her to feel, and the complete worthlessness that surrounded her.  She felt dirty, covered in a filth that would never wash away, ashamed to face any who knew her knowing they would look upon her with pity and embarrassment.  She knew she would never again be able to sleep without a light on; never be able to venture out alone without fear of meeting with a Narn - any Narn. 

Even G'Kar.

Aelora closed her eyes as the tears threatened once more.  She had finally admitted her love for the Narn, pushed aside her childhood teachings, and embraced the person she was meant to be - only to have it torn from her grasp by paltry vengeance.  Deep within her heart, a flicker of love still burned brightly but it was overshadowed by the ugliness that surrounded her soul.  When she had realized and accepted her true feelings for G'Kar on Centauri Prime, it had seemed as if a door had opened up before her.  She knew what her future would be and looked forward to the happiness they would share.  Even that first day in captivity on Narn, she had continued to hope and believe, her thoughts never far from G'Kar. 

But little by little Aelora's strength of will had been tested. 

At first, she had fought to keep her memories of G'Kar with her, retreating into a fantasy world of pleasure and joy that they could not take from her.  In the end, she had not been strong enough to keep them back.  The horrors and degradations she had been forced to live had slowly seeped their way into her soul until any memory that held an ounce of beauty within it had quickly been destroyed.  Aelora could no longer think of G'Kar without imagining that he was a part of the brutality.  She could no longer hope for a better future without believing that he would want no part of someone like her - someone that had been used and soiled and debased.

"Doctor?"

Franklin turned away from his examination of Aelora to glance at his assistant.  "Yes?  What is it?"

"There is a visitor here to see the patient."

Franklin glanced back down at Aelora, noting that she had at least been receptive enough to the news to make eye contact.

"If it is G... G'Kar, I do not wish to see him."

The doctor was about to argue then thought better of it.  Though he could not stand the idea of telling G'Kar that Aelora did not want him around - he could not imagine the devastation that would appear in the Narn's expression - he also knew better than to upset the patient at this stage of recovery.  He knew that Aelora's wishes stemmed from the fact that G'Kar was the same race as those of her captors, he only hoped that she would come to realize being the same race and being the same person were two different things.

He stepped out of IsoLab One to find that it was not G'Kar but Vir Cotto who hovered around the edge of the door, glancing surreptitiously through the window from time to time.

"Vir."  Franklin flashed him a welcoming smile.  "I didn't know you had returned from Centauri Prime."

"I have been trying to get Londo's affairs in order before he returns when I heard about Lady Kyr - Aelora."  Vir glanced toward the door once more before moving closer to Franklin and dropping his voice into a lower whisper.  "How is she?  Cartagia told us she was dead."

"Well she's not dead," Franklin replied.  "Though I don't know if that is exactly good news."

Vir frowned at his words, not quite understanding.

"The Narns that had her... " He shook his head.  "They abused her badly, Vir.  That, along with the effects of the Sleepers almost did kill her."

The Centauri aide's eyes widened in a mixture of shock and fear.  "The Sleepers?  What did they do to her?"

"It appears the Shadows put in some sort of failsafe to prevent her from inhibiting her abilities.  Basically, the Sleepers were slowly destroying her body from the inside out, making it impossible for her to fight infection, disease, the normal wear of everyday aging."

Vir began wringing his hands together, his complexion paling.  "Oh!  Oh my goodness!  It is my entire fault!  All of it!"

"What are you talking about?"

"She asked me to get those Sleepers for her and I did!"  Vir admitted, his tone high and full of self-recrimination.  "I should have never done it - or checked with you first!"

"Now, Vir," Franklin admonished reasonably.  "None of this is your fault.  None of it, understand?  Aelora took those drugs because she had been told to and then believed she was doing the right thing.  You had no way of knowing that they were harming her, especially if she refused to tell you."

"She must hate me," Vir intoned miserably.

The doctor shook his head.  "I can assure you that you are the last on her list of least favorite people right now, Vir."  A thoughtful pause. "Why don't you go in and see her?"

The Centauri appeared to panic.  "Do you think I should?  I mean, do you think she would want to speak to me?"

"Frankly I don't care if she wants to or not."  At Vir's expression of confusion, Franklin explained, "Part of her healing process includes being able to revert back into the society around her.  I want her to know, and be completely assured of the fact that there are many people on this station who care about her and will not cause her harm.  She needs to know that she is not alone."

"Well if you think I should... " Vir replied, his tone of voice indicating that he did not completely trust Doctor Franklin's opinion.  The Centauri moved cautiously over to the threshold, peering around the frame into the IsoLab.  "My Lady?"  He questioned softly.

Aelora started at the formal use of "my lady", turning a panicked look in his direction.  When she realized who it was, she quieted though she did not appear particularly welcoming either.  "It is Aelora," she told him firmly.  "Aelora Campbell.  Not "my lady"."

"I am sorry," Vir apologized, suddenly reconsidering his decision to speak with her.  He glanced back at Doctor Franklin for assistance but the doctor had already moved off to look in other patients.

"No, I'm sorry, Vir."  Aelora sighed.  "I didn't mean to snap... I just... I would rather leave that part of my life behind me."

Vir nodded and took a step closer.  "Londo and I... we thought you were dead.  He will be pleased to hear that is not so."

"How is Londo?"  Aelora questioned, injecting as much enthusiasm into her question as she could.

It did not work.  Her tone indicated that she might as well have been asking how long she had left to live.

"He is busy.  You know he is Prime Minister now.  After Cartagia's death -" Vir stopped abruptly, realizing he had just mentioned a name that he probably should have not brought up.

"Cartagia's death," Aelora repeated, her gaze growing distant.  Oh how I wish I could have been there, she thought.  To see his face as he knew he was dying.  To have laughed at him, taunted him.  "He is really and truly dead?"

Vir swallowed hard and nodded.  "Yes.  I... I witnessed his death myself."

For the first time since she had come out of her coma, Aelora smiled, and it was a terrible smile to see.  "I am glad.  I wish I could have witnessed it.  I wish I could have done it.  To have plunged a knife deep into his flesh, to feel his blood as it spilled over my hand... " She clenched said hand into a fist before her eyes, imagining the Emperor's death as she did so.  "I could witness his death a thousand times over and it would not be enough."

Vir could only stare at the woman before him in disbelief.  Was this truly the same person he had come to know?  He glanced around; thinking a mistake had been made.  Even beyond her words, it was her eyes that served to terrify him.  They appeared blank, soulless.  He had seen eyes exactly like that before - on the exact same person Aelora was currently picturing herself plunging a knife into.  He suppressed the urge to shudder.

"I had better go," Vir excused himself suddenly.  "I have a lot to do," he lied.

Aelora turned her gaze back to him and for the briefest of moments, the green-eyed gaze Vir had come to know returned.  "Vir, thank you.  I never said it on Centauri Prime and I should have.  Thank you for being there, thank you for caring.  I don't know what I would have done without at least one ally among a court of snakes."  As quickly as it had appeared, the softness of her expression hardened once more.

Vir could only nod in reply as he turned and shuffled quietly from the room.   

 

 

 

 

 

The next morning, Terann peered quietly into IsoLab to find her friend sleeping peacefully.  She sighed in relief.  Doctor Franklin had informed her first thing about Aelora's nightmares that had not ceased to plague her.  He explained that he had tried to get his patient to talk about it but she had remained silent and unyielding.  Terann knew that he wanted her to try to get Aelora to open up but she also knew it would not be possible.  The Human would speak of her experience when she was ready to and not a moment before.

Stepping inside, Terann asked herself if she should not come back later.  She knew Aelora needed all of the undisturbed rest she could get.  Her complexion was still very sickly and her skin seemed to simply cling to her bones.  There were dark circles around her eyes and the gash that ran down her cheek was ghastly in appearance.  Doctor Franklin had assured Terann that remarkably Aelora's hair had begun to grow back, something that he had not expected to happen with the damage that had been done to her scalp.  The Minbari had replied that it most likely was due in part to her modifications by the Shadows, though she could still not fathom why Aelora's mind continued to appear so blank and empty.  Reaching out once more, Terann probed into the depths of her friend's thoughts only to once more find neither resistance nor the slightest notice that she was there.  Her concentration was so focused that Terann did not realize Aelora had awakened until the Human spoke:

"Have nothing better to do?"

Terann knew to ignore her friend's biting tone.  Aelora was focusing her anger and rage on everyone around her since she was denied the chance to focus it on those who deserved it.  "Actually, no I did not."  The Minbari smiled kindly and took a seat next to the bed.  "I came to discuss accommodations."

"Accommodations?"

She nodded.  "Since neither of us are employed, nor do we have a home, we are obviously with very little choices beyond that of pitching some tents in Down Below."   

"And?"

"And it would be more affordable for us to share quarters, unless you are completely against the idea?"

Aelora said nothing.

Terann took her silence as acceptance.  "Obviously, we are both going to need to find jobs around here."  At this, Terann made a face.

"I didn't think you were staying."

"I have nowhere else to go," Terann snapped, then took a deep breath.  "I mean, I do not relish the idea of staying here, no.  But, for now, it is my only option."

Terann waited for the inevitable questions as to why she could not return to Minbar but they were not forthcoming.  And while with everyone else Terann did not wish to discuss recent events, she found herself longing to tell Aelora.  It was a foolish wish and she silently berated herself for thinking it.  How could she expect Aelora to sit there and listen to her problems when the Human was suffering enough from her own?  She ignored the voice that insisted because that was what friends were meant to do.

"Aelora," Terann paused, forming the words in her mind that she wanted to say.  "I do not want you to take this the wrong way - please understand that I am only trying to help you but... well, I have been scanning you ever since I brought you back and ... well, I can not... that is, I can not sense any resistance from you.  There is absolutely no reaction whatsoever to my intrusion."

            The Human continued to regard her for a long moment, her stare so intense that Terann finally found herself having to look away from her gaze.  Finally she asked, her voice tinged with mistrust:  "I don't remember giving you permission to pry into my mind.  Oh wait.  You are special. You don't need permission to interfere, now do you?"

            Terann took a calming breath, stilling the ire that stirred.  "Aelora, please do not take it that way.  I was only looking out for your welfare - "

            "Yes.   You always know what's best, don't you?  I suppose I should thank you for keeping the truth about my father a secret, hmmm?"

            Terann looked away from her for a moment, simultaneous feelings of guilt and anger assailing her.  She knew she had been wrong in her decision not to tell Aelora the truth but there was other issues of more importance to be discussed.  She did not understand how Aelora could focus so much anger at her when she had been the one to rescue her from the hell she had suffered.  Where was the gratitude for that at least?

            "I am sorry for not telling you about your father, Aelora," Terann told her, her voice tight.  "I have already said that.  I do not understand how you can continue to focus such anger on me after what I have done for you.  I risked quite a bit by coming to get you from Narn, as did Marcus!"

            Aelora rose up on her elbows, pinning the Minbari with a flashing gaze.  "What you did for me?!  I don't ever remember asking you to come after me, Terann, and I sure as hell do not remember asking you to become my savior! Do you see these?"  She lifted up her hands, palms up, forcing Terann to look at the deep, ghastly scars caused by Aelora's attempt to take her own life.  "I wanted to die, do you understand that, Terann?  I wanted to die!"

            "No."  The Minbari shook her head, taking a step toward her friend.  "That was not you, Aelora.  It was the Vorlons - "

            "Are you telling me I don't know my own heart? I wanted to die!"  Aelora shouted, slamming a fist into the mattress.     

            "Aelora, no!"

            Aelora and Terann looked toward the door to see G'Kar hovering just past the threshold, surprise and disbelief evident in his expression.

            Terann put out a hand, attempting to warn him.  "G'Kar, now is not the - "

            "What do you know?"  The Human shrieked at him.  "It was your fault this happened to me!  Your people who did this - in your name!"

            The Minbari whirled back to Aelora.  "Stop that, Aelora!  You do not mean that!"

            "GET OUT!"  Aelora screeched, grabbing a nearby pitcher of water and hurling it toward them both.  "Leave me!  Leave me!"

            She began screaming incoherently, ripping the IV's from her hands, and throwing anything within her reach wildly around the room.  Doctor Franklin and two assistants hurried into the IsoLab, pushing G'Kar and Terann out of their way. 

            "Do as she says!" Franklin shouted back at the Minbari and Narn.

            "But - " G'Kar started forward.

            "Get out of here!  We've got to get her calm."

            Terann tugged on G'Kar's sleeve, pulling him from the IsoLab back out into the MedLab where they stood and watched the proceedings.  Franklin moved to grab Aelora's arms, holding her down, while one assistant administered a sedative and the other looked on to offer support where needed.  The Human went from screaming to sobbing disjointedly, one moment yelling out "Stop hurting me!" and the next begging Doctor Franklin to "make the pain go away."  He continued to speak to her softly, holding her hand and caressing her cheek.  Once G'Kar made a move toward the door, his love for Aelora pulling him to be with her but Terann put out a hand to stop him, shaking her head.  He seemed to understand that now was not the time, though his heart cried out to reach to the Human and hold her until her fears went away.  His hands clenched into fists as Aelora's terror-filled voice reached them:

            "I don't want to live like this, Stephen!  I don't want to live like this!  Please make it go away... please?!"

            Franklin stayed with her until she grew quiet and the sedative began to work before he finally stepped out of the room to join G'Kar and Terann.

            “I want someone with her around the clock,” he called back to his assistants as they cleaned up the mess her fit had created.  He turned to the Narn and Minbari, running a hand across his eyes. 

            “I am sorry,” Terann told him immediately.  “I did not expect – “

            He held up a hand to stop her.  “No.  It wasn’t your fault.  I should have warned you.”

            “Warned us what?”  G’Kar demanded.  “I thought she was getting better.  You said – “

“Physically she is,” Franklin admitted.  “In fact, it is surprising how quickly her body is recovering.  But as her body repairs itself, her mind seems to fall deeper and deeper into some sort of emotional black hole.  I give her a sedative and she becomes depressed and maudlin.  The moment it wears down she becomes violent and angry.  The worst part is, she never seems to know she is doing it.  Sometimes, right in the middle of the violence, she will simply stop and apologize.  To me, the worst seems to be when I give her the sedative, and all she asks for is for me to take the pain away… only I can’t.”  He shook his head, heaving a heavy sigh.  “Schizophrenia is the best word to describe it only I don’t wish to give her that mark.  Not yet.  I keep telling myself she will get better.”           

"What can we do for her?"  G'Kar prodded, his expression still hopeful.  He could not allow himself to believe that the Aelora he had come to love would never again exist.  He refused to contemplate the thought of never again hearing her laughter or seeing her smile.  Her words just now tore at him -- her accusation that her torture had been due to him.  The worst of it was she had said nothing he had not already thought himself.  But hearing her say the words was not something he had expected to have to endure. 

            "Unfortunately, G'Kar, there is really nothing we can do.  I have another drug I am going to try, to see if that might balance her out, keep the mood swings down... but other than that..."

"What is your suggestion, Doctor?"  Terann knew that she would have to be the one to approach the situation logically.  G'Kar would face everything regarding Aelora with his heart, which was as it should be, but would not help at the moment.

"Truthfully?"  Franklin glanced through the window at his patient.  "I would suggest sending her to Earth.  They have the facilities and the doctors to handle such problems.  She needs to be looked after by a qualified psychologist."

"No."  Terann shook her head.  "She can not be sent to Earth.  Your Psi Corps would take her then and I will not allow it."

"If they can help her - "

"It is not an option," the Minbari stated flatly, her expression saying it was the end of the discussion.

G'Kar nodded.  "I agree.  I will not let her go."

The doctor sighed and shook his head.  "Neither of you seem to realize it may be what is best for the patient.  You saw her in there.  You heard her.  If she remains on Babylon 5, she is going to have to be watched 24/7, or she may very well make another attempt to take her own life."

The Narn sucked in a sharp breath at the quietly spoken words and Terann closed her eyes.  She tried to tell herself that no, Aelora would never so such a thing without an outside influence but the truth was the person in the IsoLab before them was not Aelora.  Not the Aelora any of them knew.  There was not telling what she would do or the measures she would take to make the nightmares and fears she suffered to go away.  The Aelora that had left Babylon 5 for Centauri Prime had been strong determined; she had a zest for life that was unmatched.  She had faced pain and heartbreak in her life with an attitude of learning from her mistakes and growing.  The Aelora who had sacrificed her life to protect G'Kar, who had turned all of Emperor Cartagia's anger toward her knowing the price she would have to pay, would not then throw her life away meaninglessly.  Not when she had the promise of a future before her that she had struggled to attain for so long.

Sadly, though, the Aelora who Terann had brought back to Babylon 5 seemed to have no fight, no desires or dreams left within her.  She was lifeless shell, within whom there remained no hope.  Was it right for Terann to stand there and pass judgment?  Had she not believed more than once since her last meeting with Neroon that there was nothing left for her?  Did she feel she had anywhere to go or anyone to turn to when the Vorlons had so casually dismissed her existence?  Even now, Terann found herself wondering just exactly what she would be doing if she did not have Aelora's welfare to keep herself occupied.  There was a part of her that refused to allow her friend to be sent to Earth for that selfish reason alone - she had no one else.  And with nothing to occupy her, nothing to keep her busy, no one else's problems to become absorbed in, she would have nothing but time to dwell on her own life's tragedies.  She would be free to think of Neroon and how much she missed being at his side; she would be left with the memories of the happiness she had began to find on Minbar; she would time and again relive the pain of the Vorlon's departure.

Aelora, she called out to her friend, we have more in common than you might at this moment believe.  Neither of us may ever trust again, neither of us have a home or family.  But Aelora, please remember, we have each other.  We must remember we have each other.  Together or apart...

"Terann."

The Minbari snapped out of her reverie and turned to G'Kar.  The rage on his face almost caused her to take a step back.  "Yes, G'Kar?"

"I hope you made those bastards pay," he ground out, his voice barely above a contained whisper.  "I hope you made them pay in blood."  With that he said, he returned to his vigil, silently watching over the Human who had once been known as Aelora Kyra.

 

 

 

 

 

G’Kar stared down at the image of Aelora that he held cradled in his hand.  Terann had given him the picture the day before, telling him that it had been taken during the time the both of them had stayed on Minbar.  She explained to him that the falls in the background held certain significance to them both, which was why Aelora had asked to get a photograph.  Terann had given it to him in an attempt to remind him whom the real Aelora was, to keep the hope alive that between the two of them, they could help her to smile again.

  Her smile lit up the photograph.  G’Kar could not recall a moment when she had ever seemed so happy and carefree as she appeared there on Minbar.  Her face was full of color, her green eyes bright and flashing, and her expression beatific.  There had been a breeze in the air for her dark red curls were whipping around her face, the tendrils wrapping around her neck sensuously.  G’Kar reached a finger out and traced the outline of her features.  He wished he could have been there to share that moment with her, to have laughed with her and marveled at the wonder of the beauty around them.  Would they ever have that chance now?  Had her captivity at the hands of his people ruined any chance of a future for them?  Would she ever be able to look upon him again without fearing him? Hating him for what his people had done?  Doctor Franklin feared that Aelora would attempt to take her own life again, and it was an opinion that G’Kar’s mind simply refused to acknowledge.  It seemed impossible that a woman of such fire and vivacity would ever conceive of ending her life.  The Aelora he had known would fight until the very end to live her life to the fullest extent possible.

But the Aelora he had known no longer existed.  Her innocence and joy and passion for life had been stripped from her.  Possibly forever.

While G’Kar could not grasp the thought of Aelora attempting suicide, neither was he prepared to ignore Doctor Franklin’s warning.  He and Terann had discussed it and would take the necessary steps to assure Aelora’s safety until she was completely herself again.  Though he hated misleading the Human, both he and the Minbari agreed that she would never agree to the precautions they planned to take.  But he was willing to do everything within his power to protect Aelora and keep her safe. 

The chime at his door pulled G’Kar from his reverie and he gently sat the photograph on his desk before standing to welcome his guest.  At his call to “Enter”, the door slid open and his good friend Ta’Lon walked into he quarters.

“G’Kar, you asked to see me?”

Ta’Lon was a Warrior in the truest sense.  He was dedicated and loyal to his people and his homeworld.  But his loyalty extended beyond that.  It extended to those who were too weak to fight their own battles, encompassed injustice against those who deserved better, and he drew no boundaries regarding race or affiliation.  He fought from his heart, allowing it to dictate him in his choices instead of ever permitting anger, rage or revenge to take over.  G’Kar trusted him implicitly.  He would even go so far as to trust him with the dearest part of his heart.

“Ta’Lon, my friend.  How are you?”

“I am well, G’Kar.  It is good to see you again.”  The Narn smiled.  “When news of your capture reached us here, we feared the worst.  Obviously, we should have had more faith in you.  Not only did you escape with your life but you won us the freedom of our world as well.”

“That is not something I can completely take credit for, Ta’Lon.  No.  No questions, please.  Perhaps, in time… “ G’Kar broke off, collecting his thoughts.  He glanced down at Aelora’s photograph for a moment, thinking once more how beautiful he found her to be, before returning his attention to Ta’Lon who was watching him with great interest.  “Ta’Lon, I have a favor to ask of you.”

“Of course, G’Kar.  I am at your service.”

“This… It is a very important favor I ask of you, my friend.  One that will not be easy.”

“You speak in riddles, G’Kar,” Ta’Lon told him plainly.  “Simply tell me what it is you wish.” 

G’Kar smiled.  “You always come straight to the point, Ta’Lon.  Very well.  Do you know much of the story regarding what happened to me on Centauri Prime?  Specifically that which involved Lady Aelora Kyra?”           
            Ta’Lon shrugged.  “We only heard bits and pieces here and there.  It was told that she had been spying on you for quite some time and that she was involved in your torture on Centauri Prime.  But then there was speculation because word spread among the Centauri that she and the Kyra’s were traitors.”

“I see.”  G’Kar considered his words carefully before replying, “Aelora never spied on me, nor was she responsible for any part of my torture.  In fact, it is very much the opposite.  She lied to protect me then sacrificed herself on Centauri Prime to spare my dignity and save the life of one of our females.  For her trouble and pain, our people attempted to destroy her.”

Ta’Lon raised his brow at this, not immediately speaking.  He glanced away from G’Kar, walking around the couch for a moment, thinking.  Finally, he looked back at G’Kar and said, “You speak of Lady Kyra, whose family has been known as a terror among our people for over a century, with… great fondness.”

“You miss nothing, Ta’Lon,” G’Kar told him.  He sat down heavily in his chair, his eyes sweeping once more over her image.  “Aelora is not a Kyra, and has never been a Kyra.  It just took her a bit longer than the rest of us to realize it.”  He took a deep breath then, “I love her.”

Ta’Lon said nothing to this but continued to wait expectantly. 

G’Kar sighed; knowing Ta’Lon would not make this easy for him.  “When Cartagia learned of Aelora’s perfidy – when she let him see that she cared – he became enraged.  I believe by then he sensed what I felt for her and decided to make an example of her to both myself as well as his Court.  He beat her brutally, even shattering her forearms so that she could not fight back.  She never gave in though,” he said with a soft, pained smile, remembering how she taunted Cartagia with her love for a Narn.  “Later, he led me to believe that he had killed her.  So you can only understand my happiness at discovering she was alive when I returned to Babylon 5.”

“It sounds as if you have had to suffer much at the hands of the Centauri, G’Kar,” Ta’Lon told him.  “But I do not see what it has to do with me.” 

“I am sorry, Ta’Lon.”  G’Kar smiled.  “I keep replaying these events over and over in my mind as if I am searching for a point where I could have done something to change everything that has happened.”  He stood, picking up the photograph and moving over to Ta’Lon.  “This was Aelora on Minbar, a few weeks before she left for Centauri Prime.”

The Narn took the picture from him and assessed it for a long moment.  He had seen Lady Kyra only from afar before and had never really formed an opinion regarding her one way or the other.  From the photograph, she appeared to be a vibrant being, full of energy, her eyes hinting at intelligence and laughter.  He held it back out to G’Kar, beginning to understand what he saw in the Human.  “She is attractive,” he commented.

“There is more to her than that,” G’Kar corrected.  “Or, at least, there was.  I am showing you this because I want you to understand the person she was, the person our people destroyed with blind vengeance.  Have you heard of a radical named Na’Kar?”

Ta’Lon nodded with a frown.  “I have met him a few times.  We never quite saw eye to eye so I kept my association with him to a minimum.  Are you saying he is the one who held Lady Kyra in captivity?”

“Yes.  He and his group of followers.  What they did to her –“ G’Kar halted abruptly, his fists clenching at his sides.  “I can not think of it without becoming enraged, Ta’Lon.  The being laying in MedLab is alien to me.  I do not understand her and I almost cry each time I look at her.  They abused her, Ta’Lon.  Abused and tortured and humiliated until she had nothing left with which to fight.  No strength of will to go on.”

“I do not condone what they did, G’Kar,” Ta’Lon told him quietly.  “But you must understand that they believed what they were doing to be right.  They believed they were doing in your name with your blessing.  Our people have been angry for so long, G’Kar.  And after this last war, they were left with no avenue in which to vent that anger.  Though Na’Kar is not an example of our people that I would like for other races to compare us, I can still understand his motivations.  As should you.”

G’Kar shook his head.  “Giving him an excuse only gives us leave to become exactly like our oppressors, Ta’Lon.  We must move away from that if we are to survive.  Had he simply killed Aelora, I would have lived with the pain for life but I would have been able to understand better.  Instead, he used her as a play toy, just as the Centauri Emperor did with me.  Only he had more avenues from which to strip her dignity and self-worth, Ta’Lon, more humiliations to force her to endure.  Look at this photo,” G’Kar instructed him, holding it up once more.  “Does this look like someone who would take her own life?  Does it?”  He did not wait for a reply.  “She attempted it, Ta’Lon.  To get away from the horrors she was living, she was found with her wrists slashed.  And I would have lost her forever if Terann had not gotten to her in time.  And now that she has awakened, now that she is left with these nightmares that haunt her even outside of sleep, Dr. Franklin fears that she will make this attempt again.”  G’Kar turned away, placing the picture back on his desk.  He rubbed a hand over his eyes in frustration.  The feeling of helplessness, at not knowing what to do to help Aelora, at being unable to simply make her pain disappear, consumed him.  “As much as I refuse to believe in Dr. Franklin’s warning, deep inside I find myself agreeing with him.”

“I am sorry, G’Kar,” Ta’Lon said sympathetically, beginning to understand the Ambassador’s anger toward his own people.  “How is it that I can help?”

It was a few minutes before G’Kar replied.  He turned back to face Ta’Lon after he had regained his composure.  “Aelora is finally being released from MedLab tomorrow.  Physically she is healing well.  It is her mental state that has us worried.  Terann cannot be with her day and night and as much as I would like to, she is uncomfortable with my presence, for obvious reasons as to my race.  I would follow her but for one, I have my own duties regarding our homeworld that I must attend to and, for another, I believe Aelora would know when I was near.  I cannot explain it without sounding insane but, there is a connection between us that I fear would make my shadowing her impossible.”

“So you would like me to do this for you?”

“It would mean a great deal, Ta’Lon,” G’Kar answered simply.  “To be her invisible bodyguard, to make certain no one brings her harm or frightens her.  To keep an eye on her when she is alone so that she does not make anymore foolish attempts.”

“This seems a very personal matter, G’Kar.  Have you no fear that others will wonder why I am to pull away from tasks that correlate to Narn to protect the woman you love?  A woman who, unfortunately, has quite a few shon’kar’s taken against her.”

G’Kar thought this over for a moment before replying.  He knew that Ta’Lon was right; knew that using Ta’Lon for a personal undertaking broke certain rules of protocol.  If discovered, he could possibly lose his position, especially considering how his people felt about the Kyra family.  But Aelora was not a Kyra, which was something he had to get them to one day understand.  She was not even remotely Centauri and whatever crimes the people who raised her had committed against the Narn could not be held against her. 

“Do you remember, Ta’Lon, when I was released from my sentence here and told you that the key to survival for our people lay with the Humans?”

Ta’Lon nodded.

“For whatever her past has been, Aelora is Human.  And she is a very special Human.  I cannot explain in detail for there are certain aspects about her that must remain secret for now, simply to ensure her safety in freedom.  Suffice to say though that protecting her, earning her forgiveness and understanding is in our world’s best interest.”

“You expect me to believe that my watching her for you is not purely out of selfish reasons, G’Kar?”

G’Kar smiled.  “They are present, Ta’Lon.  Regarding that I will not lie.  But believe me – trust me when I say that I truly believe someday Aelora Campbell will mean quite a lot to our world and our people.”

Ta’Lon was silent for a long moment, regarding the Narn before him thoughtfully.  Finally, he nodded his acquiescence.  “Very well, G’Kar.  I will do as you ask and protect and watch over the Human.  You have my word.”

G’Kar felt relief pour through him, relief and just an ounce of hope that remained long after Ta’Lon had taken his leave.  If they could simply get Aelora through the next few weeks, allowing her time to come to terms with the terror she had faced, to accept all that had been done to her and move on, then perhaps the chance for her and him to begin again was within their grasp.  She needed to know that she was safe, that G’Kar and Terann and so many others were there at her side, to protect her and be there for her.  Once they got her to realize that, G’Kar was certain that the healing process could begin. 

   

 

 

 

 

 

"Take a deep breath."

Aelora did as instructed by Doctor Franklin, her gaze never straying from Terann as he continued her exam.  Today she was finally being released from her stay in MedLab, and the Human found herself uncertain as to be pleased or not.  In truth, she feared stepping outside those doors, having so many faces around her, so many faces that would whisper and point and glance at her sympathetically.  She shuddered.

"Cold?" Franklin asked.

Aelora shook her head.

"I am going to remove your bandages now," he warned her, turning her head gently toward the left so that he could reach the end of the wrapping. 

Her fists clenched into the mattress as fear engulfed her.  She did not want to see what lay beneath the bandages.  She had already imagined the horrors of her appearance every time her memory recalled the torture that had been visited upon her.  Aelora shuddered again as Franklin stepped away from her, only this time he did not offer comment.  Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Terann flinch then quickly look away. 

"I want a mirror," Aelora demanded.

The Doctor shook his head.  "Aelora, perhaps - "

"Give me a mirror!"

He shook his head once more then disappeared out of the room to locate the item for his patient.  Terann continued to remain silent, uncertain of what to say to her friend.  Aelora's emotions were so strong as to appear palpable; ranging from barely suppressed anger to intense depression.  She feared she would say the wrong thing at the wrong moment and set Aelora off on another tantrum.  Though Doctor Franklin had assured her that the new drug he was administering to the Human seemed to be working, Terann could still feel the rage that centered deep within her.  When Franklin returned with a mirror, the Minbari found herself wishing she could be anywhere but there at that moment.  Though she silently reminded herself that Aelora was strong, she also knew that anyone would be horrified by the damage that had been done to the Human's scalp, especially Aelora herself.

"The damage isn't as bad as it may look," Franklin began to explain hurriedly as Aelora snatched the mirror from him.  "Luckily, your hair is growing back in ... The scars will remain though... "

Aelora stared at the reflection wondering for a moment who the person was staring back at her.  She almost resembled a Centauri female.  The jagged cut that ran down her cheek was mending well; the Doctor had assured her there would be no scar.  Deep bruises still marred her cheeks and throat and her complexion remained pasty.  Slowly, she pulled the mirror back, widening the view to encompass her head.  While she kept her expression carefully neutral inside her mind screamed out in horror.  Why had they done this to her?  Could they not have simply killed her?  There were large scabs where her scalp had been torn out along with the locks of hair and others where they had simply used a knife or razor in order to scrape both hair and scalp away.  Half way along the left side of her head was where the burn scars began, extending back across her scalp and down her neck to her shoulders.  Fortunately, Aelora had not been awake during the many debridings Franklin and his staff had performed.  She fought against the bile that rose in her throat at the image the mirror reflected.  I hate you, she thought silently.  I hate you for being weak, for not fighting back, for giving in, giving up and accepting.  I hate you for what you were and what you have become.  I hate you for surviving.       

"Aelora?"  Doctor Franklin spoke softly.  "How do you feel?"

"Fine." The lie came easily.  She even forced a smile, a smile she knew they both wanted to see.  "I am fine, thank you, doctor.  Not very attractive though, hmmm?"  She commented with self-deprecating humor. 

"Your hair is growing well, Aelora," Franklin assured her.  "No one will notice the scars once it is all regrown."

"It doesn't matter."  I hate it! I hate it! I hate it!  "After all, 3 billion Centauri can't be wrong."

She's lying; Terann wanted to tell the doctor when he flashed a relieved smile.  She's lying and if I confronted her about it now I may never again earn her trust.  Terann stepped forward, holding out a plain white bag to Aelora.  "Here, I bought you this.  I tried to get the color as close as I could.  I figure you could use it until your hair is long enough that you are comfortable."

Comfortable?  Comfortable?  As if I ever could be!  Aelora reached in and pulled out a red-haired wig.  It was medium length and wavy, not far off from her own color.  "Thank you, Terann."  You know I look horrid, just as I do; only you are too much of a coward to say it. 

"Here let me help you put that on," Franklin offered, taking the hairpiece from Aelora and gently slipping it onto her head, careful not to rub it against any of the sores that remained.  "There you go."

"It is perfect," Terann smiled.

Aelora glanced in the mirror, agreeing that it looked infinitely better than what was underneath.  In truth, she hated it already but vanity won out over any desire to have the station's inhabitants all seeing the hideousness that had been done to her.  If there was something Aelora could stomach no more of, it was pity.  As long as she kept the wig on and applied her makeup right, everyone would pretend that nothing had happened, that everything was okay in her little world.  Even Dr. Franklin and Terann already appeared more relaxed, as if they no longer had to be reminded.  Aelora wondered how long it could go on; how long before she could no longer keep it in.

She slid off the examining table, glancing over at Terann.  "Ready?"

The Minbari nodded and led the way out the door.  Franklin reached out and gently touched Aelora's arm, stopping her.

"If you need anything, and I mean anything Aelora, even if it is just to talk, please don't hesitate in contacting me."

"I'll be fine, Dr. Franklin." And if you believe that, I have some prime ski resort property on the Drazi homeworld to sell you.  "Don't worry about me."

He seemed to consider this for a moment then let is pass without replying.  Instead, he instructed, "I want to see you back in here tomorrow afternoon.  And every day after that until I say otherwise, understood?"

"You worry too -- "

"Understood?" He asked once more with a forceful tone.

Aelora nodded.  She had to admit to herself he truly did care about her.  Then again, he could simply be interested in her scientifically.  When she exited the examination room she found Terann patiently waiting for her.  Without a word to the Minbari, Aelora continued on out of the MedLab, not bothering to glance to her right as Terann hurriedly caught up to her, moving along beside her.

The trip to the living area went relatively uneventful.  In a way, Terann wished they had come across at least one Narn during the walk, just so she could gauge Aelora's reaction and know what to expect in the future.  As it was, any beings they did encounter, the Human seemed blessedly unaware of. It was almost as if she had climbed back into that private world she had created for herself, protecting her from the presence of others.  The Minbari could not acknowledge if this was helpful or harmful to Aelora.  She wished very much that the Human would open up to her, at least make an attempt at loosing the demons that raged within her soul. 

"Well here we are," Terann said as she stopped before the door.  "Brace yourself.  It is not exactly a palace."

Aelora stepped over the threshold, glancing around the tiny quarters with only the slightest interest.  There was a pallet and dresser on one side of the room, a bed and dresser on the other, a tiny couch and table in the center and a small kitchenette in the back.  Just to the foot of the bed was a door that led to the bathroom.  The small space was overly crowded with furniture so that it would be difficult to maneuver in without running into things and knocking them about.  It would have been a comfortable living space for one.  Two inhabitants made it another matter, altogether.

"I almost got you a pallet," Terann commented as she moved past Aelora to the kitchenette.  "But I figured you might be more comfortable with a bed."

"It beats dirt," Aelora replied dryly.

Terann let the remark pass.  "Are you hungry?  You have never had my flarn."

Aelora shook her head in the negative, walking over to the edge of her bed where she sat down.

For a moment, Terann wondered if it were possible to cut through the tension in the room with a knife.  She attempt to concentrate on other things but it was practically impossible with the Human in the room.  She was projecting her emotions out like a blast of heat from a fire.  Her thoughts were scrambled, her brain in constant activity, her presence seeming to scream out to be noticed.  She had grown so accustomed to Aelora's abilities having a balm-like effect against her own that the change was disconcerting.  She could not still the worry that the Human would never again regain the use of her psi powers, hiding them away forever in fear. 

Terann spent the rest of the evening preparing herself some dinner, meditating and reading some histories of Minbar before finally deciding to get some sleep.  Aelora had said nothing in the space of three hours, continuing to sit on the edge of her bed; staring off at something only she could see.  The Minbari watched her for a long moment before quietly suggesting:

"You should get some sleep, Aelora.  I am going to bed now."

The Human looked at her as if she had forgotten she was there before finally nodding.  "Yes.  Of course.  Goodnight, Terann."

The Minbari smiled.  "Good night, Aelora."

Aelora lay back across the bed, still dressed in her clothes, pulling at the wig to make certain it had remained in place.  Terann called for the lights out and as darkness descended across the room, Aelora felt the fear creep over her.  She grasped at the bedcover, clenching her eyes shut as tightly as she could manage.  If she closed her eyes and pretended the lights were really on, there was nothing to fear.  But the silence and the darkness pervaded leaving her with no escape.  Her breathing became short, quick gasps as the terror continued to consume her.  It was too dark.  She was too alone.  At any moment now they would begin to appear, reaching out for her, their cruel hands tearing at her clothing and skin.  She could feel their hot breath against her face, hear their mocking laughter as they poked and grabbed at her.  They crowded around her, suffocating her with their nearness, pressing into her.  Aelora struggled against them, crying out as their cruelty increased.

"Aelora!  Aelora wake up!"

The Human fought against the arms that wrapped around her, wailing in fury and fear.

"Aelora, it is Terann.  You are safe."

Aelora blinked, focusing on the hovering visage of her friend whose expression clearly marked her concern.  She realized the arms she felt were the Minbari's, holding her gently in a comforting embrace.

"You were having a nightmare."

"I hadn't realized I had fallen asleep," Aelora commented with a frown.  "It was too dark... I was too alone."

"You are not alone, Aelora," Terann said, sitting on the mattress beside her, tucking her legs underneath herself.  "You will never be alone."

"I know."  Aelora looked at the Minbari, her eyes filled with uncertainty.  "And perhaps that is what frightens me the most."

Terann wanted to ask her friend why she so feared her abilities but then thought better of it.  She could tell the Human needed rest, that maybe she had been released from MedLab too quickly.  She wondered what kind of sleep Aelora had truly gotten since her captivity. Would she ever really sleep comfortably again?

"I will stay with you while you sleep if you would like?"

Aelora thought it over and found her fears overriding the anger and resentment she still felt toward the Minbari who called herself a friend.  She was supposed to be thankful for her rescue, but could not find happiness in her existence to do so.  She was supposed to believe that Terann's coming to save her somehow negated the truths that her friend had kept from her, yet could not quite fathom what one had to do with the other.  Time and again she was discovering that those she most trusted had repaid her with betrayal.  But her mind reasoned that at the moment, it did not matter.  If she wanted to be angry with Terann, she could do so in the morning, after she had rested and regained her strength.  The other female's presence did provide a balm to her fears, just by her very nearness.  It was a soothing effect that for the last few weeks had eluded her. 

Aelora finally nodded her acquiescence and Terann leaned back against the bed frame, adjusting herself so that Aelora could lay her head against her shoulder.  It took a few minutes but she finally felt the Human relax and her breathing slow and grow deeper.  This was the closest that Terann had ever been with anyone besides Neroon and the warmth of another body so close to hers brought back the memory of her time with him tenfold.  She tried to ignore the emotions, tried to push them from her mind but her heart refused to listen.  Until Neroon, she had never allowed another to become so close to her, remaining cold and distant with all of those she came into contact with.  Except Aelora.  From the moment she had met Aelora, she had known the Human and her were somehow connected and there was no running from what “could be”.  Only continual circumstance had kept their friendship from growing and blossoming. Circumstance and secrecy.  Unfortunately the relationship with Neroon had come as a complete surprise to her, and she hated surprises.  Its end had been inevitable but that did not mean it hurt any less. 

She closed her eyes, reaching out to touch Aelora's mind gently, pleased to see that the Human was already asleep.  It was a good sign.  Even though Aelora refused to admit it, her subconscious obviously still trusted Terann.  Truthfully, the Minbari could not blame her for the fear of believing in others.  She wondered if the situations had been reversed, would she ever be able to trust anyone again?  The answer came back quickly: No.  Though their past plights differed, Terann knew the only being she would still entrust her life to was currently asleep in her arms.  Trust was a frightening gift to offer.  It did not come easily to creatures of suspicious nature, something which both Terann and Aelora were guilty of.  When that faith was betrayed, no matter on what level, it was difficult to give back. 

It was an hour before Terann finally joined Aelora in slumber and by then her thoughts were so focused on Neroon that it was no surprise to her when he appeared in her dreams.  So focused was she on his nearness and warmth, the joy of having him with her once more, she did not notice the other presence that hovered in the background, sharing her every emotion, her happiness and fears, feeling the desire that coursed through her at his touch.  She allowed the dream to consume her, falling into its wake and wrapping it around her like a soothing blanket...

 

“I am so glad you are here,” Terann told him as she pressed herself against his hard form.  “I have missed you very much.”

“Do you really think I would take you back?”  Neroon taunted, setting her away from him.  “You are an impurity, an abomination to the Minbari race!  A universal mistake.”

“No, Neroon!”  Terann pleaded.  “Please do not say those things.  You do not mean them!”

“That I actually allowed myself to lie with you sickens and disgusts me.  It is a shame that I must forever hide from others.”

“Neroon, please!  Please do not send me away again.  I’ll do anything that you ask.  I will pledge my fealty to Shakiri if that is what you wish.”

“Anything?  You could exterminate the entire Human race and it would not matter to me,” he spat at her.  “I should have killed you when I had the chance.” 

She fell, sobbing, to her knees before him, caring nothing for her pride or dignity, when everything she loved had been so cruelly taken from her.  “Then take that chance now, Neroon!” She begged.  “For I have nothing left!  I do not want to be alone anymore.  Death would be far preferable to this existence.”

Neroon smiled cruelly.  “Which is exactly why I do not give it.”

Terann broke down then, weeping out her anger, frustration and fears.  She felt cold, numbness consuming her as the sobs continued to rack her body.  She felt the loss of his presence as if it were a palpable thing, ripping from her soul, tearing away at any portion of her that held substance or meaning.  She felt naked and vulnerable, curling herself into a fetal position there on the floor, not caring where she was or that time was passing or even that she was lost in a dream world where only her own merciless imagination could haunt her. 

It was the sound of nearby screams that finally pulled Terann back to her surroundings.  She lifted her head, wiping the tears from her eyes to find that she no longer lay within the bright, empty room that she remembered.  The floor beneath her was no longer composed of white marble but cold dirt.  The walls around her indicated those of a cavern.  The more she glanced around, the more she realized the place was familiar to her.  Narn.  She was back on Narn, where Aelora had been held in captivity.

Climbing to her feet, Terann followed the sound of the screams, Aelora’s screams.  Briefly it occurred to her that she was sharing Aelora’s nightmare.  Even though she walked and thought as herself, she could feel Aelora’s fear as if it were her own; could smell the breath of her captors as they closed around her, their rough hands biting into her skin.  When she finally found the Human, the Narns that hovered around her appeared as little more than ghosts to Terann’s eyes.  But to Aelora, they were as real as if she were still within their midst.  Just as Terann now stood there, living Aelora’s nightmare with her, she knew the Human had observed her own pain with Neroon.

“Aelora,” she called out.  “Aelora, they are not real.”  She paused and her friend’s screams continued.  “Aelora, I cannot make them go away for you.  You must do that yourself.  Make them go away, Aelora.  Forget about them.”

Slowly, the images of the Narns disappeared.  Aelora’s sobs ceased and she looked up at the Minbari as if slowly waking from a powerful stupor.  “Terann?”

The Minbari nodded.

Aelora stood and rushed to her, throwing herself against her friend as her sobs spilled forth.  “I was so frightened!”

“I know,” Terann soothed, wrapping her arms around the Human and holding her as she cried.  “But there is nothing to fear now, I am here.”

Aelora quieted growing silent for a moment before whispering, “There is no need to feel alone now.  I am here.”

The Minbari allowed her friend’s words to comfort her as they were meant to.  It was true; neither of them was alone, not really, not when the other was there.  Certainly, they had a difficult friendship; they saw the universe from different angles and dreamed different dreams but in the end they were both females who really had no home, no family and great abilities beyond their comprehension.  Their meeting had been no mistake.  They needed each other, mentally, emotionally and physically. 

And so there was no hesitation or questioning as Terann cupped Aelora’s face gently in her hands and pressed her lips to the Humans.  Aelora responded to the touch, her embrace around her friend tightening, drawing her closer.  Tentatively, Terann’s tongue snaked out, tracing the outline of Aelora’s mouth until the Human parted her lips, offering entrance.  Their tongues met and intertwined in an ancient form of worship as their breathing accelerated, their heartbeats pounding in synch.  Their surroundings melted away until it was just the two of them amidst a bright void, where their souls had come to escape from the outside world, where they could join with one another without fear of recrimination or rejection.

            Terann’s hands moved over Aelora cautiously, knowing that the Human still suffered from fear of what had been done to her at the hands of the Narns.  Terann wanted to reassure her that being with another physically did not mean punishment or pain; she found she wanted to give pleasure to Aelora as much as she needed to receive it herself.  When she felt the Human jump as her hand brushed against her breast, Terann cast: Do not fear me, my friend.  I wish no more from you than your trust.  We need each other.  You know that.      

            Aelora stilled, allowing Terann’s hands to move over her body, forcing herself to focus on the sensations that boiled in her blood instead of the fear that gripped her heart.  She moved into the Minbari’s touch, thinking how different it felt from a male’s touch.  It was softer and yet bolder, as if Terann knew exactly how much pressure could be exerted without pain and what movements caused the greatest feeling of pleasure.  Aelora had never contemplated being intimate with another female before and yet found she accepted it as if it were second nature.  No, that was not right.  Not just any female.  Terann.  Terann knew her as well as she knew herself and visa versa.

            She uttered a soft sigh as Terann pushed past the opening of her blouse, her palm flattening across Aelora’s breast, teasing the nipple with her finger nails until it hardened into a tight bud.  Growing bolder through Aelora’s acceptance, Terann pulled the shirt off of her, tossing it to the side, allowing her gaze to roam over the Human.  It fascinated her that they seemed so similar and yet there were so many minute differences between them.  She trailed her fingers over Aelora’s skin, studying the small, fine hairs that covered it, noting that the skin was so thin and transparent that the Human’s veins could be clearly seen, pumping her blood throughout her body.  Against her skin, Terann’s appeared alabaster in color, so starkly different as to not be organic in construction.  Reaching out, Terann unbuckled Aelora’s pants, gently sliding them down her long legs as she dropped to her knees, again carefully examining each inch of the being before her that was so very different yet entirely familiar.  She ran her fingers through the red curls at the apex of Aelora’s thighs, wondering what caused the slight differences in evolution between their two races.  She placed a kiss on the inside of Aelora’s thigh before trailing her nails down the back of her knees, causing the Human’s legs to tremble.  Terann smiled, thinking what power individuals’ could hold over one another with a simple touch – be it cruel or enjoyable.  She reached up and took Aelora’s hand in hers, tugging on it gently, signaling that she should join her.

            Aelora dropped to her knees in front of Terann, allowing her friend to take on the roll of aggressor.  Inside, she still fought the fear of allowing another to touch her, to be so vulnerable and unprotected.  

            Terann opened the closures on her uniform, stilling in pleasant surprise as Aelora brushed her hands away, taking over.  As the Human moved her hands down the front of the uniform, pulling delicately at each clasp, she allowed her fingertips to tease against Terann’s skin lightly, moving leisurely until the Minbari felt she would scream out with frustration.  She caught Aelora’s teasing laughter in her mind and vowed to pay her back at her own game. 

            When they both knelt naked before one another, they paused, observing one another.  Terann was the first to move, taking Aelora’s hand in her own and pressing it to her breast.  Trust, she cast.  Feel.  Forget, if only for a moment.

            Aelora responded by leaning over and taking the small nipple into her mouth, drawing on it softly at first and then increasing her pressure as Terann pushed against her, a low moan issuing from her throat.  Her hand moved over to Terann’s other breast, teasing the nipple while she continued to suckle on its twin as the Minbari wriggled against her.  She moved from one to the other, pleasuring them both, wondering if Terann felt the same sensations that she did and then realizing that she did.  The knowledge motivated Aelora as the need came to her to be the one to cause her friend to reach that ultimate pinnacle. 

            But the Minbari was not ready for Aelora to take control just yet.  With gentle force, she pushed against the Human’s shoulders, making her lay back against the cool, hard floor.  She ran her fingers over the edge of Aelora’s breastbone then cupped a full breast in her palm, teasing the nipple with her thumb before bending down and taking it into her mouth.  She brushed it with her tongue before nipping at it lightly, allowing Aelora’s feelings of excitement to course through her.  She moved her mouth down the Human’s body, her tongue lapping over her stomach and the fine hairs of her skin, her hands caressing each part of her as she moved.  She paused at the juncture of Aelora’s thighs to glance up at her, noticing the slight sheen of perspiration that covered her body. 

            No more pain, Aelora.  But you have to want this.  Once we have reached this point –

            I do, Terann.  Please.  Make the ghosts go away.

            Terann parted the folds and took her with her mouth, laving with her tongue while Aelora moved against her, soft moans issuing from her throat.  The Minbari clasped her hips in her hands, lifting Aelora toward her, capturing the already swollen nub between her lips and sucking on it greedily.  Lifting Aelora’s legs over her shoulders so that she had more freedom, Terann slid a finger along the warm, wet cleft, stroking her softly. 

            Aelora gave up trying to remain passive.  She dug her nails deeply into the Minbari’s shoulders as her head slashed from side to side, guttural cries emanating from her.  She saw herself standing at the edge of a canyon, staring down into the abyss as the wind whipped around her, filling her ears and head with its powerful strength.  The closer she got to the edge, the more fantasy and reality began to collide and she knew she was no longer Human but a great beautiful bird that could leap from the precipice and soar through the clouds.  The invisible chains that bound her fell away and she leapt from the spot, crying out as the wind wrapped her in it’s grasp, pulling her away from the stable, safe ground and sending her soaring.  She glided on the air for what seemed an eternity before the wind pulled from her, sending her falling back into the abyss.

            It was Terann’s gentle kisses that saved her from remaining in the void.  She tasted herself on the Minbari’s lips and wept at the knowledge that soon this would all be over.  Fantasy was fleeting and reality forever.

            Terann licked at her friend’s salty tears, feeling the rush of pain and desire and fear and beauty that swept from the Human.  She covered the soft body with her own, enjoying the simple sensation of breast against breast, their legs intertwining.  Aelora’s hands stroked over her back, soothing the areas where her nails had dug into the flesh, moving across her hips and to the front of her thighs where they paused.  The Human and Minbari kissed deeply for the next few moments.  Aelora’s hand moved to cup the soft, smooth flesh between the Minbari’s thighs.  She pressed the ball of her hand firmly into the pelvic bone as Terann grinded against her.  With her middle finger, she pressed between the folds, rubbing against the nub as Terann sat up, straddling her and providing her with more maneuverability.  Aelora’s thumb took the place of her middle finger while the longer appendage slid deeper.  Terann moved against her, her body’s rhythm matching that of Aelora’s fingers.  Reaching between them, her fingers took the Human in a similar manner and they moved together, their bodies and souls spiraling together in a torrent of emotion and bliss that exceeded anything either had ever felt.

            Together they soared off of the precipice, freedom and beauty before them as far as their hearts could see.  They clasped to one another, living the experience each through the other as they tumbled toward the ground that rushed to meet them, the reality and pain that both feared facing.

            Aelora.  Terann reached out for her friend but found that she was beginning to fade and panic consumed her.  No!  Her mind screamed as reality set in.

      They all faded so quickly from her…

 

Aelora sat up quickly, pulling out of the Minbari’s embrace, her face flushing with the memory of the dream that had just consumed her.  She turned, expecting to find Terann sleeping silently but instead, her friend lay there, regarding her with a mixture of uncertainty and… longing?

            Thinking that Aelora already understood what had just occurred between them, Terann rushed to explain.  “I am sorry, Aelora.  I did not think – I mean, I had heard it could occur but I never knew – I did not realize – “

            “What are you talking about, Terann?”  Aelora asked though realization quickly began to set in.  Her brow furrowed and she fixed the Minbari with a level stare.  “The dream – you had it too.”

            “It can happen between telepaths,” Terann told her hurriedly, reaching out to touch her shoulder reassuringly.  “When telepaths sleep touching one another, they can share dreams, experience the same things, act out a different reality together, shape things as they wish –“

            Aelora pulled away from her touch, standing.  Her green eyes flashed with a fury that caused Terann to lean back, searching for an escape from the wrath she felt projecting from the Human.

            “You took advantage of me!”  Aelora spat, her fists balled at her sides.  “In your need to punish Neroon for pushing you away – for no longer wanting to touch you – you decided to use me to mend your broken pride!”

            “No it was not like that!”  Terann argued, rising to her feet.  “Please, Aelora.  Understand that what happens in dreams between two telepaths can not be –“

            “Don’t feed me more of your lies!”  Aelora screamed at her, reaching out to slap the Minbari hard across the face.  “You know my vulnerability!  You know my fear!  You took advantage of both!  You are no better than those creatures that assaulted me – shamed me – on Narn!”

            Terann’s anger took over instantly and without thinking she mentally shoved Aelora, wincing as the Human flew backwards against the table.  “How dare you!”  The Minbari hissed.  “What we just shared would normally be considered beautiful, a binding of our souls!  And it was something that happened because we both wanted it to, Aelora!  I know what happened to you was terrible and it is something that will haunt your nightmares forever but you cannot continue to hold yourself on some pedestal, believing yourself so far above the rest of us –“

            “Excuse me?”  Aelora interrupted, taking a step back toward the Minbari, her expression incredulous.  “You are the one who holds herself in such great esteem, thinking that just because she was dumped that it has to be some universal injustice against her and not just because Neroon would prefer to be balling somebody else!”

            Terann’s eyes narrowed dangerously.  “Now I understand why Delenn never told you about Valen.  She was right.  You are not worthy of being his child.”

            The Minbari regretted the words the moment she said them, watching as before her the Human seemed to dissolve into nothing.  The despair that flashed across Aelora’s face ripped at Terann and she immediately made a move to apologize but could not find the appropriate words.

            Aelora could only subtly shake her head.  “That was low, Terann,” she whispered.  “Even for you.”

            With that the Human turned and dashed out the door and down the corridor.

 

 

 

 

            Early the next morning, Aelora still had not returned to their quarters and Terann’s fear for her friend – and the consequences of the argument between them – grew.  She had not slept anymore that night, her thoughts and emotions keeping her from regaining her slumber.  Instead, she had spent the hours reconstructing her time on Minbar and the loss of Neroon’s love.  Though she could never admit it to anyone, Terann found that the Warrior consumed her thoughts more and more every day.  It was as if the more she came to realize that there would never be a chance for them, the more she found herself wishing it were not true.  With every passing day, she found herself torn between hating Neroon for not accepting who she was and hating herself for not being who he wanted her to be.  She realized that what happened between her and Aelora in their dream stemmed from her desire – need? – to be accepted. 

            Stopping as she paced by the mirror, Terann paused to gaze at her reflection.  She found herself wondering if the Vorlon part of her were visible to the trained eye.  Had she been completely Minbari, would her appearance have been different?  Perhaps her eyes would have been a different color or her gaze not so direct.  Maybe it would have been visible in her stance and how she carried herself or her voice would not have been as strong, or maybe it would have been stronger.  And what would her life have been like, had she been born without her telepathic abilities, raised completely within the Warrior Caste and accepted by those around her?  Would she be married and have a family?  And what would have been the chances of her obtaining Neroon as her lifemate?  Terann sighed and moved away from the mirror.  Again, Neroon.  It always came back to Neroon.

            The chime of the door pulled Terann from her reverie and she hurried toward it, hoping that Aelora had returned.  When the door opened to reveal G’Kar, she felt an odd mixture of relief and disappointment.

            “G’Kar.  Good morning.”

            “Terann.”  He stepped into the room as she moved back, glancing around.  “I have come to see how Aelora is doing.”

            Terann rubbed her hands together nervously for a moment before moving past him toward the center of the room.  “Not very well I am afraid.”

            “What is wrong?”  His gaze took in the extent of the small quarters.  “Where is she?”

            “We… we had a bit of an argument last night and she left.  She has not returned.”

            “What?”  The Narn advanced on her angrily.  “What do you mean she left?  You let her just walk out of here?  Is this your idea of protection?”

            Terann narrowed her gaze.  “Do not direct your anger at me, G’Kar.  Aelora is still behaving quite irrationally.  Yes, I was wrong in allowing the argument to escalate but I am not her keeper.  I believe that is what you asked your friend Ta’Lon to be, if I am not mistaken?  Or is he not up to the challenge?”

            G’Kar regained his composure and backed away.  “I am sure he is with her now.  I have no worry that he will protect her.  What I do not understand is how you can be so calm about her disappearing so shortly after her release from MedLab.  She is not yet recovered, Terann.”

            “I know that, G’Kar,” she replied.  “Trust me, I have spent the entire night considering that.  But if there is one constant about Aelora, no matter what trials she has faced, it is her obstinacy.  I could not keep her here had I tied her down.”

            G’Kar allowed a small smile.  “Yes.  As infuriating as it is, it is one of the traits I most admire about her.”

            Terann sighed and moved over to the Narn, placing her hand on his arm.  “I am sorry, G’Kar.  I can only imagine how difficult this must be for you.  The both of you keep coming so close and yet… “  She shook her head.  “This would all be so much simpler if we could simply mindwipe her.”

            G’Kar’s head snapped up at her words and he fixed his gaze on the Minbari as she moved away toward the tiny kitchenette.  “Mindwipe?”

            Terann nodded absently.  “The process is used on criminals and the emotionally distraught all over the galaxy.  Different practices for different species.”

            “A mindwipe,” G’Kar said softly, his thoughts whirring with the possibilities.  If every moment of her captivity on Narn could be struck from her mind, then Aelora would be left with only the memories of her confession to him on Centauri Prime and the Kyra’s betrayal.  She would be free to love him without fear or the haunting nightmares.  Hope flowed through him at the idea and a smile lit across his face.  “Terann, that is it!  You must do it immediately!”

            “Huh?”  The Minbari glanced up from the pot of tea before her.  She glanced at him quizzically.  “Do what?”

            “A mindwipe!”  The Narn’s excitement permeated the room.  He hurried over to her side.  “Take away all her memories of what happened to her on Narn, make her… make her think that you simply rescued her form her imprisonment on Centauri Prime and then everything will be perfect!  She will not have anything more to fear!”

            “Oh, G’Kar.”  Terann shook her head and moved away from him.  Wrapping her arms around herself, she walked absently around the confined area for a moment, thinking how best to phrase her reply.  Finally, she turned to face him, her gaze steady.  “It is more complicated than that, G’Kar.  There are certain rules a telepath – any telepath – must abide by and such an action as what you ask goes against them all.”

            “She is in pain, Terann,” G’Kar insisted.  “This could save her life!  Certain rules do not apply when a life is at stake.”

            “Your love for her is clouding your judgment.”

            “I am of the belief it makes it clearer.”

            She sighed.  “G’Kar, I can not blithely invade her mind, steal her memories and then go on as if everything were fine.  She is my friend!  That is betrayal at its highest level.”

            “Would you not want her to do the same for you if you had suffered what she has?”  He demanded.

            Terann considered the question for a moment.  Finally, she replied, “No, I would not.”

            “You lie!”

            “Minbari do not lie.”  She smiled sadly.  “Call it pride if you must but I would rather learn to face my demons, to overcome them and gain strength from my achievement than be given the easy way out.  I believe that if asked, Aelora would give you the same answer.  There is an Earth saying that which does not kill us makes us stronger.  I sometimes wonder if those are not the most intelligent words ever spoken by a Human.  Try to understand, G’Kar, to purposely steal Aelora’s memories from her, no matter how bad they may be, is simply wrong.  There is no justification for it.  It would make us no better than the Kyras, who based her entire childhood on lies.”

            “I do not agree,” G’Kar argued.  “The situation is different.”

            The Minbari sighed.  This was a topic she did not even wish to discuss and silently cursed herself for even mentioning it.  While she could see G’Kar’s point of view, could understand why he would latch onto the idea so tenaciously, she still could not agree that it was the best course of action.  If Aelora were to ever discover such a deception were performed, she would never forgive either of them and she doubted that was a consequence that G’Kar would want.  She said as much to him.

            He turned away at her comment, unable to form a suitable reply.  While he could conceive of all she was saying, he still felt that mindwiping Aelora would be best for all of them.  To keep Aelora from pain, to remove her fears and terror, to give her back her self-respect would be worth it, even if in the end he were to lose her.  G’Kar turned back to Terann, his jaw set.  “I would sacrifice anything to assure Aelora’s happiness.”

            Terann shook her head.  “There are some things I simply can not do, G’Kar.  And this is one of them.”

            “Then I will get another telepath!”

            “You would not be able to find one strong enough,” she stated.  “Please, G’Kar, forget this conversation.  The only way we can help Aelora is to provide her with enough strength and understanding to get her through this.  Other than that, she is on her own.”

            G’Kar appeared ready to argue then seemed to give in and Terann found herself releasing a mental sigh of relief.  No wonder G’Kar admired Aelora’s stubbornness – he had plenty of his own. 

            “I can not stand around and simply do nothing,” G’Kar commented in a hushed tone.

            “I know.”  Terann stepped forward, placing a comforting hand on his arm once more.  “But sometimes nothing is all any of us can do.” 

 

  

 

 

 

As she made her way to the ambassadorial wing, Terann recalled a Human phrase she had once heard about delaying the inevitable.  Still angry over Delenn's stubborn refusal to inform her caste of the use of telepaths against the Shadows, she had put off meeting with the Ambassador for over two standard weeks.  Delenn had left her several messages, telling her of her desire to speak with her, all of which Terann ignored.  Finally, Delenn's aide, Lennier, had sought her out, telling her of Delenn's request.  Needing to speak with Delenn herself and unable to make an appropriate excuse, Terann finally agreed to meet with her later that afternoon.  She found it odd that she would dread meeting with Delenn.  They had known each other too long, been through unimaginable things together, had trusted only each other when it seemed their entire world was against them.  Yet now, standing outside her door, she hesitated.  Silently she chastised herself for doing so, before ringing the chime, signaling her presence.

The door swished open almost instantly, and Terann took a deep breath before crossing over the threshold.  Catching sight of the Minbari/Human hybrid, Terann inclined her head slightly, offering a respectful greeting.

"Terann," Delenn greeted with a smile.  "It is good to see you."

"And you as well," Terann forced.  Given the favor she needed to ask of the Minbari Ambassador, Terann knew it was important to remain pleasant. 

Delenn gestured for Terann to take a seat in one of the chairs across from her own place on the sofa.  Once both were seated she continued.  "How is Aelora?"

"It has been difficult," she told her, fumbling absently at her hands, the sting of the fight she had had with the Human still fresh in her mind.  "One moment I believe there is hope and the next..."

"She will need time," Delenn reassured.

"That is what Doctor Franklin tells me, but when I recall everything that she has been through, I wonder if this is true."

"Perhaps I should speak with her..."

Terann shook her head.  "I do not believe that would be wise.  She is angry with all of us, for hiding the truth about her father, for not believing in her.  I fear we are just as guilty of destroying the person she was as those who had imprisoned her."

Delenn nodded her acceptance of this, remaining silent for several moments.  Finally:  "How have you been?"

Terann worried her lip for a moment almost thoughtfully.  "I do not know.  I did not expect to live through the battle at Corianus, had accepted this, and now everything seems so uncertain."

"Have you given any thought to what you would like to do?"

"There is little I can do," Terann confessed.  "I am not wanted on Minbar..."

"I had heard... I am sorry."

"For a race that prides itself on maintaining privacy, rumors certainly circulate quickly," the telepath commented dryly.  "Which did you hear?"

“Several actually,” Delenn replied.  “Most say Shakiri confronted you, telling you he intended to inform all of Minbar of the truth, and that you threw yourself on his mercy, telling him that you would do anything, turn your back on the Vorlons and your obligations here, whatever he asked to keep your heritage secret.”

Terann rose to her feet, moving about the room, clenching her fists at her sides.  It was not the first time she had heard this version of the truth, but to hear it from Delenn hurt beyond comprehension.  “Do you believe this?”  She asked finally, her voice low.

“No,” came the simple reply.  “Oh I believe Shakiri confronted you.  I also believe he asked you to turn your back on your responsibilities in the Shadow War and swear your undying loyalty to him, in exchange for his silence.  And I believe that you refused his offer.”

“Then you are in the minority,” Terann commented coldly.

“No, Terann,” Delenn said, rising to meet the warrior.  “Both the Religious and Worker castes are reluctant to trust anything Shakiri says.  The Warrior Caste is out of control…”

“You have no idea,” Terann said, turning away once again.

“What do you mean?” Delenn asked narrowing her eyes.

The telepath began moving about the room wondering how much she should truly reveal.  Certainly she had scanned Shakiri, learning his ambitions, but were they anything more than that?  One could aspire to certain things, even to the point of obsession, but to enact such things… this was something else completely.  Then again, Shakiri was a Wind Sword, and they were not exactly known for their level temperaments.  The only thing she currently had going for her, and against her, was that she knew of his intent.  He would be cautious, that much was certain.  He also knew she had no true allegiances to any one caste, meaning she could easily spread word of his plans throughout Minbar.  With so much animosity towards the Warrior Caste already present in the rest of Minbari society, her impurity would be quickly overlooked.  This could however force his hand, urging Shakiri to act much sooner than he would otherwise. 

Terann rubbed her hand over her eyes, knowing she could reason the entire situation until the Drazi reached First One status and still have no idea what to do.  To tell Delenn may cause Shakiri to panic, to keep it a secret may buy Shakiri the time he needs to destroy their world.   Glancing back at the Ambassador, she decided to err on the side of caution, placing all her faith in Delenn’s discretion.

“How much do you know of goings on back home?” 

Not certain what Terann was hinting at, Delenn’s brow furrowed.  “As much as I can.  The Rangers report much of what they see and hear, but with the Council gone each caste has taken to attending to their own affairs.”  She then paused; knowing there was much Terann was not telling her.  “Is there something…?”

“I scanned him, Delenn!”  She blurted finally.   

“Shakiri?!” She said, a look of dread crossing over her face.  “Terann, you know…”

“Of course I know Delenn, I have had it driven into my head since I was barely able to speak.  But I had to know.”  She took a deep breath, collecting her thoughts and settling back on the sofa.  Once Delenn was seated across from her, she continued.  “He confronted me with the truth, told me it would remain a secret, so long as I swore my unwavering loyalty to him.  He seemed… anxious, as if this was more than a simple request.  So I asked him, then demanded, finally I scanned him.  I needed to know Delenn, needed to know why he so desperately wanted my loyalty, and now I wish I did not.”

Delenn leaned forward, placing her hand on Terann’s arm, noticing the tears that lingered in the corners of the Warrior’s eyes.  “What did you learn, Terann?”

“He will destroy us, Delenn,” she managed finally.  “Anyone who opposes him; opposition to the wisdom of the Warrior Caste will be eliminated, until nothing is left.  Everything we worked for, everything we learned from Valen, all of it will be lost.  We will turn back over a thousand years, to a time when Minbari killed Minbari.”

Appearing visibly disturbed by what Terann had just told her Delenn asked, “And this is why he wanted your help?”

The young woman nodded.  “He wanted me to help him, wanted me to use my abilities against my own kind, believing my fear of the truth would ensure my complaisance.”  

Delenn sighed deeply, clearly organizing her own thoughts around what Terann had just told her.  The telepath had broken several ancient laws by questioning Shakiri about his intentions, and then had gone even further by scanning him.  She had completely ignored her castes’ chain of command, had invaded the mind of her Shai Alyt and then presented the information to her.  And now Delenn questioned what it was she should do with the knowledge imparted to her.  For the briefest of moments she wondered if she could even trust Terann.  Apart from having spent a great deal of time among her own caste she had also been very close to the Vorlons.  But this was Terann, raised and loved like a daughter by Dukhat, served the Council for most of her life and most importantly, she had been a friend.  How could she not trust her now?  Yet at the back of her mind, something nagged.  Whether it was general unwillingness to accept anything learned during a telepathic scan at face value, or her own naïve belief that her people, regardless of caste, were incapable of the things Terann had described, she was not sure.  All she did know was that she was not quite ready to fully accept all that Terann was telling her. 

Sensing that Terann’s emotions were barely in check, Delenn chose her words carefully.  “Are you certain you can believe what you saw in his mind?  You have been through considerable in the past few months, perhaps…”

Terann nodded.  “I know what you are saying Delenn, and I would be lying if I said your concerns are not justified.  Telepathic scans are always subjective, colored by emotion, making it difficult to discern what is real and what is not.  But I was trained by the Vorlons, taught what to believe and what not to believe.  I have reasoned this out in my mind since I left Minbar, wondering if this is nothing more than paranoia.  But, Delenn, everything within me tells me to trust my instincts, to trust in my abilities.  Whether you choose to act or not is up to you, and I will respect and honor whatever decision you make.  But I cannot allow myself to sit idly by as he destroys our people.”

“But the voice of one, Terann, no matter how powerful, cannot motivate those who refuse to act.  I know you became close to Neroon during the time the Ingata was here for repairs, have you spoken to him?”

Terann dropped her eyes to her lap, not wanting to raise any questions concerning her relationship with Neroon.  She doubted Delenn knew much, and intended to keep it that way.  What was between herself and Neroon was exactly that — between them – and she would deal with it when the time came.  Affecting a more apathetic expression, Terann replied, “Neroon is loyal to Shakiri, and even more loyal to his caste.  He will abide by his Shai Alyt’s wishes without hesitation or question.”

It was as Delenn suspected.  Aside from Terann, Neroon was the only other within the Warrior Caste who Delenn felt she could trust.  Though they had their differences, Neroon’s devotion to his people was unwavering.  She only hoped he would be able to see past his loyalty to his caste to the needs of his people. His scope of influence and power could easily rival that of Shakiri.  Beyond being a well-respected Warrior he was also a former Satai, something that, if it came down to it, would ensure the allegiance of the rest of his caste. 

Delenn quickly determined that if she decided to act she could not do so with Terann’s help.  The telepath had enough to contend with, and moving against her own caste would only worsen her situation.  She did not doubt Terann’s willingness to stop Shakiri, nor her eagerness to act alone, but alone she could do far less.  No, Delenn would not help Terann destroy what little hope she had left. 

After a long moment of silence, Delenn nodded.  “Very well, Terann.  I will direct some of the Rangers on Minbar, to pay close attention to what is happening.  If it is as you suggest, Shakiri’s plans will not remain secret for long.”

When the young Warrior offered her thanks, Delenn was certain she would take her leave.  When instead she remained, still seated on the sofa, the Ambassador inquired, “Was there something else, Terann?”

In answering, the telepath fought against her remaining dignity, knowing she had no other option.  “I need a job,” she finally said, almost inaudibly.

“I see…”

“Delenn, I would not have come to you if I had any other choice,” Terann explained quickly.  “But I can not return to Minbar, and with the Vorlons gone I have no income.  I have no one else to turn to.”

Delenn considered Terann’s request for a moment, then:  “Have you considered joining the Rangers?  With your military training it would not…”

“I can not, Delenn,” Terann shook her head.  “My caste has forbidden any of us from joining the Anla’shok.”

Her brow furrowing, Delenn replied, “Even after all that Shakiri has done, you would still do as he demands.”

“I will remain loyal to my caste, regardless of who is leading us.”

Still mindful of what Terann had told her, remembering all that she had done for her people throughout her life, and recalling all of what she was forced to endure, Delenn finally nodded.  “Very well, I am certain I can find something for you to do.  I cannot pay you much…”

Terann smiled in relief.  “I do not require much, simply enough to pay for my quarters.”

“Then it is done,” Delenn smiled, rising to her feet with Terann.  They each offered the other a respectful parting then the Ambassador watched as the door slid shut behind the telepath.  Her thoughts raced with all Terann had confided in her, her heart telling her it was nothing more than paranoid delusion, while her mind shivered in fear, knowing it all was true.

 

 

 

 

G’Kar, having no idea where to begin looking for Aelora, made his way mindlessly through the station.  Each time he came to a corner, or new corridor, he allowed his instincts to dictate which path to choose.  His mind told him this was foolhardy, discounting any sense of connection he believed he had with the Human.  But his heart urged him to follow, silently reassuring him that he was correct in doing so.  As he moved, his mind was barely cognizant of where he was, instead his thoughts lingered on the conversation he and Terann had only moments earlier.  Somewhere, deep within him, he understood her reluctance to rewrite Aelora’s memories, but a larger more vocal part of him cursed the Minbari.  She held within her hands, the ability to end Aelora’s suffering, to help her friend in unimaginable ways, yet she hesitated.  The very idea of her obstinacy sent anger raging through him.  Surely she could see all that the removal of such horrid memories would mean to Aelora, whether she was ultimately aware of it or not.  His desire to see the Human free of the nightmare that continued to haunt her went far beyond any consideration he had for his own involvement with her. 

Slowly, within his own thoughts, he twisted the reasoning into blame.  He had heard rumors regarding Terann, things muttered in harsh tones.  Even he had noticed the change in her.  Though he truly did not know the Minbari all that well he had seen the distance in her after her return from her homeworld and after the departure of the Vorlons.  He began to wonder if this was simply a matter of misery wanting company.  Quickly deciding to broach the subject again when he saw Terann again, he refocused his thoughts on finding Aelora.

Aside from the bustle of the Zocalo, the only place he could picture Aelora going was the garden located at the heart of the station.  It had always been one of Aelora’s havens, where she could go and immerse herself in solitude.  Passing quickly through the madness of the marketplace, G’Kar began mentally preparing himself for his imminent encounter with Aelora.

She had not exactly been receptive to his presence during her stay in MedLab, becoming belligerent to completely hostile at the mere sight of him.  Both Doctor Franklin and Terann had assured him that the new medication appeared to be working… at least up until the recent fight with Terann.  He did admit there was much that remained unresolved between the two telepaths, much of which he truly did not know or could not understand.  He knew there was a level of distrust between them and whether that stemmed from their creation at the hands of ancient rivals or not, he did not know.  All he did know was that Aelora needed someone, if only to sit with her and show her that she was not alone.  And he was determined to be that person.

Whenever he entered the immense gardens, G’Kar found himself taking a deep refreshing breath.  To him, it seemed almost as an oasis, a calm within a storm.  Finding Aelora, here between the twisting paths and obscuring beds of flowers from hundreds of worlds, would not be an easy task.  There were hundreds of places she could go, disappearing within the foliage, only to be found when she wanted to be.  For the briefest of moments he considered going back to Terann and asking her to help him in his search, but his anger quickly pushed the desire aside.  Terann had insisted that he leave Aelora in peace, that she wanted to be left alone and had then assured him that should any harm come to the Human, she would be the first to know of it.  G’Kar however could not place much faith in Terann’s ability to safeguard Aelora’s wellbeing.  All throughout Aelora’s torture at the hands of Cartagia, during the pain she had endured at the hands of her adoptive family, to say nothing of all the Sleepers had done to her body Terann had felt nothing, or if she had, had done nothing about it.  And yet now, she expected G’Kar to sit idly by while Aelora’s whereabouts remained unknown. 

The fact that he had not heard from Ta’Lon was all the hope he needed to continue his search.  Had something happened to Aelora, had she somehow come to harm, Ta’Lon would have informed him.  Not once had G’Kar regretted asking the other Narn for his assistance.  On several occasions he had proven himself to be loyal but beyond that he had shown how easily he could blend in, fading into the background so that not even one as suspicious as Aelora would notice his presence. 

G’Kar hated to deceive Aelora, knew she would be angry if she was aware that Ta’Lon had been following her, but he knew of no other way to safeguard her.  There was no denying that Babylon 5 was enormous, with many places where a person could come to harm.  All too aware of this, the prospect of suffering Aelora’s anger was a risk he happily accepted

G’Kar quickly covered the more used paths, deciding rapidly that it was not there that he would find her.  He then moved towards the heart of the garden, allowing his heart to lead him off the paths, weaving in and out, between shrubs and trees apparently planted at random. 

“I was wondering when you would come.”

The voice pulled G’Kar’s attention towards a large rock nestled between two large native Earth pines where Ta’Lon sat partially obscured from sight.  “Have you seen Aelora?”  He asked, keeping his voice barely above a whisper.

The other Narn nodded, gesturing towards a secondary path that led to a large wildflower garden.  “She has been here for over two hours.”

“Then she has not been here all night?”

“No,” Ta’Lon told him.  “I followed her for several hours as she made her way from one end of the station to the other.”

“Did she suspect your presence?”

“I do not believe so,” he reassured.  “Though there were times when I thought she had.  Truthfully I doubt she noticed anyone or anything around her, she seems upset…”

“She and the Minbari had a fight,” G’Kar explained.

“I see.”  Ta’Lon’s brow furrowed.  “I find it odd that Terann would provoke Aelora.”

“Currently there is much I find odd about the Minbari,” G’Kar commented dryly, his tone advising the other Narn against questioning further.  His quarrel with Terann was between the two of them alone, and if, as he prayed, he could convince the Minbari to perform the mindwipe, then it was in everyone’s best interest to keep knowledge of such a thing private.

When G’Kar started towards the garden where Aelora was, Ta’Lon stretched out a hand, placing it on the other Narns forearm.  “Do you wish for me to stay?”

G’Kar shook his head.  “No.  I thank you, Ta’Lon, but I will watch her for a while.  I will contact you when I require your services again.”

G’Kar watched silently as Ta’Lon departed before moving down the path toward Aelora.  Coming to the clearing he found her sitting silently on the pad of dirt, her legs tucked underneath her frail form.  What skin he could see was deathly pale, the deeper of the bruises still lingered as dark yellowish blotches.  For a long time he simply watched her, debating whether now that he knew she was safe if he should simply leave her.  But something urged him to stay, forcing him forward.

 “Aelora,” he said barely above a whisper.

The young woman turned, her eyes pale and lifeless, rimmed in red lending evidence to her spilled tears. 

When she remained silent, G’Kar spoke again, “I came to see if you were alright.  Terann…”

At the mention of the Minbari’s name, the Human jumped to her feet. “Terann can go to hell!!  You can go to hell!!”  The tears came unbidden, forcing her voice to almost nothing.  “Everyone can go to hell…”

His concern for the Human taking over, G’Kar moved over to her, placing his hands on her shoulders.  The response he received was almost instant.

“Don’t touch me!!”  Aelora shouted in warning, jumping away from him as if exposed to flame.  At the feel of his hands on her all the thoughts of her violations returned to her, the faces of her attackers flashing before her eyes.  As their voices continued to mock her, Aelora once again collapsed to the ground, pressing her face against its cold dampness, seeking comfort from it.  When once again she felt G’Kar’s presence close to her, she did not jump away from him.  To her surprise she found she no longer had the physical strength to do so.  It was as if her body was numb, as if she had some how detached her mind from it.  She wanted to feel alive again, wanted to know the person she had become before leaving for Centauri Prime, the person who had begun to trust and feel secure, wanted to be Aelora again.  But she was afraid, afraid of lowering her defenses, of letting anyone close.  Her thoughts returned to the bitterness between her and Terann, and she felt her body stiffen and recoil from the memory.  How vulnerable she had been, how desperately she needed to feel the security of another, and Terann had betrayed that, effectively raping her as the Narns had.  The only difference had been their brutality.  Where the Narns had violated her physically, using their strength to strip her dignity from her, repeatedly beating and raping her without mercy, Terann had done so mentally, using her strange abilities to flaunt her fragility, abusing her to bury her own pain.  Clenching her hands into weak fists, Aelora had trouble discerning which was worse. 

G’Kar watched the young Human in silence, her body shaking, her soft sobs piercing through his heart.  Everything within him begged to go to her, to take her in his arms and comfort her, show her that she was loved, was protected and would never have harm come to her again.  But reason won out.  He knew she was not ready to be touched by another, even one attempting to comfort her.  So slowly he knelt beside Aelora, staying well enough away so as not to appear threatening. 

“Aelora,” he said gently, drawing her attention, though she did not turn.  “I am here for you, Aelora.  I just want you to know that you are safe.”

Safe?  How could she ever feel safe again?  Everything she had ever believed in, the people she put her faith in -- all of it had been stolen from her.  What did she have left? 

G’Kar!  The realization ripped through her.  For all she had done, despite all her lies and cruelty, he still loved her.  She felt it.  Somehow, even with her abilities effectively gone, she could sense it emanating from him almost tangibly. 

But how could he? Her mind screamed.  After all they had done to her, how they had broken and shamed her body in ways beyond imagination, how could he still want her?  She clenched her eyes shut, drawing her legs up to her chest, silently begging him to leave, all the while her heart crying out for him to stay.  She longed to have the past month wiped from her memory, to simply be the person she had been, and then perhaps she could go to him, wrap herself in his arms and acknowledge the feelings she knew still lay within her.  But with the scars of her ordeal still marring her body and soul, all she saw when she looked at G’Kar was a Narn, someone who would harm her if she dropped her guard if only for a moment. 

Slowly she brought herself to her feet, clenching the fabric of her clothing tightly across her chest.  Backing away, to allow some distance between them, she fixed him with a level stare.  “Why are you here?”  She asked.

G’Kar kept his hands at his sides, his stance relaxed so as not to appear threatening.  “Terann…”

“Terann!” Aelora laughed without humor.  “Terann is a typical lying manipulative Min… no Vorlon!  Just as you are a typical Narn.”  Her courage increasing with every word she took a step towards him.  “I know what your kind is like, G’Kar.  I learned all too well what your race is capable of.  All the while you claim to be a civilized people, yet you remain filthy, perverted animals.”

“You do not mean that, Aelora.”

“Don’t I?”  She scoffed.  “I believe I have enough experience with Narns…”

“Yes, Aelora,” he admitted sadly.  “In that I can agree with you.”

The Human narrowed her eyes.  “I don’t want your pity!”

The Narn shook his head.  “It is not pity, Aelora.  I simply wish you could have come to know my people, my real people.  Not those who harmed you.  I wish you could see past those who prey on the weak, seeking to inflict pain on those who have no way of defending themselves.  Then perhaps you could know me.”

His emotions were so bare that even without her telepathic abilities Aelora felt the urge to step away from him.  “Why G’Kar?  Why do you care?”

Keeping his eyes locked on hers he replied, “Because I love you.”

Her breath caught in her throat at his admission.  It was one thing to have her mind convince her of such things but to hear them voiced by him, to feel the emotions behind his voice, was something quite different.  Once again she felt weak, her head whirling at all that could have been, all that had been robbed from her…  by them, by the Narns. 

She closed her eyes slowly, holding back the tears that had formed once again.  Opening them again she asked, “Why?  I don’t understand, after all that they did…”

G’Kar dared to step towards her, catching her hand in his own.  He felt her stiffen slightly though she did not pull away.  He studied the still bruised appendage, wincing inwardly at all the damage her body had endured.  Despite the injuries her skin was still as soft as he had remembered and he found himself gently caressing the back of her hand with his thumb.  “What they did was horrible Aelora, so horrible that I find myself seething with anger.  But I do not blame you, how could I?  You did not ask for, nor deserve any of it.  Yes they abused you, did things to you beyond imagination.  Yet when I look at you I do not see the cuts and bruises, I see the beautiful young Human I fell in love with.  Perhaps together we can help you see her as well.”

The Human dropped her eyes away from his, afraid to face the emotions projected at her.  A million thoughts raced through her mind, all centered on G’Kar.  In that instant she forgot all that Na’Kar had done to her, all the pain and humiliation melted away with each of G’Kar’s words, replaced by a sense of hope.  Within her she fought heart against mind, one screaming at her that this was what she wanted, while the other cautioned her, told her to be wary, that danger lurked, ready to attack the moment she dropped her guard. 

In the end, it was her fear that won.

She pulled her hand from his, once again moving away from him.  “I am tired,” she said quickly, searching for any excuse to end the conversation.

“I understand, Aelora.”  The Narn nodded, knowing better than to force her into speaking.  “Can I at least walk you to your quarters?”

Reluctantly Aelora nodded, then waited for G’Kar to fall into step beside her.  For the most part they moved in silence, Aelora allowing G’Kar to lead her through the busier parts of the station.  He knew it was among others that she would feel most safe, and did not wish to destroy what little progress they had made. 

Every so often Aelora would cast a sideways glance at her protector, her mind always amazed at his loyalty and devotion to her.  Remaining silent she found her mind traveling slowly back to Centauri Prime, re-witnessing all she had seen and even taken part in.  Her heart grew heavy at the thoughts that formed and the realizations that swept over her.  By what right did she blame him and his entire race for the acts of only a few?  Had he done the same to her regarding his own torture and degradation at the hands of Cartagia?  Almost instantly she felt incredibly selfish.  He had come to her, despite his own pain, and she could only wallow in her own self-pity, not once asking how he was coping with all he had been through.  Part of her wanted to apologize, to attempt to make amends for her own self-absorption but a larger part of her felt too prideful to do so.   So she remained silent, casting only an occasional glance at him, forcing herself to see him as G’Kar and not a Narn capable of so much brutality.

They arrived unscathed to the level of Red Sector where the quarters Aelora shared with Terann were located, giving G’Kar a sense of hope that he really had made some progress with the Human.  Though she had said little to him, keeping her conversation to simple comments about what or whom she saw in the Zocalo, he had noticed that she had begun to relax.  Her back no longer seemed so stiff and her eyes did not move about so rapidly as if seeking out any signs of danger.  Somewhere, beneath the bruises and cuts, he was beginning to see a hint of the Aelora he had come to care for.

Coming to her quarters, G’Kar finally spoke.  “I am glad to have had this time with you, Aelora.”  When she only nodded he added, “Perhaps we could have dinner again…”

“I’m sorry, G’Kar,” she said softly.

“We do not have to right away,” he assured her, not wanting to scare her into pulling away from him again.  “When the time is right, and you feel better…”

Aelora straightened, turning to face him, her gaze cold and unfeeling.  “And what is it you expect to gain from this?”

“Nothing… Aelora you mean a great deal to me.”  He paused; trying to formulate the right words, not knowing it was impossible to do so.  “And I believe, given time, you will see that part of you still feels the same for me.”

Aelora’s eyes widened as his brazenness.  Surely she had admitted things to him on Centauri Prime, things that in her desperation needed to be voiced if only once.  But that was before all the pain and horror she had been forced to endure.  How could he now expect her to feel as she did before, to be able to so easily forget what his people had done… in his name?!  And as she looked at him slowly the person before her melted away until once again she saw only a Narn; a creature capable of unimaginable evil.  Such was the anger she focused upon him that the Narn took a step backwards if only to escape its intensity, and when she spoke her voice was dark, foreboding.  “You wish for me to forget?  To forgive all that has been done to me?  To see you as being unlike those animals who imprisoned me?”

“Aelora… please…” G’Kar beseeched her, but she would have nothing of it.

“Do you see this?”  She asked tearing the fabric of her sleeves from her body, exposing her still swollen and deeply bruised arms.  “Or this?”  She demanded, tearing the wig from her battered scalp.  “Does this mean nothing to you?  It was your kind, your people who did this to me.  Not Humans, not Minbari not even the Centauri are capable of such depravity.  Narns, G’Kar… all of them.  They taunted, and beat, and raped me.  And do you know why?  For you!  All of it!  Every cut, every bruise, every burn, all of it!  And now you expect me to embrace you with open arms?”

“Aelora…” He tried once again to reach her.

“No, Narn!!  Regardless of what I may have felt before, it ends here.” 

The Human then spun around and entered her quarters leaving only a feeling of helpless in her wake.

 

 

 

The silence was heavy in the quarters shared by Aelora and Terann.  Since G’Kar brought the Human back, they had said little to one another.  Terann had apologized for what she had said regarding Aelora’s father, but had left what they had shared in their dreams in silence.  She did not care if Aelora wanted an apology or explanation.  What they had shared had been special; something neither of them should have been ashamed of.  She just could not understand why Aelora could not see that.

Aelora had said nothing in return to Terann’s apology.  Deep in her heart, she knew she should likewise apologize for her cruel words regarding Neroon.  She was not so wrapped up in her own sorrows not to notice that Terann was hurting inside.  But Aelora feared that once she began to apologize, she would never be able to stop.  And was there truly an end to what needed to be said?  For all of the sins that Aelora had committed throughout her life, she could spend an eternity apologizing and begging for forgiveness… a forgiveness that may never come.

And so they remained silent, staying a careful distance from one another, cautious not to do or say anything that would cause further problems.  Terann felt the familiar and powerful pang of loneliness descend over her once more.  She wanted to reach out to Aelora, to talk to her, to share as she never had before but the Human seemed to pull further and further away from her with each passing moment and slowly, Terann began to realize she truly was alone. 

“I am going to buy us something for dinner,” Terann said finally, unable to handle the silence much longer.  “Would you… would you like to come along?”

Aelora shook her head mutely.

Terann sighed.  “Very well.  I… you will be okay alone?”

Again, a silent nod, as the Human continued to watch her suspiciously.

Terann turned, but not before the frustration and pain was evident in her expression.  “I will return shortly then.”

I am sorry, Terann, Aelora thought as the door closed behind the Minbari.  She knew she was causing the Minbari unnecessary pain and hated herself more for doing so.  She found it was difficult to do otherwise though, especially when deep inside, her heart screamed at her to hate everything and everyone around her.  It had been so much easier back when she was younger, when she had viewed the world around her behind sturdy walls, never really caring, never really allowing others to get close to her.  She never had to worry about being hurt or hurting someone else, because she would not allow herself to be in that position and never cared one way or another what others around her felt.

But then she had met her father, and everything began to change.  She found someone who showed her love and understanding and taught her how to care.  And slowly those teachings began to take over, so much so that only a few year’s later, she threw away all of her childhood teachings and beliefs to fall in love with a Narn.  The irony of her life did not escape her.  Her mother cared so much for her that she gave up her life and happiness to protect her, only then to give her over to those who did not care for her in the least.  She found a father who she believed cared for her, who she allowed herself to care for, only to discover he did not care for her enough to tell her the truth.  And lastly, she fought against caring for the one being in the universe who loved her above all others.  And when she finally admitted that she returned that love, she was once more taught the lesson that it was much easier to hate.

This was her lot in life – to bring pain to those she loved.  Perhaps the Vorlons had been right.  The only way to end the suffering, to bring happiness to those she cared for, was if her life was at an end.

Everything touched must die.

The Vorlons were gone but their words remained and always would.  The Shadows were gone, but their legacy would remain… unless Aelora did something about it.

The seed of thought began to germinate in her mind.  She had failed once before; it would not happen again.  Death promised peace, promised silence, promised an escape from the memories, the pain and the humiliation.  More than that, once she was gone, G’Kar would learn to forget about her and move on.  As long as her presence remained, so would his devotion.  In death, she would no longer be able to hurt Terann, saying things she never really meant, blaming her for events that were beyond her control. 

A calm settled over Aelora as she made her decision.  It was the first time she had ever really made a decision on her own, without influence or fear of reproach.  It felt good to know with a certainty what future lay before her.  But she would have to move quickly as Terann would be back soon and would not understand, could not be made to understand that this was for the best.  For a moment, Aelora found herself wanting to leave a message of some sort, telling Terann how much she meant to her, that she forgave her and asked her forgiveness in return, that she loved her and would always be with her.  But time was of the essence and she could not say what needed to be said in a few sentences. 

So she left their quarters without looking back, moving through the station at a rapid pace, not really knowing where she was going but trusting her instincts.  She considered for a moment an airlock but could not figure out how she would open it without assistance.  She could always pay a lurker to help but something could always go wrong, they could suddenly decide to have a conscience and report her.  Aelora knew the MedLab had to have drugs that would kill her with a single dose, but getting to them would be impossible.  If Dr. Franklin saw her anywhere near the place, she would not be able to get away without an explanation.  And then he would send her away, most likely to Earth, where they would lock her up to keep her safe and she would not be able to handle that, not in the least little way. 

As she rounded a corner, Aelora stumbled as a sudden wave of confusion flowed over her.  She fell back against the bulkhead, her vision spinning.  It was as if a blaring of static noise pulsed through her mind.  It filled her ears, consuming her in its wake.  And as its power grew stronger, Aelora began to understand what its presence meant. 

Her psi had returned. 

The voices of a quarter-million inhabitants assaulted her without warning, their thoughts racking through her mind, bringing with them pain and disorientation.  It came on without warning and so overwhelmed her that she could not remember her simple training of how to close it out.  The static continued to grow in volume and degree until it reached out beyond the Epsilon system, allowing more thoughts and emotions from millions, billions of beings to close in on her.  She tried covering her ears, slamming her head back against the wall again and again as tears mixed with blood streamed from her eyes.  Her body trembled from the force and she knew she would soon go mad if she did not stave off the attack.

Taking a shaky, deep breath, Aelora forced herself to calm.  Slowly, she began to picture brick – no, duracrete – walls begin to build up in and around her mind.  Ever so carefully she continued its construction, filling in cracks that appeared, building it higher and higher until the noise became less and less, finally diminishing into a background hum.  She sighed with relief, sagging against the wall behind her while the headache receded.  Anger filled her at the realization that her psi had decided to return when she least needed it.  It was a maddening thought that she had so little control over such a significant part of her life.  It was much like being handed a million Centauri ducats, then being instructed on what you could and could not use them for. 

Once she regained sufficient strength to stand, Aelora continued on down the empty corridor, following the invisible shadows that seemed to guide her.  The longer she heard the hum throbbing through her mind, the more despondent and angry she became.  Why was she the one who had been targeted to carry such a burden?  Could such abilities not do better in the hands of someone else, someone more worthy of them?  It seemed to her to be such a waste.  Even if the Shadows had never altered her, the telekinetic abilities she had been born with could have been enough to do great things – had they been given to someone with the heart and generosity they required.  Instead, by handing them to a selfish, cruel, undeserving child, the greatest joke in the entire universe had been achieved.  No wonder her parents had given up on her and turned away.  Aelora could have been so much more than she had become.

It was not until she reached the end of Red sector that Aelora realized where her subconscious had led her.  Staring ahead at the door that separated the air comprised wholly of CO2 from that breathable by Humans, she found her limbs had frozen in place, as if her body suddenly decided against the choice her mind had already made.  She continued to stare ahead, her fists clenching and unclenching at her sides, as her mind fought against her legs overwhelming urge to turn and run in the other direction.  You don’t want to do this! A voice inside warned.  But I do, she silently replied.  There is no other way.  This is right.  There is something better out there… I have to believe there is something better.  Even nonexistence calls to me to end the pain.  As she took another step forward, a nearby presence hovered at the back of her mind.  She hesitated, automatically stretching out to touch on it.  Instantly she recoiled from the alien mind, fear consuming her as she realized the presence she had touched on was Narn, and it was not G’Kar.  Panic overshadowed reason and she quickly convinced herself that it was Na’Kar who was following her; Na’Kar intent on finishing what he had began.  Knowing she would much rather die than ever allow that creature to again touch her, she ran toward the door before her, pounding on the button for entry.  Before the door had slid open more than a foot, Aelora pushed herself through, simultaneously closing it behind her before anyone could reach through and inhaling deeply, willing the alien atmosphere to take effect. 

Immediately she began choking on the sour taste and sharp odor that filtered through her mouth and nose.  Her survival instincts quickly kicked in and her hands involuntarily began clawing at her constricting throat and chest, searching for a way to ease her breathing.  The fumes consumed her, causing nausea and dizziness.  She fell to her knees, gasping for fresh air but only taking in more of the pure carbon dioxide that surrounded her.  She could feel her lungs expanding within her chest, her throat muscles tightening as if in an attempt to stave off the foreign air that continued to be absorbed in through her mouth.  As her vision began blurring and unconsciousness threatened, a terrible realization swept over her: She didn’t want to die!  

And with that revelation, a piercing scream echoed through her mind, though Aelora had trouble deciding if it were her own mind issuing a fatal death scream or an aftereffect of the Shadows.  She attempted crawling toward the door but her limbs became immobile, her muscles shutting down as if she were injected with a tranquilizer.  Her head slammed into the hard floor beneath her and bright lights quickly joined the darkness that was fast falling before her eyes.  In one last desperate attempt to survive, Aelora used every bit of strength left within her to cast to Terann Help me!! just as strong arms gathered her up off of the floor and away from the noxious gases.  The Human felt the air around her grow lighter, more breathable but her lungs refused to take it in.  She continued to take in short, tasking gasps as she slowly began to suffocate. 

Ta’Lon glanced down at the slight form in his arms and mentally cursed himself.  He should have realized the moment they entered the alien section of Red sector what the Human’s intentions had been.  Instead, he had not considered that any threats lay nearby, he had taken too long to react and too long to get through the door that separated them.  But if he had foregone putting on the breath mask, which he still wore about his head, he would not have been strong enough to pull the Human to safety.  Somehow, it seemed as if the Human had sensed his following her and had swiftly gone from cautious to desperate as if in an attempt to escape him.  Fear gripped him that he may already be too late, if her bulging eyes and bluish tint of her complexion were any indication.  She continued to beat at her chest with her fists as if she were trying to cause an opening from which she could take in the much-needed oxygen.

“Get out of my way!”  Ta’Lon bellowed at the throng of beings that pressed before him.  “Let me pass!”

Aelora felt exhaustion take over.  She knew she could not fight any longer, knew that oblivion was only heartbeats away and the realization saddened her.  She understood, too late, what life had come to mean to her.  What her life had come to mean.  She allowed her eyes to close and her heartbeat too slow.  She found herself wishing that Terann were there so she could share this moment of revelation with her.  Aelora knew she could not leave without passing on a piece of herself – even just a glimpse – to another being.  But she knew she was not strong enough to reach Terann or G’Kar, wherever they may be. 

So there was left only this Narn who carried her, who had been following her, who had attempted to rescue her, this Narn whose name she did not know.  Drawing her last reserve of strength, not knowing why she did this or how she knew to do so, Aelora reached out to him gently, pushing into his mind with her own and latching on as if it were a lifeline.  Remember. She cast to him.  Remember and learn.

Ta’Lon stumbled as the voice filtered through his mind and he was suddenly assaulted by thousands of images that flashed before his eyes.  He saw the birth of a Human child and the beautiful mother that held her, weeping, promising that she would always love and protect her.  He saw fields of plants and flowers before him, flora and fauna that sang to him with a melody of such sweet longing and magnificence that it brought tears to his eyes.  The plants reached out to him, talked to him, soothed his fears and pain.  They provided a balm for his loneliness and cheered him when he was sad.  He saw the child once more, only older now, running through the colorful fields, her laughter floating on the wind, her red curls and green eyes matching the colors of the flowers she played amidst.  And he saw the plants fading away and the child before him grow distant and cold, never giving in when she passed by a frond that cried out to her in pain, ignoring the seeds that without her touch, refused to grow.  He saw a being that appeared to be an angel rise up before her, enveloping her in its arms before it too pulled away, and then with clarity both stunning and terrible, the color returned and with it sound and confusion and strength and power beyond imagining.  The child-woman before him was now grown and wonderful to behold.  She walked with knowledge and understanding far beyond her years and to him she gave answers to questions he never wished to hear.  She sang to him in a voice filled with resonance, and showed him the flowers that sprang to life at her touch. 

And a horrible, ear-piercing scream tore through the scene.

The beauty and color soon drifted away and darkness consumed him, a suffocating silent stark void of nothingness.  He felt the life before him moving away, slipping into the dark, taking with it all of the color and music that had encapsulated him.  He cried out at the loss, reaching for any strand that he could grasp, begging for the light to return, praying to G’Lan for help.

“Ta’Lon!”

The Narn opened his eyes to find that he had somehow stumbled his way blindly through the station toward MedLab 1.  Before him, G’Kar and the Minbari, Terann, were rushing toward him, their expressions showing their concern. 

“I tried!”  Ta’Lon cried out, weeping from the loss of beauty he had experienced in a matter of moments.  “I tried!”

G’Kar pulled Aelora’s still form from his friend’s embrace and rushed her into MedLab while Terann draped the Narn’s arm over her shoulder and helped him through the doors.  He continued to mutter incoherently, unable to form in words what he had just experienced and seen.  He felt her take the mask from his face, slapping at his cheek gently, calling his name as if from far away. 

“Ta’Lon?”  Terann knelt before him, taking his hands into her own.  She glanced back momentarily to see Dr. Franklin hovering over the bed where G’Kar had laid Aelora, then returned her attention to the Narn before her.  She had heard Aelora’s pcry for help and had tried to follow her signature but it had quickly become confused and distorted and Terann had lost its trace.  But the realization had remained with her that Aelora’s psi abilities had returned and that she had somehow reached out to the Narn with them.  There was no other explanation for his current odd behavior.

“Ta’Lon?”  She spoke again, centering her touch on his anxieties, willing his mind to calm.  “What happened?”

“It was… so beautiful – terrible… “

“Ta’Lon,” Terann said, her tone demanding.  “What happened to Aelora?”

The Narn blinked and finally turned his focus on Terann.  “I… she entered the carbon dioxide atmosphere.  I… I tried to get to her – it was so beautiful.  So unbelievable…”

Terann squeezed his shoulder as a nurse came over to examine him then stood and hurried over to Dr. Franklin.  “She breathed in carbon dioxide.  It sounds as if it took a few moments before Ta’Lon could reach her.”

Franklin nodded, watching the monitor before him.  He glanced up when he was certain Aelora was out of danger and easily breathing in the oxygen they had provided.  “Keep an eye on her lungs,” he told his assistant who hovered near.  “I want you to run some tests, see what kind of damage was done.”  He turned to G’Kar and Terann.  “Come with me.”

G’Kar seemed to hesitate but the stern expression from the doctor caused him to follow obediently.  Franklin led them outside into the corridor, away from the prying ears of the medical staff and patients.  He crossed his arms, fixing them both with a level glare.

“So is this enough?”  He demanded.  “Are you so set in your decision to keep Aelora here that you are willing to risk her life yet again?”

G’Kar and Terann glanced at one another in discomfort.  The Minbari turned her gaze back to the Human doctor. 

“I am sorry, Dr. Franklin.  I know we must appear selfish – “

“Appear?”  Franklin snapped.  “That’s sugar-coating it just a bit, don’t you think?”

She shook her head.  “Dr. Franklin, please understand the danger Aelora would be in if we handed her over to Earth.  I believe that her psi abilities have returned, and if that is the case whatever hospital you send her to will not have her for long.  She will be taken into Psi Corps and we will never be able to get her back.”

“Did you ever think she might be safer in Psi Corps?”

“That is not even a consideration,” Terann replied calmly.  “I have learned enough about your Psi Corps – “

“For whatever you know and whatever you are, Terann,” Franklin told her.  “You are not human and therefore understand little of what goes on within EarthGov.”

“Dr. Franklin,” G’Kar commented with a frown.  “I thought you of all people were opposed to Psi Corps.”

The Human sighed, running a hand over his eyes.  “I am, G’Kar.  Of course I am.  But… I cannot stand by and watch Aelora attempt to take her life again.  Something has got to be done.”

A weight descended over Terann at the decision she knew needed to be made.  Not wishing for the conversation to be dragged out, and knowing that certain things would be said that G’Kar would not wish to hear, she turned and placed her hand on the Narn’s arm:

“G’Kar, would you mind letting me speak to Dr. Franklin alone please?”

The Narn regarded her suspiciously.  “What must you say that I am not to hear?”

“Please, G’Kar,” she pressed, ignoring his question.  “Aelora needs you.  Go to her and I will speak with you soon.”

He appeared ready to argue but finally seemed to think better of it, then cast them both a suspicious glare before turning and heading back into MedLab.  As he started toward Aelora, he spied Ta’Lon out of the corner of his eye, sitting on an examination table, his gaze resting on the Human.  G’Kar moved over to his friend, wanting to thank him for getting to Aelora so quickly.

“Ta’Lon?”

The Narn started, turning to G’Kar as if he were surprised to see him standing there. 

“I wanted to thank you for rescuing Aelora.  Had you not been there – “

“I did not know,” Ta’Lon told him, jumping from his position on the table and grabbing hold of G’Kar’s arm.  “I did not understand but now I do.  Such beauty, G’Kar!  Such magnificence!  I am humbled… I am… “ He shook his head, as if at a loss for words.

G’Kar stared at his friend, not certain what he was talking about.  He glanced over at the nurse who hovered behind him.

“He appears to be in shock,” she told him quietly.  “Though from what, we are uncertain.  We are going to run more tests.  He will be alright.”

G’Kar nodded, patting his friend’s shoulder.  “Rest, Ta’Lon.  We will speak more later.” 

He then continued over to Aelora, pulling up a stool and sitting beside her.  He reached out and touched her cheek, pain gripping him at the realization that she would rather face death than continue to live with the memories of what his people had done to her.  How could he explain to her that he could never let her go?  That losing her hurt him as much as life hurt her?  And which of them was right?  Which of them was stronger?

G’Kar leaned over and pressed a light kiss to her forehead, noticing the faint, sharp odor of carbon dioxide that still clung to her.  “I love you,” he whispered softly against her skin.  “And if wanting to go on loving you is selfish, than I apologize now because I will never give up.  Do not leave me, Aelora.  I can be strong enough for us both if you stay.”

 

 

 

 

          Terann stepped aside to allow G’Kar entrance and he moved past her to the bed where he gently laid Aelora’s sleeping form on the mattress.  He caressed her cheek softly, pleased to see that her coloring was returning and no longer held the bluish cast of death.  Dr. Franklin had given her a strong sedative, saying that she should probably sleep throughout the night, allowing her throat and lungs time to recuperate.  G’Kar still did not understand why the doctor had released her to them when it was obvious she should remain in MedLab for a few more days.  The Narn could not help but worry.  Twice now he had almost lost her.  A part of him conceded that if sending her to Earth would keep her alive, then perhaps they should do so.

            Which again brought him back to why Dr. Franklin had so readily allowed them to bring her back to the quarters she shared with Terann.  The doctor had been adamant about sending her for specialized help – until he had come back from speaking with Terann in the hall.  Then he had quickly administered the sedative, checked her vitals once more and told G’Kar that she could recover just as easily and more comfortably in her own bed. 

Terann had said nothing to him during the walk and G’Kar had been much too wrapped up in the life he carried in his arms to attempt to make conversation.  He enjoyed how it felt to hold Aelora against him.  He loved the feel of her heartbeat next to his, the sound of her soft breathing beside his ear.  He imagined that she had fallen asleep voluntarily in his arms and that if she were to wake up, she would simply smile at him then close her eyes and trustingly lay her head back on his shoulder.  But sadly, he knew that would not be the case and so found himself silently praying that the sedative would remain active until after they had reached the quarters. 

Turning now towards Terann, G’Kar discovered the Minbari regarding him steadily, her gaze direct and unblinking.  The Narn actually felt slightly offended at her expression.  “Is there a problem, Terann?” 

She pursed her lips.  “I have decided to perform the mindwipe.”

G’Kar’s eyes widened.  When last they had broached the topic, Terann had remained solidly against it and he had given up any hope of her changing her mind.  “I see.”  He paused, studying her as closely as she was he.  “And may I ask what brought about this change of mind?”

“I am not doing it for you, so do not begin to congratulate yourself,” she warned in a biting tone.  She looked over at Aelora and her expression softened.  “I care for her too, and I do not like to see her hurting this much.  Her abilities… She has so much to offer but she cannot see that when her heart and mind are in such pain.  I do believe the use of her psi has returned to her and in the state she is currently in… “ She trailed off, shook her head.  “She is a danger to both herself and this station.’

“Aelora would never purposely harm –“

“Would she not?” Terann asked, glancing at him sharply.  “Right now she is terrified of your people.  What if one of them approached her, said the wrong thing, made the wrong kind of movement, how would she react?  It would be spontaneous and instant – motivated by emotion.  She can kill with a simple thought, G’Kar, do you not understand this?  If she does not retain some semblance of control, Sheridan will order her away from here again.”

In reality, G’Kar did not care what Terann’s reasons were for changing her mind.  She was going to perform the mindwipe!  Aelora would be his again!  It was all he could do not to kiss the Minbari before him.  Aelora would no longer remember anything that his people had done to her and they would be able to being their life together.  It was more than he had ever believed possible!

“So you are going to take her memories of her time on Narn away from her?”

Terann looked askance at him, her face molded into a frown.  “That is what you would prefer, is it not?  That I have Aelora believe it is the Centauri who hold the appellation for evil?”

“They are the ones who sent her to Narn!  Cartagia was prepared to murder her in front of me!”  G’Kar raged.  “She came to me and told me that the Kyra’s were responsible for the death of her mother.  Are you then going to simply let her see the Centauri through, as the Humans say, rose-colored glasses?”

“No.” Terann shook her head.  “I am going to let her make up her own mind.  Both the Narn and the Centauri are equally responsible for the state she is in.  Therefore she can draw her conclusions as to the ways of the universe.”

“Schrock!”  G’Kar cursed, pacing around the room.  Fear gripped him that Aelora would awaken from her mindwipe loyal to the Centauri once again, and she would have to learn how to love him once more.  G’Kar did not know if he could live through such pain again.

“G’Kar, this is the true test.”

“What do you mean?” He rounded on her with a scowl.

“How much do you love her, G’Kar?” Terann asked.  “Enough to put your selfishness aside?  To want to see her happy again, no matter what may happen to you?”

G’Kar looked away, knowing that the Minbari was right.  No matter how much he wanted to be able to realize his wish to have Aelora at his side, what he wanted more was for her nightmares to go away, for her to feel safe again.  He had to trust in their feelings for one another enough to believe that whatever may come, she would learn to love him again.  They had been through so much, both of them, and G’Kar could not begin to believe that what they had suffered through to be together meant nothing.  He had to believe that they were meant to be together or everything that had been lost would have been for nothing.

“Very well, Terann,” G’Kar finally conceded.  “I will abide by your wishes.”

For a moment, Terann found herself surprised by his consent.  She had expected more of an argument out of him; such as the first one they had regarding the subject of the mindwipe.  His evident selflessness caused her to pause.  Briefly, she found herself envying the love the Narn obviously felt for Aelora.  If only Neroon had felt as strongly then –

No!  Terann forced the thought of him from her mind and returned her attention to Aelora and the situation at hand.  In both her mind and heart, she questioned what she was about to do.  She could not help but ask herself if it was what the Human would truly want.  Would it be what she would want?  If she had suffered the pain that Aelora had been subjected to, would she simply wish it erased from her mind?  Or would she rather keep it inside and learn from it?  She glanced up at G’Kar and found him watching Aelora, everything he felt for the Human visible in his gaze.  Terann looked away quickly, shame washing over her for having glimpsed something so personal.  She made her decision quickly; knowing the truth was that two lives would be irrevocably ruined if she did not rectify the situation. 

She took a step forward, sitting on the edge of the bed beside her friend.  For a moment she reached out and caressed the frown lines from Aelora’s forehead, sending a silent message that soon all of the pain would be gone.  She then laid her palm over the soft skin and glanced back at G’Kar.

“Come here,” she instructed him.

He looked askance at her for a moment, not certain what he could do to help.  He stepped near her though, pausing when she held out her other hand.

“Take it,” she told him when she noticed his hesitation.  She thrust her hand out further in a silent demand, her gaze not leaving his.  When he did reach out to her, she snatched his hand quickly, pulling him near and holding him in a bruising grasp.

“Terann!  What are you – ?”

“Eternal happiness does not come without its price, G’Kar,” Terann snapped.

The Narn began to struggle to pull away but just as he did so, he felt the invasion of his mind; a possession so powerful it brought him to his knees beside the bed.  He felt his gaze turn inward and found himself no longer kneeling beside the bed in Terann’s and Aelora’s quarters but standing in a dark corridor lined with doors.  There was a slight chill in the air, and a silence so emphatic that it was worse than any cacophony of noise.

“She is sleeping right now.”

G’Kar whirled around to find Terann standing behind him.

“What are you doing?” He demanded angrily.  “Get out of my mind!”

“We are not in your mind, G’Kar,” she replied smugly.  “We are in Aelora’s.”

He paused to consider this for a moment then allowed his anger to grip him once more.  “You know what I mean.  This is an invasion – “

“Yes it is!”  Terann agreed, taking a step toward the Narn.  “It is an invasion – one of the worst as a matter of fact.  But it is what you have demanded that I do so that you may possess Aelora’s heart once more.  For this crime you will not remain blameless.  You will sit beside me in judgment for this invasion should that day ever come.  And you will remember it, G’Kar.  You will remember every detail you see here, every facet of Aelora’s mind and memories.  You will know what has been and will be taken from her and you will remember how every moment of it feels.  Every glance, every touch, every word spoken between you and her will be a lie from here on out and I want you to know and understand that in your heart as well as your mind!”

The Narn took a step back from her, a scowl on his face.  “Why, Terann?  Why are you doing this?”

The anger drained from her and Terann shook her head.  “Maybe it is justice, G’Kar.  Maybe I am sick of seeing those I care about hurt, maybe for once I want someone to understand what telepaths like myself and Aelora suffer.  Maybe I want to see something in this universe actually survive and grow and to do that, G’Kar, to truly see what you and Aelora share survive, you must understand her.  Everything about her; the good and the bad.  I want you to understand what she gave up for you, to protect you –“

“I know what she suffered, Terann.”

“No.”  She shook her head.  “You do not.  I am not simply talking about the torture she experienced at the hands of Cartagia and Na’Kar.  I am speaking of the loss of her abilities, the sacrifice she made forcing herself to remain on the Sleepers.  I want you to understand that her life with you means suffering these sorts of trials constantly.  Her relationship with a mundane will never be accepted once people begin to realize what she is.  All her life, her secret has been safe.  But it is no longer and you have no real understanding of the power she possesses.”

“That is where you are wrong,” he reminded her.  “I have felt the gift of her power firsthand.”

Terann shook her head.  “That was only the beginning.”

G’Kar looked away, fighting the urge to be angry with the Minbari.  He understood that she was simply doing this for Aelora but the fact was he did not deserve to be on trial for loving the Human.  She was behaving as if everything that had occurred was somehow his fault and that behavior seemed very unlike the Terann he had come to know.  Then again, perhaps he had never truly known her.

“No, you have not.”

G’Kar flashed a glare at Terann.  “Stay out of my head.”

“Do not cast your thoughts so carelessly,” she returned.  “It is something you must learn to do if you plan on spending your life with a telepath.” She moved past him then and started down the hallway.

G’Kar watched her for a long moment before moving to catch up with her.  They walked in silence for a while before his curiosity finally won out.  “Where is this place?”

“It is Aelora’s mind.”  The expression of disbelief on the Narn’s face caused Terann to explain further, “Every sentient being arranges their thought patterns, memories and such in a different manner.  At particularly trying times in our lives, the arrangement we choose is sometimes the only way that we can survive.  Aelora did not always arrange her mind this way; it has only been like this since I found her on Narn.  Before it was open and very active, so alive with thought patterns that I had to teach her to tone it down or she gave me a headache with her simple nearness.

“But in order to survive everything she experienced, she has locked it all away in separate rooms, closing the memories off so that she would not have to deal with them.  When I first entered her mind in MedLab, she had locked herself away in a glass cage, where her memories could not touch her.  The only way I can explain it is that she could see them but they could not touch her.  Now she no longer hides from them but she still keeps them separated and with her at the same time.  To help her, I must rid her of these rooms and make it so that she is no longer afraid of moving through the halls of her own mind.”

“Very well.”  The Narn took a deep breath.  “Where do we begin?”

Terann stopped and focused her gaze on him.  There was something hovering just at the back of her mind, something she found herself needing to do.  She knew it could earn her the hatred of the being before her but she found it really did not matter.  What did matter was that G’Kar never hurt Aelora, never be the cause of any pain brought to her.  She wanted to make certain that he never punished her physically, frightened her… or ever broke Aelora’s heart… as Neroon had done to Terann.  To do that, G’Kar would have to understand what it meant to feel truly frightened and alone.

“Open that door,” Terann told him, pointing across the hall.

G’Kar followed the direction and found himself hesitating, though he could not explain why.  The Minbari beside him sighed and moved forward, placing her hand on the latch.  “Our work begins here, G’Kar.”  She looked back at him.  “If you truly love her, truly want to help her, then you will step inside this room.”

The Narn straightened his shoulders, taking offense at her tone, and walked confidently through the doorway, only to come to a stunned halt once inside.  He turned quickly in an attempt to leave only to find cavern walls, impenetrable walls built from the red earth of his homeworld, had replaced the door.  Terann stood off to the side, her arms crossed in front of her, watching him silently.

“Do not turn away from it, G’Kar.  Face it.”

“No,” he barked.  “You are doing this to me as some form of punishment, though for what I have no idea!  I am not at fault – “

“The entire male species is at fault, G’Kar!”  Terann railed, moving toward him in rage.  “For it is as it always has been the male preying on the female, destroying her in the way that only they can by stripping her of dignity and worth and using her as a toy for their sick games!  Now look at her!”  The Minbari grabbed him roughly and spun him around to face the form that lay huddled in the corner of the room.

G’Kar attempted to look away but in the end his gaze was drawn to Aelora in a horrified form of curiosity.  This was what his people had reduced her to; a trembling mass of pain and suffering, cowering in the corner like a beaten animal.  She did not resemble the woman he had come to love in the least; she did not even appear Human.  He took a step then hesitated, his heart wanting to go to her while his mind warned him that everything that was happening was some sick plan of Terann’s for a revenge that he did not understand.

“This was how I found her,” the Minbari spoke softly.  “Her wrists slashed, in an attempt to end the pain.  By this time, I had already glimpsed much of what had been done to her.  But nothing prepared me for what I saw when I reached into Na’Kar’s mind.”  She paused, glancing at the Narn beside her.  “Go to her.”

G’Kar did as instructed, knowing that it was safer to simply end this game of Terann’s as quickly as possible.  Slowly he made his way over to the Human, hesitating only once as he neared until Terann assured him that Aelora did not know they were present.  Quietly he knelt down next to her reaching out a hand to touch her cheek.

Terann watched him silently for a moment before she quietly reached into the depths of her own mind and withdrew the images she sought.

One moment G’Kar was gently touching Aelora’s bruised cheek, but in the next she screamed, knocking his hand away, attempting to scramble away from him.  At first, he found himself speaking to calm her but before he could understand what was happening, the Narn reached out and hit the Human hard across the jaw, knocking her inert against the hard earth.  It was as if his body was not his own while his mind remained cognizant of the evils surrounding him.  He towered over the young Human, scratching, biting and hitting until pain finally drew her attention toward him.

“You like that do you not, Centauri?”  He heard himself mock as his hands tore at the thin shreds of clothing still covering his victim.  When Aelora fought back he twisted her broken forearm, threatening to shatter what remained of the delicate bones.  When her struggles stilled he returned to his task, until his hand reached bare flesh.  As he felt her soft warm skin beneath his hands he was reminded of all he longed to share with the Human, how desperately he wanted to show her tenderness and love and security. 

But his body would not allow this. 

Instead he brutalized her further, pulling her by what hair she had remaining to the center of the room, eliciting a cry from Aelora. 

“Shut up, whore,” he shouted, backhanding her hard across the cheek, sending her back to the hard floor. 

It was then that he managed to free himself from the confines of his uniform, holding her down with one hand while the other forced her legs apart.  When he entered her it was not with the gentleness he had fantasized since first meeting her but with an animalistic brutality that brought a wave of nausea crashing over him.  Everything within him begged for Terann to end this, to try to block the sensations from his mind, yet as he did so he felt the Minbari tighten her grip on his mind.  She forced aside any attempts he made to block her with little effort, taking the pain and anguish he was feeling and transforming it into pleasure and elation.  He saw with Na’Kar’s eyes, felt with Na’Kar’s cold demented heart and mind.  When Aelora struggled against him, he lashed out at her in hatred.  When she refused to fight he took her submission as Centauri cowardice and invented new ways to evoke a fight from her.  He repeated the cycle, brutalizing her body until his hands were covered in her blood and his skin smelled of her sweat and filth.  At some point the Human lost consciousness, slipping back into the security of her mind.  But G’Kar paid little attention.  Somewhere in the back of his mind he believed that she could still sense his violation of her, that even in the safety of her own mind she could still not escape him.  It was only when he was fully spent that he allowed himself to collapse on top of her, his breath ragged, his heart pounding in exhilaration.

It was in that moment, when all the joy and elation culminated within him that he felt the Minbari once again within his mind.  Like a rubber band stretched taut she released him, sending his heart and mind instantly into turmoil.  Guilt, anguish and remorse unlike any he had felt before washed over him stealing his breath from him.  He could not move, could not breath, even the simple act of thinking seemed impossible and for this he was grateful.  He did not wish to reflect on the emotions that had raged through him, did not want to remember the physical and mental sensations the Minbari had forced upon him.  He wrapped his arms tightly around his chest, never once noticing that the near lifeless Human had disappeared.  He felt hollow and alone as the truth washed over him.  This is what had forced Aelora away, forced her to seek refuge in the farthest reaches of her mind, what had driven her to the brink of insanity.  All that he had witnessed and took part in had lasted mere moments, but for her it had been days, weeks of unrelenting agony.  Suddenly he felt selfish, ashamed that he had expected so much from her so soon.  He should have given her all the space and time she needed, allowed her to come to him when she was ready.  But instead he had been so happy to see her alive, so eager to have her close that he had forgotten the scope of her experience.  Pressing his hands to his eyes he wept openly, crying out all the guilt, all the pain, every ounce of it flowing from within. His heart screamed at him all the while silently begging Aelora for his forgiveness.  He realized now the extent of his people’s crimes against the Human, realized that the Minbari had been right.  His people had done the things they had to Aelora because they felt it was what he would want and the pain of this truth was enough to almost cripple him.

“Is that what you believe?”  Terann asked, kneeling down beside him, caressing his cheek in an unsympathetic manner.  “Do you think that is all there is?  Understanding is a three-edge sword G’Kar.  Your side, their side…  And the truth.”

The Narn did not have time to cry out before rough hands grabbed him by his neck, dragging him to his knees.  All around him, out of sheer nothingness, Na’Kar, Tu’Roc, Na’Tal and all the others appeared before him.  Their faces were contorted in anger and hatred; their burning eyes focused squarely on him.

“Na’Kar…?” G’Kar begged, fear unlike anything he had previously felt consuming his mind and body.

“Quiet, whore!” Na’Kar shouted, slamming a booted foot into G’Kar’s head, sending him back to the cold unforgiving ground.  He struggled to pull himself upright, but his clearly broken arms would not allow him leverage to do so.  It was then that he realized what was happening.  He caught sight of his swollen and bruised arms, felt the cold bite of the dirt beneath his barely covered flesh, felt the pain both physical and mental that ravaged his body and mind.  His body was his own, yet not his own, his mind… yes that was still his.  His thoughts and ideas were intact, yet there was something more, something unfamiliar, yet oddly welcomed.  It was as if he had stepped outside of his own body and into another, sharing Aelora’s experiences with her.  When he spoke it was with her voice, when he fought it was with her arms and her legs.  He was in control yet completely powerless all at once.  A million thoughts raced through his mind, not the least of which was how to prevent all that he knew was imminent.  He quickly came to realize that all these thoughts were in vain, as Na’Kar and the others came at him once again. 

Caring little for the pain they caused, Ta’Rel and Na’Tal took hold of his tender arms bringing him to his feet before slamming him into the cavern wall.  His eyes widened in alarm as Na’Kar closed on him, much like a predator toying with its prey.  And then he felt hands upon his body, tearing at his clothing and his skin, not once stopping as he cried out for it to end.  One by one they came at him, violating his body in increasingly brutal ways. 

Teetering on the brink of consciousness he felt himself begin to fall, darkness threatening to swallow him but never coming close enough to claim him.  He sensed Terann standing near him, unaffected by the Narns’ assault of him.

“Please… make it stop,” he pleaded, summoning the last of his strength.

“You beg of me to stop, you would like for me to end this.  But I cannot.  You must see through her eyes, live through her body, know all that she knows.  To see it done to her is one thing, to know her terror and fear as if it were your own is quite another.  You wish for me to end your pain, but I will not, just as they would not end hers.  All her anguish and horror is now yours.  You will remember this no matter how hard you try to forget.  It has been imprinted on your soul and will haunt you until your death, just as it will follow me.  We are now both a part of this, G’Kar.”

“Why?… Why are you doing this?” 

“Perhaps it is revenge.  Perhaps I merely wish for someone to share the blame of what we are doing.  Or perhaps it is something more, something you do not understand, something you do not wish to understand.  Sleep now G’Kar… sleep… and never forget.”

The Narn then felt as if he had been pushed from a cliff, the sensation of falling ever faster overwhelming his senses, swallowing him in blackness. 

When he finally opened his eyes again pain quickly tore through his mind and he found himself sitting once more in the corridor of Aelora’s mind, her screams issuing from behind the close door of the room he had entered only moments ago with Terann.  He struggled to his feet, pounding his fists against the door, demanding that Terann allow him back in, demanding to know why she had forced him to experience all that he had.  His rage and sorrow mixed with the pain and terror felt by Aelora threatened to overwhelm him and he finally staggered back, sliding once more to the floor, emotional exhaustion taking over.  Lowering his face into his hands, he wept for all that the woman he loved had suffered, at the rage he felt for his own people, at the knowledge that he would never again close his eyes without seeing the images that Terann had just forced him to experience.

G’Kar did not know how long he sat there when he finally felt Terann’s presence before him.  He looked up at the Minbari and found he could not summon the strength he needed to focus his fury on her.  “Are you pleased now?”  He asked softly.

“I take no joy from this, G’Kar.  I had to make you understand.”

G’Kar struggled to his feet and reacted from his emotions, slamming his fist hard into the Minbari’s face.  She fell back against the wall behind her, quickly righting herself and wiping at the blood that appeared from her lip.

“You have some pretty powerful emotions raging through you, G’Kar,” Terann commented matter-of-factly.  “Most would not have been able to cause me damage mentally.  That’s good.”

“Why do I find it hard to believe that you are not enjoying all of this?”

She shrugged.  “You do not know me, G’Kar.  So do not attempt to judge me.”  With that she turned and continued down the hall. 

“Do not walk away from me!”  G’Kar railed following her.  “What you did just now – what you forced me to see – “

Terann spun around to face him.  “What I forced you to see??  I only opened your eyes to the truth, G’Kar.  I know you.  I know that through these past few days you have been telling yourself over and over again that all the blame rests with Na’Kar, that the rest of your people could never be capable of such things, that you are blameless.  But the truth of the matter is that you are just as capable of it as Na’Kar or any of the others who stripped Aelora of her dignity.  The only difference is your betrayal would kill her!”

G’Kar remained silent at that, his mind in an emotional maelstrom.  He found himself both hating and understanding Terann at the same moment.  He could never forgive the Minbari for her invasion of his mind, for her destruction of the world he had presently lived in, but he could see that what she did, she did for Aelora.  And he understood it.  All of it.

“Are we done?” He asked finally.

            Terann shook her head.  “No.  There is more.  You do not need to continue though.”

            “I did not just have my heart ripped from my chest and stomped on by you to give up now,” G’Kar replied.  “I will see it all.”

            “Very well.  Follow me.”

            Quickly, G’Kar found himself wishing that he had not insisted on continuing.  The first room they had entered had dealt only with Aelora’s memories of Na’Kar, and there were many other captors they had yet to confront.  Though every visit ended the same way, with Terann expelling G’Kar from the room before he could see how she rid Aelora of the memory.  His anger and impatience were growing.  He was beginning to feel that she had only brought him along to taunt and shock him.  It was after she had dealt with the last of the Narns that G’Kar felt it was time to question her motives but before he could speak, she opened yet another door and G’Kar was surprised to see Aelora, Emperor Cartagia and a few palace guards.  He glanced over at the Minbari who simply shrugged.  Looking back, G’Kar realized the scene before them had occurred after Aelora had confronted Cartagia before the Court as her arms hung limp and useless at her sides and her face was badly bruised.

            “I must say, Aelora,” Cartagia smiled almost pleasantly as he approached her and placed a finger under her chin.  “You are honored with quite a distinction.  After all, it is not everyday that an outsider brings about the fall of such a powerful House as the Kyras.”

            She continued to glare at him defiantly though the pain she was feeling was evident in her eyes.  “Leave the Kyra’s out of this, Cartagia.  They had nothing to do with it.”

            “Oh no, I disagree with you,” Cartagia replied, shaking his head.  “I believe they have everything to do with it.  They brought you to Centauri Prime, did they not?  They raised you, obviously not very well.  The sad part of it is you had so much potential, Aelora,” he told her, leaning near to her.  “So much potential!  You could have achieved a great many things on our world, been remembered for generations.  Instead, you attempt to corrupt and disrupt and that is something that can simply not be tolerated, Aelora.”

            “The Centauri people are dying, Cartagia,” Aelora spat.  “And you are dragging them down ever more quickly.”

            He smiled.  “Oh I certainly hope so.”  He nodded to a nearby guard then returned his gaze to her.  “What I can not understand, above everything else that you so blindly threw away, is what you see in that animal?”

            Aelora’s gaze hardened instantly and any evidence of pain was replaced with fury.  “Never speak of G’Kar in such a manner!  He is worth a thousand of you!”

            “Well, at least he will be when I sell him off… piece by piece.”

            Aelora’s sharp gasp of outrage was cut off by his laughter and Cartagia began dancing around the courtyard, singing about selling the Narn off piece by gory piece.  He even went so far as to go into detail about which pieces would most likely fetch the most exorbitant prices.  Aelora paled as the song continued and seemed to pull back from the goings-on around her, searching for a means of escape.  Her attention quickly returned to the proceedings though when Lord and Lady Kyra were ushered into the garden by more guards.  The moment Lord Kyra saw Aelora he flew into an instant rage.

            “You conniving little bitch!”  He screamed, lunging for her and locking his fingers around her throat.  “I should have disposed of you the moment your whore of a mother pawned you off on us!”

            Unable to fight him, Aelora could only wait until the guards saw fit to pull Lord Kyra away from her and Cartagia allowed the moment to play out for a bit before giving the order to do so.  The Human fell to her knees, gasping for much needed air before she finally turned her gaze on the beings she had once considered as parents.  It seemed to her like centuries ago.

            “It would not have surprised me if you had done so, considering you thought nothing of killing my mother.”

            “Your mother,” Lady Kyra snapped.  “Laid with animals.  Animals!  As if she deserved any special treatment from us.  We did a great kindness by taking you in and this is how you repay us – with lies and deception and the audacity to be just like her!”

            “Soria Campbell was everything the two of you could never be!”  Aelora cried.  “She was gentle and kind and loving and beautiful.  She made people love her, care for her.  You are nothing but heartless, ignorant – “

            Lord Kyra snarled in rage, kicking out with his boot to clip Aelora on her chin, knocking her back.  He struggled out of the grasp of the guard to stand over her, shouting, “Who are you to judge us?  We gave you everything anyone could ask for, a home, a family, and clothing on your back, a fine education – you wanted for nothing!  Yet it was not enough, no, not for you!  Obviously what we should have given you was a nice piece of soiled ground and an animal to lie beside you!  You have been and always will be nothing, Aelora!  We tried to help you, tried to make you into something but your worthlessness knows no bounds!”

            Cartagia broke into applause, bringing the others to silence as if they had forgotten about his presence.  They watched him warily as he approached, his gaze sweeping over them all.  “As much as I have enjoyed this little family drama, I am afraid it is time to end it.”

            “We stand behind you, your Majesty,” Lord Kyra announced.  “With any punishment you see fit to deliver to this usurper.”

            “Ah.  Well, thank you,” Cartagia smiled.  “That is very nice to know.  Unfortunately, neither you nor Lady Kyra will be present to witness Aelora’s demise.  Guards, if you will.”

            The Emperor stood aside as the guards grabbed Lord and Lady Kyra, despite their protests and struggles, and tied them to nearby poles.  Another guard entered with a long, very sharp blade that he handed over to Cartagia.  The Emperor moved toward the Kyra’s slowly, watching with distinct pleasure as their eyes grew in fear and they struggled against their bonds.

            “You see,” he began.  “An example must be set.  Aelora is only an outsider and therefore her punishment will not be as impressive to the Centauri people as yours will be.  Think of this as the supreme sacrifice for your people.  Giving your lives for the betterment of society.”

            “Don’t!”  Aelora cried out, not knowing why, not understanding why she should care one whit about the lives of the monsters before her.  They had raised her on lies and cruelty and yet she still felt responsible, still felt guilty that she had somehow pulled them to their destruction along with hers.  She could not be responsible for destroying yet another life.  She had too much blood on her hands as it was.  “Please, your Majesty.  I will do anything.  Do not make them suffer for my crimes.  The Great Maker knows they tried to make me into an exemplary Centauri.”

            Cartagia paused, turning to look at Aelora as if he were truly thinking over her plea.  He smiled at her for a brief moment then quickly whirled around and sliced the blade across Lady Kyra’s throat.  The blood spurted onto his clothing, causing him to hop away from it with a laugh as the once noble lady’s head rolled across the ground coming to a rest near Aelora.  She screamed in horror, hardly registering the babbling that erupted from Lord Kyra, nonsensical mutterings that wavered from cursing the Human he had raised to begging his Emperor for mercy.  His cries went unheeded as Cartagia swung the blade around once more, stopping for a brief moment as it became lodged in the spinal cord.  He hacked at it for a few moments, commenting to Aelora that he hated dulling his special sword, then stepping back as Lord Kyra’s head dropped from his shoulders to roll to a stop beside that of his wife.

            Cartagia knelt beside Aelora, who was now cowering against the ground, her gaze closed against the lifeless eyes of her foster parents that regarded her.  “Aelora, might I have the honor of introducing you to the heads of the Kyra House!”  Cartagia then fell into a maniacal bout of laughter over his joke.

            “I have seen enough,” G’Kar barked to Terann, his fists clenching at his sides.

            “That makes two of us,” Terann replied and they were once more standing in the corridor.

            G’Kar frowned.  “You are not going to erase that memory?”

            “No.  It is something Aelora must deal with – this guilt she harbors over the death of the Kyra’s.  She must realize it had nothing to do with her.  As she mentioned to Cartagia, the Centauri people are a dying race.  The Kyra’s were simply a part of that.”

            “You take quite a liberty over what you would and would not have Aelora remember,” the Narn commented.

            “I did not ask for your approval, G’Kar,” Terann told him. 

            The Narn grunted at this, turning away from her to glance at their surroundings.  The corridor seemed smaller then before and he said as much to Terann.

            “That is because we have been effectively destroying many of the rooms, forcing Aelora to allow her memories to merge and no longer remain locked away.  There are only a few others I need to rework and then I will be done.”

            “What do you mean ‘rework’?” He asked suspiciously.

            The Minbari stopped and turned to face him.  “Surely you are smart enough to understand that we cannot simply make these memories go away.  There would be too much explaining for that.  How did she receive her injuries?  Where was she all this time?  Why did she need to remain in MedLab?  We cannot simply pretend she was off enjoying holiday on DisneyPlanet,” she finished sarcastically.

            For the second time, G’Kar considered hitting the Minbari before him but she gave a look that caused him to reconsider. 

            They continued on through the rooms after that, forcing G’Kar to relive that awful moment in the Court when he had simultaneously recovered and once more lost the beautiful Human he had come to love.  They watched as Cartagia handed her over to the slavers, telling them how she was responsible for G’Kar’s capture and to make certain the Narns they gave her to understand this.  Through every excruciating moment, G’Kar found himself wondering how Aelora had survived as long as she had, how she had not given up long before.  His respect and admiration for her strength doubled and he silently promised himself that he would help Aelora to see all of her admirable qualities as well.   

            When Terann finally declared that nothing more could be done, G’Kar sighed his relief.  He was uncertain if he could mentally withstand anymore.  He opened his eyes to find that he was still on his knees beside the bed and Terann was standing over him, regarding him silently.  He stood too quickly, wavering unsteadily at first.  When he finally regained his equilibrium, he took a threatening step toward the Minbari.

“You had no right to do what you just did!”

            Terann shrugged, knowing that what he said was true but finding that she did not care.  A month ago, she would not have considered taking control of another’s mind so carelessly, so callously.  But now, she found it little mattered.  Sometimes, the only way to get someone to listen was to force him or her to do so. 

            “Perhaps,” she replied.  “But what are you going to do about it?  Physically hit me?  I assure you that I will have you back against that bulkhead before you could make contact.  I know that you are angry over what I have done, and perhaps you have a right to be but in truth, G’Kar, I do not care.  I am a telepath.  I have advantages in this universe that you could not begin to dream of.  Aelora is the same.  You must therefore understand her more deeply and emotionally than any other being you have ever encountered or you will one day end up hurting her, G’Kar, more than anyone ever could.”

            The Narn only glared at her more fiercely.  “One day you will come to realize that you can not blindly go about through life forcing others to pay for the pain you have been unfortunate enough to experience, Terann.”

            Her eyes narrowed.  “What is that supposed to mean?”

            “I think you know.”  He stepped back, his gaze returning to the unmoving form of the Human.  “What about Aelora?  Will she awaken?”

            For a moment, Terann considered reworking Aelora’s memories so that she would never again trust the Narn but she swallowed her own anger and forced herself to think of the two beings who very obviously belonged together.  “She will most likely sleep through the night.  You are free to go.”  At his hesitation, Terann’s tone softened.  “She will come to you when she is ready, G’Kar.  That much I can promise.”

            G’Kar nodded, and then stepped around her to approach the sleeping woman.  He touched her cheek, then leaned over and kissed her lips softly.  “I will be waiting for you, shon’Ur,” he whispered against her skin.  “And we can begin again.”

            Terann continued to regard him until he disappeared from their quarters then returned to sit beside Aelora.  She had been careful to erase the worst of Aelora’s memories while leaving enough of her experiences intact for the Human to make sense of everything that had happened to her.  Some of her memories would simply appear clouded and hazy, hopefully causing her to believe that she was simply too sick to remember.  Others she had lessened the severity of while the worst of them, such as the many rapes at the hands of her captors, had been erased altogether.  What she had not told G’Kar was that she had left her treatment by Na’Kar alone, making it appear that he had been her only captor and that no other Narns had been involved.  Terann believed it was necessary for Aelora to retain a face to blame while still knowing that this was only one individual while the entire race could not be held accountable for his actions. 

            Deep in her heart, Terann knew that the chances of the mindwipe remaining throughout Aelora’s lifetime were minimal.  She was simply too powerful psionically for her memory to not return of its own volition. But G’Kar did not need to know that, did not need to worry just yet.  For now, Aelora could return to her life, rebuild what had been destroyed and begin again, as G’Kar had promised.  Someday, she would be strong enough to face the trials she had experienced and set them aside with her own strength.