EPISODE 8

ON BEING CENTAURI

“But I don’t want to go among mad people,” Alice remarked.

“Oh, you can’t help that,” said the Cat; “we’re all made here. I’m mad. You’re mad.”

“How do you know I’m mad?” said Alice.

“You must be,” said the Cat, “or you wouldn’t have come here.”

Alice in Wonderland

Psychopomp – The Tea Party

You wanted this

So sad to see

The sweet decay

Of ecstasy

And you want it all

A frozen sun

Will guide you there

As shadows hide

The deep despair

I’ll give you something more

And you’ll fade away

One last kiss before

You fade away

So sleep tonight

In idol dreams

The pain will drown

Your silent scream

And you want it all

I’ll give you something more

And you’ll fade away

One last kiss before

You fade away

Lives you once adored

Will fade away

Lies you can’t ignore

You soon repay

As you fade away

Lady Aelora Kyra stared at the pale reflection of herself in the mirror, dreading the coming task ahead of her of putting her hair under the headdress. The numbness had returned to her hands once again and holding a brush while attempting to move it through the tangles proved to be a difficult undertaking. It had been the same since she had taken the first injection of Sleepers that Vir had obtained for her in Down Below, over a week ago. The moment the drug had entered into her system, Aelora realized that something was different about it. Perhaps the dose had been stronger, less pure. Whatever it was, it had caused her hands to lose all feeling from time to time, at other moments it affected her with memory lapses, chills and a substantial loss of appetite. Those symptoms, added to her severe lack of happiness, made her return to Centauri Prime less than pleasant.

Though it had felt good to be back among her family who loved her, Aelora could not help but feel stifled and suppressed. Everything she wanted to speak of, she knew she must never mention. Every thought that passed through her mind caused her enormous amounts of guilt, as if she were somehow betraying her Centauri upbringing. She found herself missing the friends she had made among the Rangers but knew her family had frowned upon her joining the Anla’shok. During her first night back on Centauri Prime, her father spent over two hours listing off the numerous infractions she had incurred during her years away from Centauri Prime, not the least of which was her becoming a Ranger. Working for such an organization was beneath the Kyra family, he had told her, not to mention that it was known by the Centauri government that the Rangers worked in every way possible to foil the Centauri’s control of Narn. Aelora had cringed imperceptibly at the mention of the enslaved world and was then forced to suffer through an hour-long tirade against Tiro and his machinations regarding the Narn. Aelora tried very hard not to think of Narn or it’s people. To do so meant to think of G’Kar and she could not allow herself to do that. It was too soon; the pain of what she had been forced to sacrifice, too fresh.

Yanking the bristles haphazardly through her curls, the Human stood and wandered around her room. Ever since she and her family had arrived at the Palace a few days before, at the summoning of Emperor Cartagia, Aelora had spent more and more time hidden away in the refuge of her quarters. She had known that returning to Court would be a difficult adjustment, but she had not known how much so. Rane had made certain to spread the news of her spying on G’Kar to all of the Kyra’s and others at Court and they were all exceedingly proud of her. Too proud. Their continued congratulations and inquiries were enough to force Aelora to scream. There was no one around her to understand that she had not performed any spectacular feat or patriotic service. What she had done was betray a friend. She had hurt and humiliated someone who had deserved so much more from her. How was she to be proud of this? When she had gone to Terann and told her the truth of her deception -- that she had been forced to make G’Kar believe that she had spied on him in order to save his life -- she had thought that by having someone to share it with would help her to deal with it. Unfortunately, she only discovered that she had suffered from betrayal as well and was left with no one to turn to, no one who would understand or accept her feelings. During the trip from Babylon 5, Aelora had considered speaking with Vir but her trust did not quite extend far enough yet. So she had remained closed off from the others, forcing herself to accept the new life that was before her.

Only it had not been all that easy.

The first few days at home, on the Kyra’s small estate far from the rigors of Court, Aelora had felt that perhaps she could once more learn how to be a proper Centauri. Her days were spent languishing around the gardens, nothing expected of her beyond looking her best and pleasing the Kyra’s, which was easy since Aelora had become much too tired to do much else. But her hopes had been quickly dashed when the Emperor had summoned the family to Court. He had said he wanted to reacquaint himself with Aelora, and hear of her recent act of espionage. Except there had been more to it than that, Aelora was certain the moment she stepped into the palace. She was no longer telepathic but that did not mean her intuition was inhibited. It was immediately apparent to her that not everything was as it seemed around her. The more time she spent around Emperor Cartagia, the more she became certain of this fact and so she had retreated into her rooms.

Luckily, the Emperor’s interest in her had waned quickly. At first he had enjoyed himself making cunning little jabs at the fact that she was Human, that she had served as a Ranger, and anything else about her that could bring shame to her family. But after the first two days, the taunts had become tired and monotonous and the Emperor moved on to other amusements while Aelora took her chance to escape and make herself absent.

Now the only times her peace was interrupted came with surprise visits from her mother or cousin, Rane. The first time her mother had sought her out in the palace gardens, Aelora had been tempted to tell her everything, if only to have someone to talk to. The urge to do so had lessened as the conversation continued and Aelora had her first realization that perhaps the changes she had undergone were too strong for her to ever return to the Centauri she had once believed herself to be. She had been contemplating her place among the Centauri when her mother had approached her.

“There you are!” Lady Kyra had heaved a heavy sigh, stepping beside her adopted daughter. “I should have known I would find you here. You should know, Aelora, that your behavior the past few days has been…inappropriate. Now your father and I understand you must adjust to being back here but certainly it should not take so long, hmmm? This isolation of yours is suspect, I am afraid, and people have been talking.”

People are always talking, Aelora had thought to herself grimly. She then forced a smile. “I am sorry, maman. I don’t mean to disappoint you and father, I am simply…tired, I guess.”

“Well, you had best find a quick remedy,” Lady Kyra informed her, regarding the female before her with a sharp eye. “Now that we are at Court you know that appearances mean everything.”

“Of course mother,” was all that Aelora could think to say.

“I do so wish you would shave your head,” Lady Kyra commented, looking at the red curl that had escaped from Aelora’s headdress critically.

Her hand reached up quickly, tucking the strand back under its cover. Though she knew that only by ridding herself of her curls would she truly begin to forget the life she had begun to live, Aelora was not ready to take such a drastic step. Perhaps some part of her still believed in hope enough to dream that someday she would get another chance, a time to go back among her friends and make things right.

“I promise to keep it covered,” she replied softly, turning away from her mother’s watchful eye.

“Very well. I suppose that will have to do. I had some new gowns ordered for you that should be arriving this afternoon.”

“Yes, maman.”

The Centauri woman reached out and touched Aelora’s arm gently. “My child, surely you know we only want what is best for you? I am so very happy to have you home. This family has not been the same without your smile and laughter.” She paused, reaching out to caress her daughter’s cheek, smiling softly as she recalled memories of Aelora’s childhood. “You have seemed so very sad, though, ever since you have arrived, so very closed off from the rest of us. Is there not anything your father or I could do to make your return more pleasant? Is there anything you wish to talk about?”

So many things! Aelora’s mind screamed out. But how would she react? What would her mother say if Aelora told her that she had feelings for a Narn that she was afraid to consider, afraid that she might discover something that was forbidden? What would she do if Aelora admitted that she had never truly spied on G’Kar, that she had only said so to save his life?

“I…” Aelora began, uncertain of how to respond. She worried her lower lip for a moment, forcing away the desire to trust so soon. “A lot of things happened to me in the past few years, maman, and I might not be the same ‘Aelora’ that you knew. I…after I found Jeffrey Sinclair, well, I found myself thinking about loneliness a lot more. And fear. And the future. And my place in this Universe.“

“Your place is here, Aelora.” Her mother smiled kindly though she could not hide the confusion in her eyes.

“Maybe.” Aelora turned away and started back toward the house, Lady Kyra following along beside her. The Human struggled with how to phrase what she needed to say, finally stating simply, “I don’t know who I am anymore.”

Lady Kyra sighed. “Your father and I were afraid of this. When we heard about your locating Sinclair, we worried how being thrown back amidst your biological father would affect you. You have always been a very sensitive child. When you told me that he disappeared without saying anything to you…well, needless to say if I ever find Jeffrey Sinclair he will regret the day that he was born!”

Aelora refrained from commenting that having a run-in with Jeffrey Sinclair was highly unlikely. “I wouldn’t say that it all stems from meeting him, maman. Like I said, many things have happened. And they all seemed to have culminated on Babylon 5.”

“Perhaps you were affected by your forced friendship with that Narn,” Lady Kyra commented helpfully. “I know that I would never feel quite right again if I had to spend such close proximity with one of those creatures.” She gave a visible shudder. “I just do not believe such a sacrifice of your person was necessary, Aelora. I mean, you did not acquire a very great load of information from it anyway.” She glanced sidelong at her daughter, her voice dropping to a whisper. “It never…touched you, did it?”

Had it always been like this? Aelora found herself wondering, the fury at her mother’s question almost suffocating her. She knew it had though before she had never seen it, never stood outside from it. She had been a part of it. Only a few months before she would have felt such revulsion at the mere thought of a Narn touching her. Now, she longed for a certain Narn to hold her, to run his hands through her hair and refer to her as his ‘beloved’. The tears sprang unbidden to her eyes and blessedly her mother mistook the reasoning.

“Oh! You poor dear!” Lady Kyra exclaimed, wrapping her arms around Aelora in comfort. “Do not worry, child. Here you will never have to be subjected to such horrors again. You are safe now, do you understand?”

Aelora nodded, afraid to speak. She wanted to ask her mother what was so wretched about the Narn, why she hated them so. But to broach such a subject meant taking a step that she did not believe herself strong enough to make. She had already lost so much. She was not about to lose the only family she had left.

But now her solace was about to end. It was very early in the morning, the sun was not to be expected for another four hours, and yet she had just been summoned to appear before the Emperor in the throne room. The very fact that the Emperor had asked for her at all was in itself peculiar, the fact that he had demanded her presence at such an early hour only made the entire situation that much more sinister. There were rumors – and Aelora tried daily to convince herself that they were only rumors – regarding the disappearance of the Emperor’s advisors and now she found herself wondering if she too were not about to disappear and become only rumor.

Knowing that she could not appear before the Emperor in her robes, she took her time in making certain that her appearance was flawless. She knew it meant keeping the Emperor waiting but it was either that or show up with her hair hanging down her back and she was not about to do that. The lack of feeling in her hands made dressing difficult but she finally succeeded in fastening all of the buttons on her gown and tucking every strand of hair under her headdress. Once satisfied with her appearance, Aelora quietly made her way out into the hall and toward the throne room. She tried not to second-guess why the Emperor had called for her and left her face a mask of quiet acceptance.

As she neared her destination, she heard voices from within and a sigh of relief escaped her at the knowledge that she was not to meet with the Emperor alone. She noted that one of the voices belonged to her friend, Londo Mollari, and allowed her pent up anxieties to diminish. If there were one thing of which Aelora was certain it was that she would never come to harm as long as Londo was by her side. For all his odd behavior and eccentricities, he was one of the most loyal beings she had ever known. Aelora even began to allow herself a slight smile when she heard:

“Do you happen to know where Mr. Garibaldi might be?”

The smile froze on her face and her heart began to thud painfully in her chest. That voice. She knew that voice…all too well.

“Who?” The Emperor questioned.

By then Aelora was pushing through the doors, her frantic gaze immediately coming to rest on the sight of G’Kar

…”Roughly translated it would mean…treasured…beloved”…

in chains.

In Valen’s name!

“Ah. It appears Lady Kyra has decided to grace us with her presence,” Cartagia commented with a snide smile. “Come, my lady, and view the surprise I have for you and Mollari. Is it not marvelous?”

It was as if her world had come to a sudden, terrifying halt and all things around her were tossed into the air with the force of it. Cartagia’s cruel chuckling was like a death knell in her ears and she barely noticed Londo tugging on her sleeve, whispering in her ear to remain strong, to be silent, to pretend – for the Great Maker’s sake!! – pretend! And though he pulled her to Cartagia’s side, where she was forced to stand before the prisoner, she could not – would not – look up. She could not face him eye to eye. This was never supposed to happen!

“The mighty Narn!” Cartagia laughed. “Felled by a pretty face! You fell for everything she told you, did you not, G’Kar?”

The Narn remained silent; his gaze fixed on the woman before him. For once he found himself glad for the chains, else he would have reached out and wrung Aelora’s pretty neck while he had the chance. Then they would kill him on the spot and he would not have to remain in the Centauri’s presence a moment longer. G’Kar tried to ignore the fact that the Human appeared paler than normal, her usually bright eyes dim and haunted. He focused on the memory of her betrayal and the continual pain she caused him. His rage deepened.

“Are you not pleased with your surprise?” Cartagia asked Aelora, affecting a disappointed expression.

Still unable to reconcile that everything happening was not a dream, it took a subtle pinch from Londo to get Aelora to reply:

“O…Of course, your majesty. I am…” What was she? Damned? Condemned to burn for eternity in whatever Hell might exist? “I am…most pleased. And surprised.” She attempted to smile but it ended in only a grimace.

The Emperor watched the Human closely, not missing the tiniest bit of discomfort she was obviously feeling. His curiosity was quickly aroused. Why did she refuse to look at the prisoner? Why did she appear ready to collapse? Fear? Was it possible she was afraid the Narn would free himself and kill her for her betrayal? Certainly she was intelligent enough to know that the Centauri would not allow such a thing to occur. What was it then? Perhaps as a Human, she could not stand the sight of others in chains, he reasoned. Cartagia then found himself wondering how she would react to seeing the creature tortured. A smile of pure glee spread across his face. Finally, they would have some fun!

Londo knew that the situation was precarious. Though he trusted himself not to make any life-threatening mistakes around the Emperor, he was not so certain about Aelora. Her expression gave too much away and right now she appeared much like a hunted animal, her eyes wide and full of fear. And Londo knew that fear was not for herself but for the Narn. Because of this fact, he knew he had to act quickly.

“Well,” Londo began boisterously, a cheerful smile on his face. “Though this is very obviously a fine and wonderful surprise, your Majesty, it is late and I know Lady Kyra has not been feeling quite herself lately.”

Cartagia glanced at Aelora in surprise. “Lady Kyra, are you sick?”

“Huh?” Aelora looked up at him blankly, her mind frozen with the image of G’Kar’s battered and bloody face, the hatred in his eyes as he gazed at her. Out of the corner of her vision, she caught Londo attempting to get her attention, an expression of urgency on his face. “Um…yes…headaches mostly, Your Majesty” she replied, reaching up as if to rub her temple although she positioned her hand so as not to see the Narn who continued to watch her.

The Emperor frowned as Londo moved up alongside Aelora and took her arm.

“Here, let me escort you back to your room, my Lady,” Londo urged, tugging at her to follow. For a frightening moment he thought the girl would not listen but then slowly she took a few steps forward. Cartagia continued to watch them suspiciously so Londo waited until they were well out of the throne room before he turned to berate the foolish woman beside him.

“Are you trying to get yourself killed?”

The situation hit her full force and Aelora slumped against the corridor wall, burying her face in her hands. “Oh, Londo! Did you see what they have done to him?”

Losing all patience, the Centauri grabbed her hands, pulling them away from her face. “Yes, I saw the prisoner, Aelora, and that is what you must think of him as – a Narn prisoner! You are on Centauri Prime, in the Imperial Court under the watchful and dangerous eye of Cartagia!” He whispered ardently. “You must forget any association you had with G’Kar on Babylon 5 and view him as nothing more than the barbaric enemy that he is.”

Aelora stared at the man before her in confusion. “But Londo, I can’t – “

“You do not realize what all is going on around here!” Londo hissed, then caught himself before saying too much. He did not want to tell her about the presence of Mr. Morden and the Shadows. It was the last bit of news she needed at the moment. He took a breath and calmed himself before continuing, ”Though I have never held any liking for G’Kar I too can not stand to see him like this,” Londo admitted, cutting off her plea. “But we have no choice. He was the one who left Babylon 5. He was the one who gave up his guaranteed safety. There is nothing we can do now, not without sacrificing our own lives in the process.”

Aelora looked away, unable to stomach the guilt that was running rampant through her. Somehow she was at fault for this, she was certain. The worst of it was, Londo was right. There was nothing that she could safely do or say that would not only jeopardize her life but the lives of her family as well. It was a terrible thought but Aelora found herself hoping that they would simply kill G’Kar quickly, at least then he would not have to suffer through the pain and degradation of torture that the Centauri so prided themselves for. Certainly, his death would destroy her inside but it was still preferable to watching him suffer.

Turning over for what she figured was the twentieth time, Aelora slammed her fist into her pillow before collapsing upon it. Her insomnia had grown intolerable and she found herself wondering how a person who could barely keep her eyes open was still unable to sleep. Upon returning to her room the night before, she had been unable to sleep and then had spent the entire day in the presence of her mother and some gossiping aunts. It had been well over 40 hours since she had last slept and still it somehow avoided her. She rolled back over onto her back, feeling every muscle in her body scream as she did so. Staring up at the ceiling, she came to the realization that tonight like so many nights before she would be unable to rest.

Before her body could protest further, she threw her feet over the edge of the bed and onto the cold tile of the floor. The frigidity served to perk her up enough to enable her to stand, but as she did a wave of vertigo washed over her. Grabbing hold if the bedpost she silently cursed the very abilities that had forced her to take the Sleepers. As she moved past the foot of her bed, she gathered up her robe and wrapped it about herself, hoping to drive away the chill that had enveloped her. Making her way to one of the large windows, she pushed aside the delicate fabric of the draperies to gaze down on the palace grounds. The moon was full and cast a bluish hue on the gardens, beyond that she could see the Imperial City as it too lay in a silent slumber.

Sadly, Aelora turned away from the scene before her, her loneliness weighing heavily on her. Despite every attempt, she still could not understand why she felt so isolated. Centauri Prime was her home, and here was where she always felt she belonged. Yet now surrounded by everyone that cared for her, she found herself longing to be back on Babylon 5. At least there she knew what she was and who she was. Back on the station there was no pretending, no false pretenses, while here she felt each of her actions being scrutinized, every movement was open to question.

She shook her head somberly. Things had changed irrevocably on Babylon 5. Delenn had made it clear that her presence was unwelcome, she had no obligation to Sheridan or any other member of the station’s crew and Terann had betrayed her trust beyond the point of forgiveness. The only person whose devotion to her had never wavered was now chained in some dank cell in the bowels of the palace, convinced that she was a heartless monster.

As her mind turned to the Narn, she felt a familiar pain form in the pit of her stomach. She could not help but blame herself for everything that had occurred, even though she knew this made little sense. From what she understood, from G’Kar’s question to Cartagia, he had left the station in search of Michael. Silently she cursed the Narn for leaving the safety of Babylon 5. She had thought him smarter than that. Surely he knew the dangers of leaving the station. As the last member of the Kha’Ri still at large, he was the most hunted Narn in the galaxy. And now he was nothing more than a plaything for Cartagia, one that he would eventually tire and dispose of.

Aelora’s heart screamed, begged at her to do something to save G’Kar, but she knew that it was impossible. The Sleepers had stolen much of her strength and made her sick beyond comprehension. Even at her best, a Human would be unable to smuggle a Narn off the Centauri homeworld. A single tear fell, as she realized that G’Kar would die and there was nothing she could do to stop it. Not since she was a child, had Aelora felt so incredibly helpless. G’Kar had offered her nothing but kindness and understanding and in his eyes she had reciprocated with hatred and cruelty. To him she was a murderer, a scheming back stabbing Centauri.

You are Human! Terann’s words echoed through her head.

She lifted her head, wiping the tears from her eyes, a new sense of determination settling over her. Quickly she dressed herself, choosing one of the simpler gowns Lady Kyra had purchased for her. It was dark green, a shade that accented her eyes, with a tight fitting unadorned bodice. The skirt was full yet flattering to her shapely figure. Quickly she ran a brush through her hair, refusing to tuck it under the customary headdress. Tonight she was Human, a fact she was determined to convince G’Kar of.

Silently she slipped from her rooms, moving down the darkened corridors stealthily. For a moment she longed for her telepathic abilities, if only to allow her to detect anyone she might encounter. She found her way to the service halls -- corridors set-aside for the servants and not normally used by palace guards.

Coming to the part of the palace that housed the detention cells, she vaguely noted the change in décor. Where other parts of the palace were adorned with vibrant tapestries and extravagant window dressings, this part was darker, more foreboding. The air here was cold, stale and had a distinct smell of excrement. Aelora swallowed hard against her raging nausea and crossed her arms across her chest hoping to drive the chill away. She past several empty cells before arriving at the one that she knew held G’Kar. For a brief minute she questioned her logic and even contemplated returning to the warm safety of her quarters. No, she had come too far and risked too much; she was going to do what she had come to do.

“Can I help you?”

Aelora was pulled from her reverie by the guard stationed outside of the Narn’s cell. “I…err….”

He took a step towards her. “You cannot be here.”

Aelora’s mind moved quickly. In deciding to come here she had not considered how she was going to get into G’Kar’s cell. The guard would certainly know that she had no authority to be here and she knew he would inform Cartagia of her infraction. An idea coming to her mind, she quickly pasted an irritated look on her face.

“What do you mean I can’t be here?” She demanded, her voice clear and confident. “I was asked to be here.”

“By whom?” It was clear the guard was not buying her act.

“Emperor Cartagia.” At the change in the guard’s demeanor, Aelora continued, her self-assurance mounting. “That animal in there seems to think I care for him, and the Emperor believes I should play along. You know how stupid the Narns can be; this one especially.”

The guard narrowed his eyes in disbelief. “And you were sent here at this hour?”

“Of course. Only a true friend would come this late. Personally, I can think of a hundred places I would rather be than surrounded by that thing’s stench. But I guess we must all do our part.”

“I was not informed that you were coming, I can not let you in unless I have the proper clearance.”

“Not informed?” Aelora asked her voice thick with exasperation. “Such incompetence is intolerable. This will not amuse Emperor Cartagia. What is your name?”

At Aelora’s demand, the guard began to exhibit true fear. “Err…Dramen. Please… My Lady, I do not see any need to involve the Emperor. You may go in.”

She forced a grateful smile. “Thank you Dramen.”

Aelora then allowed him to open the door for her as she entered the cell. Once the door shut behind her, she took a moment to look around. What light spilled in the window from the moon did little to illuminate the room, and for that she was grateful. The air was damp and stagnant making the floor slippery. Carefully she stepped over to where G’Kar lay apparently sleeping. His body trembled, though she was unsure if it was from the cold or from the injuries he had endured so far. She was about to speak his name when he rolled over to face her.

At the realization of who was present, G’Kar jumped to his feet. “You!!” He growled. “Get out!!”

The young Human took a step back from the hatred now being projected at her and all confidence that she had melted away. “G’Kar, please… “

“I said leave!!” With a strength that shocked both of them, he lunged at her, knocking her to the floor. Everything in him screamed at him to lash out at her, to hurt her as she had hurt him, to make her scream outwardly the way she had made him scream inwardly. But as she continued to lie there unmoving, he began to wonder if he had in fact hurt her already. Mentally he shook his head. Aelora was not that weak. She had been trained as a Ranger and he was certain that she could take more of a beating than that. In his mind he was convinced that she was once again toying with him. It was a game he refused to play and silently he turned his back on her.

As she lay silent on the floor, every inch of Aelora’s body screamed in pain. G’Kar had not hurt her directly, but his blow was all her body needed to give out on her. For too long she had denied the harm the Sleepers were doing to her and now she feared that the damage went far beyond what she imagined. Slowly she pulled herself from the cold, wet floor hating to leave the solace it offered. Gone was her certainty and in its place was the now familiar feeling of desperation and helplessness. She had felt his rage, seen the anger her very presence provoked. How was she going to reach him? How could she ever get him to listen? She had seen his anger, felt the depth of his contempt for her, both here and on the station. She began to think she was fooling herself into believing that anything she could say or do would truly make a difference.

NO! She chastised herself. She was not going to be deterred. She had grown tired of giving up and running away when things got tough. Her body working valiantly against her, she willed herself to standing. With her head still spinning she moved over to where G’Kar stood and timidly touched his arm.

“Please, G’Kar….”

The Narn spun on her, his arm raised as if to strike her, but at the last moment he held himself back. The woman before him was not the woman he knew. Her face was sallow and her usually bright eyes were sunken and dull. Even her long red hair looked limp and lifeless. He could not understand what had happened to her to make such a startling change in her so quickly. He began to fear that her adoptive parents had seen fit to punish her for her involvement with the Minbari and the Rangers. His concern for Aelora’s welfare both shocked and angered him. How could he allow himself to still care for such a contemptible being? Her betrayal of him he could overlook but she had been responsible for the deaths of three of his people. Three people who were doing nothing more than trying to help their world. His anger returned quickly but his calm remained.

“What do you want, Lady Kyra?”

“I wanted to tell you that I’m sorry.”

G’Kar looked at her incredulously. “You are sorry? You are sorry!? Sorry for what? Sorry that you did not kill more of my people? Sorry that your charade did not last longer?”

“Please G’Kar,” she begged. “It isn’t like that. I didn’t intend for any of this to happen, I was trying to protect you.”

“You are mad.”

“Yes, G’Kar, I am mad. Mad that I can’t tell you the truth. Mad that no matter what I say or what I do, everything goes to hell. Mad that I had to lie to you and to myself about how I feel about you.”

“Oh yes, Lady Kyra, you care so deeply for me. You must truly think I am a fool if you expect me to believe you see me as anything other than a mindless animal meant to do your bidding. You come here, attempting to appear Human, hoping to win my pity with your act. I have seen what you are capable of; I have felt the pain of your betrayal. I will no longer play your games, or that of your precious Emperor. Now leave!” With that G’Kar once again turned away from her.

Determined to prove him wrong, to show him that she was telling him the truth, to make him understand, she grabbed his arm hoping to pull his attention back to her. Instead he whirled around pushing her back to the cold ground.

“I told you to leave, Centauri whore! Go back to your slave driving family and your murdering Emperor.”

Slowly Aelora pulled herself from the floor truly fearful that G’Kar would indeed hurt her. Every inch of her body ached, but it was nothing in comparison to the pain she felt inside. The kindest creature she had ever met believed her to be a soulless murderer and she could see no way of making him believe otherwise. Without a parting word, she moved to the door and knocked gently, alerting Dramen that she was ready to leave. If he was aware of her pain, he did not show it. Instead he allowed her to pass in silence.

Once she was safely away from the cell, Aelora collapsed against the corridor wall. Her tears and pain flowed from her unfettered. It was as if someone had opened a floodgate inside of her and she had no hope of fighting against it. Every kind word that G’Kar had ever uttered to her, every act of compassion he had offered came back to her with a vengeance. In her mind she heard herself speaking horrible, unthinkable things. Words filled with venom and hatred, words that she desperately wanted to be able to take back. But she had come too far, done too much damage and she knew that there was no way she could ever bridge the gulf between them.

Bringing her knees up to her chest Aelora buried her face in her hands, willing the nightmare that had unfolded around her to disappear. For a long time, she sat there unmoving, ever aware of the attention her sobs could bring. She knew that if she were discovered here she would have no hope of explaining herself. No one here would ever understand and even trying to explain would be a wasted effort. She wanted, desperately, to find someone to talk to. She longed to voice, if only once, her true feelings and the real reasons behind her behavior. But here there was no one. Her parents had made if perfectly clear that they did not even wish for her to speak of G’Kar again. Londo was too wrapped up in his own affairs, and Vir, though he appeared trustworthy, she was still unsure of. For the briefest of moments she considered contacting Terann but then quickly dismissed the notion. She was not yet that desperate.

Once again the feelings of loneliness and despair settled over her, leaving her feeling cold and empty. Resigning herself to her isolation, the young Human slowly rose to her feet. She wiped the remaining tears from her face and took a moment to straighten her gown.

Making her way back to her rooms Aelora knew she must look dreadful, her eyes red and swollen, her skin pale, and was thankful that it was still relatively early. The palace was dark and silent as most were still sleeping off the previous night’s libations and she was certain she would make it back to her rooms unnoticed.

“Trouble sleeping?”

Aelora cringed at the voice that had spoken from the shadows, once again cursing the Sleepers for robbing her of the protection of her gift. Slowly she turned, hiding her revulsion and replacing it with a look of subservience.

“Majesty, I did not….”

Moving toward her he shook his head and tsk’ed at her sarcastically. “You look upset.”

Mentally Aelora cringed. Cartagia always came across as being less than masculine and his sarcasm only added to his flamboyance. Aelora shook her head. “I am fine; tired, nothing more.”

“Really?” He asked, crossing his arms across his chest. “So it was not something that the Narn said to you?”

The young woman did an admirable job of hiding her shock and in doing so affected a look of innocence. “I don’t know what you are talking about, Majesty.”

At her lie, Cartagia moved quickly to backhand her across the cheek, causing a red welt to form quickly. “Dare you to call me a fool?”

“No, Majesty…I…”

The Centauri shook his head, bringing a gloved finger up to her lips to silence her. He moved to circle around behind her, eyeing her with an undue curiosity. In her mind, Aelora tried to think of a thousand reasons for her visiting G’Kar, especially at this hour. She chided herself harshly for being so careless, for not staying in her rooms as good sense dictated. Why was it she so often allowed G’Kar to cause her grief?

“It is a shame…” Cartagia said softly from behind her, pulling Aelora from her reverie.

“I’m sorry?” She asked, not knowing if he was commenting to her or to himself. As she turned to face him, she noticed the way he was looking at her and an unpleasant feeling washed over her; nothing that she could put her finger on, just the belief that this was more than a chance meeting.

“It is a shame that we really do not know each other,” he commented, reaching out to take a red curl between his fingers.

“Yes it is,” Aelora agreed less than enthusiastically, cringing inwardly at his touch.

He gave no indication that he noticed her dry tone; instead he started off toward an adjacent corridor. “Come,” he instructed, gesturing for her to follow. When Aelora remained where she was, a look of confusion on her face, he repeated his demand, this time more harshly.

As Aelora fell into step beside him, his anger quickly melted to be once again replaced with his usual boy-like joviality. As they moved through the palace, Aelora only half listened to his mindless prattle. Mostly it centered on himself and the conquest of the Narn homeworld. When speaking of the latter, he seemed keenly interested in her replies and she made every effort to appear to be the proper Centauri he expected. Inside, however, her feelings were quite the opposite. She remembered standing on the dry, pockmarked surface of the Narn homeworld only months before, remembered the buildings that had been reduced to rubble and the lifeless feel of the soil at her feet. As the memories flooded back to her, it became increasingly difficult to keep her face neutral. Cartagia apparently noticing this became increasingly graphic in his descriptions, telling her of the Narns that he, himself, had so greatly enjoyed executing.

When he came to a particularly brutal recounting of how he had tortured the young daughter of one of the Kha’Ri, while forcing the father to watch, Aelora found herself cringing visibly. The Centauri cast her a sideways glance, clearly showing her what he thought of her repulsion, yet he did not comment. What ever he wished to say he would when the time was right. Coming to a doorway at the end of the corridor, he slowed his pace, smiling frighteningly at Aelora before opening it. He stepped across the threshold first then moved to allow the Human to pass.

Aelora hesitated, every ounce of her being telling her not to follow, that doing so was a grave mistake. But how could she defy the Emperor so blatantly? To do so would only ensure her family’s fall from favor, and her possible death. Begrudgingly she stepped inside the room, wincing as the door eased shut behind her, effectively cutting off her only means of escape.

“Come in please, Lady Kyra,” Cartagia directed, when Aelora continued to linger at the doorway. He moved over to a small table, upon which a bottle of Bravari sat, allowing Aelora to explore the room. It was comfortably cluttered with trinkets from all corners of Centauri Prime. Against one wall stood a large statue of some ancient Centauri god whose name Aelora could not recall. As she stepped over to it to study it closer, a row of paintings caught the young woman’s eye. Something drew her to them, and as she got closer she instantly regretted doing so. Each picture was a depiction of various forms of torture. They seemed to be carefully arranged in some sick manner, those that merely maimed to the left, and the obviously fatal ones to the far right.

“Fascinating are they not?” Cartagia commented, his enchantment very plain. He handed her a goblet full of Bravari, then hooked his arm around hers to begin explaining the finer details of each image. As the narration became more horrific, Aelora gulped her drink, hoping to drown the nausea that threatened. So determined to numb her mind to the terrifying images, she did not notice the subtle difference in the taste of the drink in her hand.

“And this one is my favorite,” he told her, coming to the last picture on the wall. Aelora stared at the painting before her, her mask of horror a complete contradiction of Cartagia’s delight. It was very old; the colors in the paint having faded with time, and Aelora found she was grateful for this small mercy. It consisted of a being suspended several inches above the floor, around him a small group of men stood. In the hand of one of them was a long pole with a metal device attached to the end. On the ground below the victim was a pile of indistinguishable matter. At her apparent confusion at what she was seeing, Cartagia informed her, “That is his flesh. You see this device was used to tear the skin from its victim. At first only a layer or two was removed, but the longer it was used the deeper it cut. Through fat, and muscle until finally it reached bone. A true master could prolong the suffering for hours.” He paused for a moment, studying the portrait. Then suddenly he dropped her arm, pulling away from her like a child about to share his deepest secrets. “Here, let me show you something.”

He bounded off across the room, leaving Aelora to gaze after him in shock. Quickly she finished her drink, and then followed him across the room. When she got there, he handed her a metal device. It had an ornate handle connected to a c-shaped attachment. The ends of the attachment held a sinister looking blade. Carefully she ran her thumb across the blade, noting that it had been carefully serrated. She cast a confused look at Cartagia, who quickly took her hand in his.

“Here let me show you,” he said, maneuvering her fingers until the device was positioned properly within her hand. “Now, if you hold it like that it will remove a small strip of skin slowly… ever so slowly.”

As he spoke, Aelora became barely cognizant of his gently rubbing the back of her hand. All of a sudden her mind felt spongy, as if everything were moving in slow motion and she still had to race to keep up. She could not blame it on the Bravari, as she was certain her tolerance was beyond the small amount she had imbibed. She quickly dismissed the sensation as yet another side effect of the Sleepers. Dropping the device on the table she pulled away from him, hoping to regain what little control she had over the situation. “Where did you get it?”

Putting the device back in it’s case and returning to the bottle of Bravari, he answered, “It was a gift, from my grandfather. I believe it is Drazi.” He handed her another glass then focused a dark stare on her. “You see, some people collect trinkets and ornaments from dozens of worlds. Me? I collect horrors. I find a certain comfort in them, really, to know that I alone control the destiny of a single individual. I can prolong their suffering, or end it quickly. It is all up to me. I find it becomes a challenge, seeing how long I can keep someone alive, or how pathetically I can make them beg. It is not really that horrible, once you have done it a few times. After all, it is not like they do not deserve of their punishment.”

As much as she tried, Aelora knew that she had not hidden her alarm at his admission. A million images flashed through her mind, all involving the horrid things that had been done, and most assuredly would be done to G’Kar before his execution. She saw each of the images hung on the wall again in her mind. But this time the faceless victims were replaced by G’Kar making each atrocity seem that much more gruesome. She spun around, drinking voraciously from her glass, taking comfort in the way it burned her throat. Almost instantly she felt a strange rush wash over her, and she suddenly felt dizzy. She stumbled to a nearby chair, collapsing into it, too unaware of her surroundings to notice the satisfied smile that spread across Cartagia’s face. Clenching her eyes shut, she pleaded for the room to stop spinning, trying to fathom what had caused this sudden exaggeration of the effects of the Sleepers. When she opened her eyes again, she was surprised to see Cartagia kneeling before her. In his hand he held a glass of, what she assumed to be, water. She took the drink from him, sipping at it gingerly in the hopes of keeping herself from vomiting.

“Are you all right, Lady Kyra?” He asked, his voice full of concern.

“Yes… I… I am fine.” She forced herself to answer. She managed to pull herself into a more erect position, blinking hard against the harsh lights of the room. In reality the room was only faintly lit, but to the Human it was as if every sense was both dulled and accentuated at the same time. The madness that swam around her infiltrated her mind, breaking down the barriers that she had so carefully built during her time on Centauri Prime. All her repulsion at the Courtiers, her animosity towards the dictates her parents had placed on her, even her displeasure with Cartagia himself screamed to the forefront. She could not begin to comprehend how it was the Sleepers that were causing this to happen. But what else could it be? She wondered, glancing around the room in desperation. Her eyes suddenly fell on the bottle of Bravari, and then moved back to the glass within her hand. Piece by piece the puzzle fell into place and with as much venom as she could muster she spat at Cartagia. “What in the hell have you done to me?”

“It is a test, nothing more.” He almost laughed.

Aelora summoned every ounce of strength that she had left to push herself from the chair and to her feet, attempting to brush past the Centauri. Unfortunately, whatever he had slipped into her drink made her movements slow and clumsy, making it easy for him to prevent her passage. He grabbed her arm and twisted it behind her, pulling her close so that her back was pressed tightly against him. With his free hand he brushed her long red curls aside to expose the pale skin of her neck. For a moment he allowed himself to look longingly upon the woman he held in his arms, watching as her breasts heaved as she struggled against him. He tugged forcefully on the arm he held; showing her that he was the one in control.

He breathed heavily into her ear. “You only make it worse by struggling, Aelora. I have no intention of hurting you as you are much too valuable to me alive.”

As the dizziness returned her struggles stilled and she found it hard to remain on her feet, forcing her to relax even further into his grasp.

Obviously mistaking her weakness for some sign of concession, he whispered once again in to her ear. “That is better. You see we do not have to be enemies.” He lowered his lips to her neck, brushing them against her. When she recoiled from his touch, he pulled hard on her arm once again, forcing her to emit a cry of pain. “Do I repulse you, Human? Does the idea of my attraction to you disgust you? Or would you rather it was a Narn doing this to you?”

At his last statement, he pushed her forcefully away from him onto a nearby sofa. Her slowed reflexes did not react fast enough for her to escape him as he came at her again. She pulled her arms to her chest in a vain attempt to defend herself against his assault, and as she did so he grabbed her upper arms and shook her violently. “Foolish Human,” he chastised. “You can not resist me, so why risk doing so? I could have a dozen guards in here in mere minutes to tear you limb from limb for being a Narn collaborator. Can you not see that I only wish to get to know you better, to share something with you, and perhaps let you earn my forgiveness for your relationship with that Narn.”

Aelora stared at him in disbelief, fighting back the tears that had formed in her eyes. “Then why did you drug me?”

“Tsk, tsk my dear Aelora. As I have been witness to your acting abilities on several occasions you must know that I cannot trust you to be honest with me now. That drug, as you call it, does little more than break down the barriers in your mind, it desensitizes you, makes you more open to coercion. You see, Aelora, I remember all too well what you were like as a child. I, myself, remember teasing you for your compassion towards those that were clearly beneath you. For a time many of us were convinced that it was a phase that you would grow out of, simply a Human trait that with the proper training would be eliminated. I must congratulate you, as you have fooled almost everyone… Except me of course. I saw the horror in your eyes when you saw the Narn in chains. Tell me, is it just him or have you become sympathetic to his entire race?”

Aelora pulled her eyes away from his, willing herself to remain silent. Every ounce of her longed to voice the truth, if only this once, even if it meant that he would follow through on his threat to execute her. Unfortunately she knew he would not stop there. With cousin Tiro’s dishonor still hanging over the Kyra house, she knew that Cartagia would not be satisfied with only her death.

Noting the mask of dread on her face, Cartagia forced himself to appear sensitive to her situation. “It is okay, Aelora,” he told her drawing her into his arms. “I understand that you have been misled. You are Human and clearly that and the Minbari’s influence over you has done more harm than I imagined. You have reverted to that scared little girl that I once knew, hiding behind her mother’s skirts. For this you cannot be blamed. Instead we should feel pity toward you for allowing yourself to be deceived by so many. You have forgotten your place; forgotten what it means to be a proper Centauri. Perhaps it is a lesson that I should re-teach you.” He then allowed his eyes to travel the length of her body before adding, “It is a shame you are not truly Centauri, but then I have always been good at improvising.”

Aelora found herself recoiling from him once again, but his hold on her was too tight. He buried his face in her neck once more, kissing gently at first then harder as his arousal grew. He shifted his hold on her, so that one hand held her slender wrists while the other was free to explore her body. As he continued to devour her neck, he moved his hand to cup her breast, fondling her roughly through the delicate fabric of her bodice. As she once again struggled against his hold on her, he slapped her hard against the face, sending her backward. He came at her again, placing his left hand on her shoulder, using his right to grasp the neckline of her dress before pulling down on it violently. The delicate fabric tore easily exposing Aelora’s breasts to his ravenous gaze.

Aelora found herself screaming out against the assault on her body, but the combination of fear and the drugs she had been given reduced her voice to almost nothing. She knew that her ability to struggle against him would not outlast his strength and she slowly found herself conceding to his will. She focused her thoughts on blocking out the horror that surrounded her. If he wanted her body, he was free to take it, but she would not allow him to harm her mind. Such was her determination, that she became barely cognizant of his hand as it moved up her thigh until it brushed against the thin fabric of her undergarments. She heard him moan in her ear, as he tore the cloth from her and aggressively plunged a finger deep within her. Though their differing physiology made it impossible for him to penetrate her, he quickly found other ways of expressing his desired control over her body.

And so he continued to ravage her body, ripping her dress from her if it got in the way, slapping her hard if she did not react appropriately or refused to touch him as he instructed. Slowly it became clear to her that his own pleasure was not his intent. Rather he made every attempt to dehumanize her, degrading her so that she would accept, more easily, his authority over her. As his physical assault on her continued, so did his verbal assault. As his hands moved over her body, his words were whispered harshly in her ear, telling her that she should be grateful to have earned his attention, that many others would happily take her place and that she was no better than they were. His words were intermingled with occasional threats, ranging from what he would do to her if she failed to perform, to grisly descriptions of what he was planning to do to the Narn. He made every attempt to prove to her that it was only out of kindness and pity that he allowed her to live and that he was willing to do away with her if she continued in her apparent dissention toward him.

Only after he was fully satisfied that she had learned all the lessons he had wanted to teach her, did he finally release her. Pulling himself from her, he took a moment to straighten his clothing, before casting a glance back at the young woman. He watched dispassionately as she fumbled to piece together the torn remnants of her gown. He could tell by her expression that she now understood where her loyalties belonged and how foolish she had been to consider opposing him. Once she was sufficiently covered he opened the door to the chamber and summoned a nearby palace guard.

“Please return, Lady Kyra to her rooms,” Cartagia instructed, a demented smile on his face. “It appears that her tolerance for Bravari is somewhat less than I expected.”

The guard nodded in compliance apparently accustomed to escorting Cartagia’s late night visitors to their rooms and knowing better than to ask questions. He then moved to take Aelora gently by the arm and guided her to the door. As they passed the Centauri Emperor he reached out take the Human by the arm. Drawing her near once again, so that his lips brushed against her ear he whispered. “Remember Aelora… Remember everything.” He then nipped her earlobe lightly before pulling away from her and allowing the guard to take her from the room.

Allowing herself to be led through the palace, Aelora for the most part was in a state of shock. Her body had been battered and bruised; violated and degraded in ways she did not think possible. She wanted to cry and to scream, wanted to rage against those that had put her in this situation to begin with. But most of all she wanted back all the control that had been stripped from her. Sadly she realized that the longer she stayed on Centauri Prime the more she became Cartagia’s pawn. Yet there was no escape, nowhere left for her to go. She had alienated herself from everyone that had ever cared for her, and for what? To have her mind, body and spirit broken by the whims of a mad man? To be manipulated like a puppet by her parents? To play the games that she had always played knowing in the end that she would not come out the victor?

Arriving at her rooms, she did not offer any thanks to the guard that had helped her; instead she entered quietly immersing herself in the darkness, hoping to find some solace in it. She made her way to the adjoining washroom; her head still reeling from the narcotics Cartagia had given her. Once there she pulled the tattered remains of her gown from her body and stepped into the shower, allowing the scolding hot water to wash over her. Violently she scrubbed at her skin, soon causing it to become red and raw, hoping to rid herself of the horrid feeling of filth that covered her. Sorrowfully she realized that the nauseatingly foul sensations lay far deeper than her skin. It reached to the very core of her being and as far as she could see, she had no way of ridding herself of them.

The timid knocking became insistent enough that Aelora finally roused herself from the mattress and stumbled toward the door. After she had taken her fourth injection of Sleepers the night before, she had spent the last few hours before dawn vomiting uncontrollably until she had thought for certain that she would cough up a lung or her stomach. When the first droplets of blood had appeared, she had forced herself to calm down and relax. She spent the next two hours curled into a fetal position on her bed, attempting to convince herself she really was not as sick as she appeared. Her stomach had finally settled but she remained weak and shaken from the experience.

She opened it to find Minister Virini standing before her, an expression of discomfort written across his face.

“Oh Lady Kyra! I am so sorry to disturb you!” He instantly apologized and before he spoke Aelora knew what he was going to say. “But Emperor Cartagia has asked for you to join him and the rest of the Court.”

Aelora ran a hand over her face in frustration. She was not in the mood for this today. She had spent the day before hidden in her room unable to face anyone after the horrific time she had spent under Cartagia’s attentions. The last thing she wanted was to be forced to be near the Emperor again, she did not know if she could once more be subjected to his touch. “Tell His Majesty that I really am quite ill and will be unable to join Him today.”

She attempted to close the door at that but Virini, in an uncharacteristic show of aggressiveness, pushed it back open. “I am sorry, Lady Kyra,” he said sadly. “But His Majesty insists. And I do believe you should not go against His wishes,” he commented pointedly.

Aelora sighed. She found herself wondering how His Majesty would react if she vomited blood all over his royal garb. Maybe once that happened, he would simply let her be. Even though she figured more of the opposite would be true.

“Very well,” she consented. “I will join the Court shortly.”

The Minister seemed pleased with her acquiescence and turned away to hurry back to his Emperor. She closed the door quietly then leaned heavily against it, willing herself to find the strength to dress. Silently, she prayed that Cartagia would leave her alone today, that he would find some other means of amusement. Every moment since his twisted rape of her person, Aelora had relived those terrifying moments under his power again and again. She feared being alone with him again, feared being forced to submit to him once more. But he was the Emperor, and she was the loyal subject. It was a game she knew she had to continue to play if she were to keep the House of Kyra alive.

It took Aelora the next forty minutes to get ready to appear in the Emperor’s presence, being forced to sit down and control her dizziness two separate times. When she was finally dressed in proper gown and jewels, her hair hidden neatly away under her headdress, she slowly made her way toward the Throne Room, stopping occasionally to catch her breath or calm her racing nerves.

As she neared the room, Aelora could already hear the raucous laughter and snide jeers of the Court. She hesitated contemplating heading back to her room, ignoring whatever dictate the Emperor had set before her, when Minister Virini appeared around the corner. Upon seeing her, he hurried her way, reaching out for her arm and pulling her toward the doorway.

“Hurry, my Lady,” he prompted her. “His Majesty has been asking for you.”

Aelora wrestled with her fear and moved through the ornate entrance into the room. At first, everything appeared as usual. Court members lounged around the room, drinks in their hands, whispering ribald jokes to one another, flashing false smiles and well-thought out pleasantries. The façade around her sickened and disgusted her and Aelora found herself once more questioning her place on Centauri Prime when Cartagia called out to her from across the room:

“Ah! Aelora! How good of you to join us!” He bounded across the room, ignoring the Courtiers who attempted to catch his eye, and moved up alongside the Human, wrapping his arm possessively around her waist. “I was beginning to worry,” he lied, digging a sharp object into her side hard enough to cause Aelora to cry out. Courtiers nearest to them glanced over at the sound but a quick look from their Emperor caused them to scurry away. He focused his gaze once more on the young female before him.

“Have we not had enough discussions about your obedience? I tire of teaching you this lesson, Lady Kyra.” For emphasis, he shoved the intended weapon into her once more, holding her so that she could not move.

Aelora felt the sharpened point of the object prick her skin, causing a tiny stream of blood to trickle down her hip. She forced back the sudden desire that rose up in her to revolt. It was obvious that His Majesty was in an ill-tempered mood that morning and she knew it would not be wise to prod it further.

“I am sorry, Your Majesty, but I was not properly attired to appear before you,” she apologized meekly. She glanced up at him, her gaze wide and innocent. “My only wish is to appear beautiful for Your Majesty. Desirable. Is that wrong?”

Cartagia’s eyes narrowed as he considered the game she played. He decided that it was time to raise the stakes, to show her once more which one of them were in control. It was obvious his earlier lesson had not been remembered. He stepped back, smiling, spreading his arms wide. “But my dear, you can not convince the Court that you do not simply wake up in the morning looking as magnificent as you do now!”

Aelora forced a grateful smile at his dishonest compliment, her eyes quickly searching his hand for the identity of the weapon with which he had pierced her. Cartagia followed her gaze, smiling widely when he saw that it had found its mark.

“It is a dart, my Lady. Certainly you know what that is. After all, darts are a Human sport.”

The Human frowned. She had seen darts before, on Babylon 5 in many of the various bars located around the station. It involved throwing tiny hand-held missiles at a board on which was drawn a bunch of circles and numbers, the smaller the circle, the more points. Aelora could not understand what interest the Centauri would have in such a game and her confusion must have shown on her face for Cartagia stepped forward, taking her hand in his.

“Come, Lady Kyra. Let us see what kind of marks you can make.”

Aelora glanced around at the Courtiers who burst in to laughter at the Emperor’s comments, wondering what it was that they found so amusing. Cartagia led her through the throng of guests, who parted before them as if on cue and there before her was a sight she knew she would never forget in a lifetime. G’Kar’s arms were tied to nearby pillars, pulled out from his sides so as to provide the largest expanse of his back. They had removed his shirt and on his skin had drawn a crude version of a dartboard complete with numbers. The most sickening aspect of the entire spectacle were the four darts still sticking into G’Kar’s flesh and the thin rivulets of blood which streamed down his back. From where she stood, Aelora could clearly see the numerous marks where other darts had hit their target on the grotesque board. Her knees trembled, threatening to give out on her, and the nausea that she thought she had rid herself of returned with a vengeance.

“Marvelous, is it not?” Cartagia whispered into her ear. “Who would have ever believed that the Earthers would have invented something useful?” He chuckled over his little joke then tugged on her hand once more. “Come. I want you to say hello to the prisoner.”

Aelora planted her feet firmly into the ground, refusing to allow him to pull her further. “Why? I have seen the prisoner. Why should I want ---?”

“Because I want to!” Cartagia demanded, cutting her off. He yanked hard on her hand, pulling her against him, their faces only inches apart. “You will say hello to the prisoner and you will behave as I tell you, is that understood?”

Aelora nodded obediently, her heart thumping wildly in her chest. It appeared that the Emperor was less stable today than even the other evening. She knew that being in his presence at the moment was a dangerous place for her. She allowed him to lead her around the nearest pillar until she stood in front of G’Kar, though she refused to look up at him. She could already feel his eyes on her, and knew that they were not watching her with kindness or love. She felt Cartagia move in closely behind her, his body pressed up against hers, his arms wrapping around her waist. He leaned his head close to her ear, his breath sickeningly warm against her skin.

“Laugh. Smile at him.”

Aelora knew that to respond to such a demand was impossible. She could not even bring herself to look at G’Kar, let alone mock and humiliate him. She only shook her head meekly.

“You will show him that no one cares what happens to him, not even the resident Human, or I will be forced to find evidence that Lord and Lady Kyra were involved in Cousin Tiro’s treason,” he hissed once more against her ear.

Aelora closed her eyes against the feeling of hopelessness that rushed through her. Was there no end to the madness? What kind of monster had Londo and the others placed on the Centauri throne?

Cartagia’s hold on her tightened painfully. “Look at him,” he whispered furiously.

Aelora slowly lifted her eyes until she met G’Kar’s gaze. He was watching her, just as she had known he would be, and his expression was unkind, almost hateful. She wanted nothing more than to drop to her knees and beg his forgiveness for everything that had been done to him, for the horrible person she had been but Cartagia poked her once more in the back with his dart, prodding her on. With her last reserve of strength, she forced a smile. Cartagia whispered something rude and degrading into her ear and she laughed lightly, while his hands roamed across her bodice, squeezing her breasts cruelly as he traced the outside of her ear with his tongue. He laughed with the ferocity of a spoiled child who lorded his good fortune over that of others less fortunate while he occasionally announced, in a crude manner, what he was going to do to Aelora once more when he got her alone. And through it all, as bit-by-bit Aelora withered away inside, G’Kar’s gaze never left hers, the blazing hatred burning into her soul.

“Now, my Lady,” Cartagia announced happily, obviously bored with his current antics and ready to move on to other amusements. “It is time that you show us exactly how to play this game!”

The Human pulled back further into her mind, numbing herself to the activities around her in which she was about to take part. She tried to recall one of the many stories she had read, but none came to mind. She attempted to sing a song to herself, but could not remember the words to any of them. When Cartagia finally set her in the appropriate distance from the target and handed her the dart, she did little more than toss it through the air, so that it landed two feet from its mark.

“Tsk, tsk.” Cartagia retrieved the dart and moved back to Aelora. “Certainly you can do better than that. Here, let me give you a quick lesson.”

He moved behind her, laying his right arm over hers, placing the dart between her fingers and then holding it with her. “Now,” he instructed. “You have to take careful aim,” he said, pulling her arm back in a position to throw. “And you have to use force or it is not going to make it. If you do not throw hard enough, it can even bounce off.” He toyed with her the next few moments, tensing as if to throw and then changing his mind, until she finally felt him pull back and then thrust forward with more strength than was needed.

Aelora closed her eyes as the dart flew out of her hand. She heard the sickening thud as it met its mark and the hiss of pain that came from G’Kar as it entered into his back. Cartagia bounced like a child who had won his first competition, applauding and egging the Courtiers on to try and beat his score. Someone called out for him to do it again.

“Ah but I need to retrieve my lucky dart.” He turned to Aelora, his expression vividly showing his enjoyment. “Lady Kyra, would you mind retrieving it for me?”

The room grew silent and Aelora immediately realized it was a test. If she backed down now, if she refused to go along with his cruel game then it would mean the destruction of the House of Kyra. It sickened her that the fate of her entire family rested on the decisions she made and whether or not Cartagia believed her to be loyal to him.

Cartagia was too busy studying his fingernails to notice the girl’s discomfort. “Aelora, I am waiting.”

The first few steps were the most difficult. It felt as if it took her an eternity to reach him. And when she finally did, everything inside her wanted to reach out and touch him, to heal his wounds and undo the damage that had been done. They were watching her though, watching her every move and every expression and every breath.

What else could she do?

Aelora pulled the dart out quickly, spinning around to head back to the Emperor when she heard a voice ask:

“Do you lick his boots for him as well?”

G’Kar spoke loudly enough for the room to hear and the comment angered Cartagia so that he grabbed a club from the nearest guard and moved over to hit the prisoner hard in the back. Aelora backed away from the scene, moving as the Courtiers crowded around the Emperor to watch as he meted out the punishment the arrogant Narn deserved. Once she reached the doorway, she turned and ran as fast as she could from the insanity in the Throne Room.

She ran past Virini who only watched her silently with an expression of sympathy. She ran past the corridor that would have led to her rooms, past the Imperial Guards who were coming in to replace those who currently stood at the Emperor’s side. She ran until she reached the Imperial gardens, finally coming to an abrupt halt by the fountain. Aelora simply stood there, her breathing labored from her exertion, her heart racing, and her mind numb. One minute became two and time quickly passed around her until a gentle hand reached out and touched her shoulder.

“Lady Kyra?”

Aelora blinked at her name, snapping out of the fog that had wrapped itself possessively around her mind. She turned to find Vir watching her, his eyes filled with concern.

“My Lady, I saw you running through the palace. Are you all right?”

She tried to form a coherent reply to the question but found she as of yet could not speak. It was then she realized that she still held Cartagia’s dart in her hand and she held it out to him.

“I am damned,” she said simply, turning back toward the fountain.

Vir looked down at the offending object, the inch long tip of which was covered in blood. He tossed it into the nearby bushes and moved up beside the Human.

“You can not be blamed for the madness around here, My Lady. It envelops all of us. It’s like a disease, threatening to consume all of Centauri Prime.”

Aelora shook her head, wrapping her arms around herself as if she could somehow stave off the chills that had begun racking her body. “It consumed me long ago, Vir. And I fear there is no cure. In the end, I shall be as mad as He.”

The Aide shook his head. “Oh no you will not. You are stronger than that, my Lady. Remember I was on Babylon 5 when you and that Minbari tried to destroy one another. I know how strong you are!”

She smiled at him though it did not reach her eyes. “Not anymore, Vir. You know that. If I were, I would not stand by while He…” She trailed off, unable to voice the atrocities Cartagia had committed. Finally, she shook her head. “No, Vir. I cannot escape this. Tiro warned me and I fear he was right. The fire shall consume me. There is no other way.”

She fell to silence then, lost in her thoughts.

Vir truly worried for the young female beside him. He did not believe she belonged there, wished there was some way to convince her of the same, to make her return to Babylon 5 where she would be safe. When he had first come to her on the station and she had asked to accompany him back to Centauri Prime, he had believed it would be the best thing for her. After all, was it not always refreshing to return home to the ones who love you? Sadly, he had quickly learned that such had not been the case for Aelora. From the moment she had stepped foot onto the soil of Centauri Prime it seemed as if all of the life had been drained from her. The beautiful, vibrant young Human he had met on Babylon 5 had become a pale, lifeless shell for whom there seemed little hope of rejuvenation.

“Do you lick his boots as well?”

The figure in the painting turned to look at her and Aelora let out a scream as the faceless being suddenly became G’Kar, suspended from the rafters over a pile of his own flesh. Cartagia was laughing madly beside her as he reached up with his torture device and dug deeply into the muscle that was exposed, blood flowing down the Narn’s stomach from the wound.

Aelora turned to run from the room but found no door. G’Kar soon joined in on Cartagia’s laughter and the sound reverberated through her head. She begged them to stop but the insanity continued and Aelora felt herself being pulled down into the mire. Pain tore through her stomach and she looked down to see a chunk of her own flesh ripped from her body. Realization washed over her and she screamed as she swung from the rope that held her suspended in the air. G’Kar stood in front of her, wielding the wicked Drazi device, his laughter still flowing.

“Do you lick his boots, Lady Kyra? Well do you? You cannot run away this time…

“There is no running away from here…”

Aelora bolted upright in bed, the last echoes of a scream dying in the silence. She remained still, the erratic sound of her heartbeat thrumming in her ears. It was only a dream, she told herself silently. Only a dream.

She lay awake in her bed the next few hours, staring at the canopy above. She knew it was early; the sun had not yet risen. It had been impossible to shake the nightmare enough to regain her slumber. Her heart continued to speak to her in her dreams though her mind refused to listen and she was once more left with little more than vague images and a stifling impression of terror. The day before had been bad, the worse day of her life so far she figured and she knew it would only worsen from then on out. To watch G’Kar being forced to deal with such humiliation and degradation was beyond bearable. She actually found herself thankful for the Sleepers as they inhibited her emotions, calmed her. Without them, she might have given herself away. It was difficult not to cry over something as simple as the cold expression in G’Kar’s eyes when he looked at her. And if she had to be subjected to one more torture session she would certainly lose hold of her sanity. The question was what could she do about it? Aelora knew she held little power in the Centauri court and she certainly could not ask her family for help. That left Londo. But would he agree? She knew that Londo and G’Kar had never been allies, let alone friends, so how would she get the Centauri to agree to help her set the Narn free?

A sharp pain in her left temple broke her concentration and she squinted her eyes shut against the pain. Great Maker! Another migraine. She pressed her fingertips tightly against the area, willing the pain to go away. The headaches were coming more frequently and with greater strength as each day passed. Another side effect of the Sleepers she figured, and knew there was little she could do about it. Aelora only hoped the pain would go away before she was expected to appear at Court. She could not allow her weakness to be seen by the Emperor. It might be foolish and arrogant of her but something told her he would only feed on her illness, drawing strength from it like some parasite.

A fiercer pain in her right temple caused Aelora to finally get out of bed and pad over to her dresser where she kept a small vial of pain reducers. They never worked completely but she knew they would be enough to slightly dull the pain, allowing her time to concentrate on more immediate problems, such as the imminent execution she was certain G’Kar would face if she did not get him off of Centauri Prime. Knowing that her only hope lay on the shoulders of Londo Mollari, Aelora carefully dressed herself, painstakingly tucking her curls under her headdress and exited her quarters, her vial of pain reducers tucked away in her gown.

The palace was quiet, most of the Courtiers sleeping off the drink they had greedily imbibed at the Emperor’s most recent late night revelry. The silence reminded her of the first few days she had been without her telepathic abilities, when the smallest nuance around her seemed emphatically out of proportion. These thoughts quickly brought Terann to mind and Aelora found herself wondering how the Minbari was and what adventure she was most certainly wrapped up in. Aelora expected to feel anger and hurt at the thought of the alien telepath but was surprised to find she only felt sorrow at the loss of such a close friend. She found herself wishing Terann was with her now, to help her save G’Kar and, perhaps, talk her out of taking another injection of the Sleepers. The Human quickly shook her head. No, she could not do that, even if Terann insisted. She had made a promise to herself, a promise she meant to keep. It did not matter that the most harm she had caused someone had been with words, not telekinetic powers. Aelora winced at the thought. G’Kar may never forgive her, of that she was certain, but she would not rest until she at least saw him free and knew in her heart that he was safe.

Aelora snapped out of her musings to find herself already at Londo’s door. She knocked once, waited, and then knocked again, louder than the first time. She heard grumbling behind the door, followed by an angry, “I am coming!”

She allowed a small smile as the door opened and Londo blurted, “Do you realize what time it – oh! Aelora. What are you doing here?”

“May I come in? I need to speak with you.”

“Certainly, certainly, my dear.” Londo stepped aside, allowing her to enter, and then quietly closed the door. “Can I get you something to drink?”

“No. I won’t be long.”

Londo held out a chair for her to sit down and then sat across from her on the couch. “Now then, what brings you to my quarters at such an odd hour, hmm? Could it be that you came to the realization that I am all you could want in the Universe and you have come to offer yourself to me?”

That brought a smile to her face. “Really, Londo. You wouldn’t know what to do with me if I had.”

The Centauri chuckled. “Well, that is the truth. You are an enigma, Aelora. Which is why, I suppose, I should take certain precautions before you speak.” He stood, withdrawing a tiny device from the pocket of his robe and waved it around the room. It took a moment before Aelora realized he was searching for listening devices. Once he appeared satisfied that they were safe, he retook his seat and fixed a knowing gaze on the Human. “This is about G’Kar, is it not?”

For a brief moment, Aelora was tempted to excuse herself and quickly leave. She was uncertain about revealing too much. What if Londo were not the person she believed him to be? What if he truly was loyal to Emperor Cartagia? She took a deep breath and finally nodded. “Yes. How did you know?”

“My dear, I may be a bit eccentric but I am not a fool.” He paused, and then warned, “And neither is the Emperor.”

Aelora glanced up at him sharply. “What do you mean?”

“Your eyes are like a window into your soul, Aelora. I see what you feel more clearly than perhaps you yourself do.” He shook his head. “Luckily Cartagia is Centauri enough not believe that anyone could ever truly care for the well-being of a Narn or I would be sitting here having a conversation with a headless corpse.”

Londo did not realize how close he was to the truth, Aelora thought. “It’s that obvious?” Aelora swallowed hard against the fear that was rising in her.

Londo nodded. “To me it is. But then, I saw you and G’Kar back on Babylon 5. I know that you have grown close to the Narn –“

“But I was spying – “

“HA!” Londo laughed heartily at that. “Anyone who knows you would know you are incapable of such perfidy. The eyes, you see. They give you away too easily.” He stood and moved over to the bar where he poured himself a glass of Bravari. “Certain you could not use a drink?”

Aelora shook her head; still in shock that Londo seemed to know so much about her. It’s always the person you least expect, she thought for a moment. She rubbed at her temples briefly, the throbbing returning with greater strength. “We have to get him out of here,” she spoke finally.

“You seem to forget one minor obstacle – Cartagia does not want to let him go.”

“But certainly there is some way –“

“I am sorry, Aelora, but you ask the impossible. G’Kar should not have left Babylon 5. He opened himself up for this.”

Aelora jumped to her feet. “I can not simply stand by while that monster destroys him!”

Londo turned to regard her kindly. “I do not see that you have a choice, Aelora.”

“Londo, please.” She took a step toward him when the room suddenly spun out of control and she lost her balance. Londo dropped his glass in time to reach out and catch her before she fell to the ground. He helped her over to the couch where he gently laid her back against the pillows then quickly jumped up to get her a glass of water.

“Aelora, are you all right?” He asked as he lifted her head to help her take a sip of the water.

She nodded, squeezing her eyes shut against the pain that was shooting through her head. “It was just a dizzy spell.”

Londo sat back, eyeing her warily. “You do not lie well, you know.”

Aelora opened her eyes, fixing her gaze on him. “I’m not lying.”

“I can not help you if you do not allow me to,” Londo sighed. “Since when did you begin closing off anybody and everybody from your life?”

“Since I learned that I can do nothing but hurt those who care for me.”

“Such fatalistic words for one so young.” Londo stood, returning the glass to the table then focusing his gaze once more on the prone Human. “Anyone can see that you are ill, Aelora. You are pale, your eyes are glazed over half the time and dim the other half, you are listless, you always have headaches and you simply are not yourself. Now, most of the Court believes this is simply the behavior of a weak Human, so you have them fooled. But not me. If you do not tell me what is wrong – and I believe you know – then I will have to fetch the Emperor’s personal physician.”

“No!” Aelora sat up quickly, her cheeks flushed from the exertion of the move. “I will not allow them to pry!”

“Aelora – “

“Londo, there are things about me that I would rather the Emperor not know, of this I am certain you understand.”

“Ah.” Londo nodded in understanding. “I see. Is this illness of yours due to the recent events that you suffered?”

The Human shook her head, falling back against the pillows once more. “No, I don’t believe so. I…You know that Sheridan demanded that I take Sleepers if I were to remain on Babylon5, don't you?” At the Centauri’s nod she continued. “When I went to get my second injection from Dr. Franklin he ran some tests and said that the Sleepers seemed to be affecting my body negatively. He encouraged me to refrain from taking another dose but I insisted – I found I didn’t want to deal with my newfound abilities anymore than Sheridan did. I was afraid of harming, possibly killing, anyone else. I knew that they were adversely affecting me…I could feel it. But I realized it didn’t matter, not as long as the people around me were safe. When it became apparent that I had to leave the station, I knew that I could not stop taking the Sleepers, I could not allow the Centauri government to know of what I could do. So I asked Vir to get a supply for me from Down Below. Right after the first dose, I knew there was something different about them. They may be of a stronger dosage or perhaps less pure – I don’t know. But I have come to a final realization, Londo. I…I believe the Sleepers are killing me.”

“What?” Londo appeared disbelieving.

“I’ve had time to think about it and I believe it may have something to do with the changes the Shadows made to me, that perhaps they did it on purpose to discourage me from taking Sleepers. Or something like that. Whatever it is, I am fairly certain that I will only be able to take a few more injections before my body will shut itself down completely – “

“Then you must stop taking them!” The Centauri demanded.

It seemed so simple. Aelora shook her head. “I can’t.”

“What do you mean ‘you can’t’? Is it an addiction? We can take care of that!”

She reached out and touched his arm gently. “I’m afraid, Londo. Afraid of losing control, of becoming the monster that they tried to create. I don’t want to be that. I want… I want to be someone my parents would have been proud of. And… if that means making the ultimate sacrifice to protect those around me, then so be it. But before that happens, I need to know that G’Kar is safe.”

“Why so much caring for the Narn and so little for yourself?”

Aelora looked away at that, unable to voice the truth, unable still to say the words aloud. “I care for him,” she answered finally. “I care for him more than I can explain. And if it takes my life to save his than so be it!”

Londo sighed, running a hand over his eyes. “That will not be necessary. I have already made plans with G’Kar. I can not go into detail about it with you, for safety’s sake, but suffice to say that G’Kar will be free and Centauri Prime will be rid of Cartagia.”

The Human’s eyes widened at that but she said nothing, knowing it was safer to leave the riddance of Cartagia unspoken. “You are not lying to me? You really have these plans?”

He nodded. “Yes. I did not want to tell you because the fewer people who know, the safer we are.”

“I understand.” She closed her eyes once more, welcoming the pain of her headache for the first time, relieved that it was the only problem to occupy her mind at the moment. Aelora had faith in Londo, faith that he would do as he said. She could almost believe that G’Kar would be safe now, if only he could continue to hold on until the plans came to fruition.

“You need your rest, Aelora. Please, rethink this taking of the Sleepers. I will look for a way to get you away from Centauri Prime, where you will be safe.”

“And where would I go, Londo? I have no home but here. I was dismissed from the Rangers, I am hated by those on Babylon 5…all I have are the Centauri and they I can not trust.” She laughed without mirth. “I’ve really made a mess of it, haven’t I?” Carefully Aelora pulled herself up and climbed to her feet. “Don’t look at me like that, Londo. I am fine. I am not going to keel over in your quarters. I will go back to my room and rest until I am summoned to once more sit at the Emperor’s feet and watch as one of the kindest beings I have ever met is tortured and humiliated by ‘my people’.” She kissed Londo softly on the cheek. “Go back to sleep now if you can, old friend. I will see you in Court this afternoon.”

Londo watched silently as the young female disappeared into the palace hall. It terrified him to know that Aelora believed what she said – she was dying and she welcomed it. What had happened to the bright, spirited young woman he had known? He wanted to blame G’Kar for this change in her but he knew that the Narn was only a factor and not the cause. No, the few times he had spied Aelora and G’Kar together, she had appeared happy and full of life. He could not understand the female’s strange attachment to the Narn, but then he was Centauri and perhaps never meant to understand. And then it occurred to Londo that possibly the change in Aelora was attributed to the fact that she was finally beginning to realize she was Human and not Centauri. Maybe she was on her way to becoming the person she truly was.

If only she would survive long enough to see it.

Aelora lay curled up in the fetal position in a corner of her room. Another bout of chills followed by a crippling migraine had sapped her strength so much that she had not been able to make it over to her bed. So she had curled up on the floor, silently praying to whatever gods might be listening to make the sickness that plagued her go away. Unfortunately, either she was being too quiet in her prayers or no one was listening.

A knock at her door roused her from the light sleep that had temporarily encompassed her. She ignored the summons at first, not wanting to participate in yet another one of Cartagia’s sick performances. The knocking became more insistent, as if whoever it was knew that she was in there and simply ignoring them. She considered telling them to go away but had not the strength to shout. Carefully, she pushed herself up to her knees then used a nearby chair to climb all the way to her feet. She wavered at first as the expected dizziness washed over her then finally regained control of her equilibrium and moved toward the door.

Her cousin Rane was the last person Aelora expected to see. She immediately went to slam the door on him but he stuck his hand out and caught it before she could.

“That is not very friendly of you,” he commented.

Aelora made a face. “I don’t remember having any desire to be friendly to you, Rane.”

“That is why I am here. May I come in?”

Aelora was ready to reject his request but he pushed through the door, moving past her then turning to watch her as if waiting to see what she would do.

Aelora sighed and closed the door. What was she supposed to do beyond summoning the palace guards? And that would not get her very far. She walked over to the divan, keeping her mind focused on not showing any weakness but she felt her cousin’s gaze focused on her the entire way. It was not until she had finally seated herself that he spoke.

“One moment.” Rane took a slim device out of his coat pocket, one that Aelora was becoming accustomed to. It seemed everyone in the palace was prepared to find listening devices but her. She quickly realized she needed one as, after his search of her quarters, Rane located five. He tossed them to the ground, demolishing them into bits with his foot, then returned his attention to Aelora.

“You are ill.”

Aelora laughed at that. “And what makes you believe that?”

“The whole Court is talking about it,” he informed her, moving a chair closer to her before sitting down. “They say being among the Humans too long did it to you.”

She rolled her eyes at that. “And what do you believe?”

He did not answer her but instead asked a question of his own. “What are you doing here, Aelora?”

“These are my quarters,” she replied evasively.

“You know what I mean.” Rane shook his head. “Do not ignore the question. What are you doing on Centauri Prime?”

“Don’t you know?” She asked with a glare. “It is your fault, after all. I was comfortable on Babylon 5. I had a good life, an exciting job, and friends. Then you made me lose --- “ She cut herself off quickly, realizing she was about to say ‘lose my best friend’. “Break my cover,” she continued. “And all hell broke loose. I was tossed out of the Rangers, hated by everyone there and left with no where else to go but here.”

“You can not continue to blame everyone but yourself for the things that happen around you, Aelora,” he commented. “You have a lot more control over your own destiny than you seem to understand.” He paused, and then added, “You do not belong here, you know.”

She laughed bitterly. “Of course I don’t. Are you just now seeing that? I don’t belong anywhere, if the truth be known.”

“That is not true,” Rane told her, his gaze searching hers. “I saw you back there on the Earther’s station. I was jealous. You seemed…comfortable. At peace.”

“So you decided to destroy all of that?” Aelora asked with a frown.

Her cousin shrugged. “Possibly. Maybe I just wanted to get back at you for always being a better Centauri than I was. You were you know, as a child. It makes me shudder now to think of the way you could rouse the student organizations into the desire to make war once more on the Narn. The Kyra’s were so very proud of you.”

Aelora felt a chill run down her back at the memory. It was true that she headed one organization after another in the promise of the annihilation of the Narn race when she was a young girl. She had even been given the honor of speaking before Emperor Turhan in the plea to wage another war and wipe out the Narn homeworld once and for all. The bile rose in her throat at the memory of the Narn skin purse her father had given her as a gift for being a key supporter in the law to execute any Centauri caught in business dealings with a Narn under the guise of treason.

“Then you left,” Rane continued, his gaze never leaving hers. “And you…changed. It was inevitable, I guess. I mean, no matter how hard you tried, no matter how many speeches you made or how bright the hatred for the Narn glowed in your eyes, nothing ever could change the fact that you were not Centauri. You never could be. You were born Human. It was inevitable that it would finally catch up with you.”

Aelora took a deep breath, narrowed her eyes. “What are you trying to say, Rane?”

He ignored the question. “Emperor Cartagia does not trust you, you know. Truthfully, he does not trust anyone. But you…you are still an outsider to him, no matter what you try to do to make him believe otherwise. And that makes you dangerous.” He blew out a sigh, rubbed his hand over his eyes. “Actually, he really does not trust any of the family. Ever since Tiro…” Rane trailed off, looked up at Aelora, his expression open. “I…do not blame Tiro for what he did anymore…I wonder…”

“Wonder what?” The female prompted.

“I wonder if he did not know something we do not.” He was silent for a long moment then, “You were never really spying on that Narn, were you?”

Aelora’s heart skipped a beat. She was silent, attempting to calm her nerves, fearing that she may have already given herself away. It was a trap! This whole conversation was just some trap! “Why would you think ---?”

Rane held up a hand silencing her. “Do not bother to deny it. I can see the truth in your eyes. Oh, no need to panic. I am not going to tell Cartagia. The Kyra family is on the edge with him as it is. This sort of information would not bode well for us. Besides, your G’Kar is already facing his punishment…as I am certain you are too.”

Aelora began worrying her lower lip, wondering when Rane had suddenly gained such intelligence and what he meant to do. She worried that he would attempt to make things worse for G’Kar, even if he could not touch her specifically. She refused to trust him, not after everything that had happened, not after everything he had caused her to lose. Aelora tried to think of a fitting lie to tell him, to pull him away from the belief that she had betrayed the family, but unfortunately nothing came to mind. Her thoughts were a jumbled mass of confusion all held together within the midst of a pounding headache.

“I wish you would leave here,” Rane said finally.

Aelora glanced at him sharply. “And just where would I go?”

He shrugged, standing. “You know, I have never been to Minbar.”

What brought that up? She wondered, staring at him.

“What is it like?” He asked.

“Beautiful,” she replied truthfully. “You should see the City of Tuzanor. It is breath-taking.”

Rane nodded. “You can not go back there?”

“I do not belong there.”

Rane turned away at that, heading toward the door. Opening it, he glanced over his shoulder at her. “The House of Kyra will fall, Aelora. We can not save it.”

“I don’t understand.” Aelora struggled to stand, facing him defiantly. “Don’t come here and speak to me in riddles, Rane. You destroyed everything I held dear once. I will not allow you to do it again.”

“It has nothing to do with us any longer, Aelora. Do you not see that?” He shook his head sadly. “Get away from here, cousin. While you still can. You are not Centauri. You do not need to be a part of this.”

“Rane ---“

He closed the door before she could finish her sentence, leaving her alone in the pervading silence, her mind awhirl. She and Rane had never been close and strangely, she found herself regretting that oversight. Perhaps if she had known him better, she would have understood what he was trying to tell her. She moved over to the door, careful to lock the latch against any unwanted intruders. Pressing her forehead against the cool wood, Aelora pondered her cousin’s perplexing behavior. She wondered what had suddenly caused him to forgive Tiro and why he believed it so important for her to leave Centauri Prime. Why did he care?

Her brow furrowed as she pulled away from the door and moved to her bed where she stretched out across the comforter, resting her head on her hands. Why had he asked about Minbar? It was rare that Centauri ever cared what other worlds were like. After all, to the Centauri people Centauri Prime was the most beautiful planet that existed so why should they ever care to stray? Aelora frowned at the thought. Was that what he had meant? Had Rane been telling her that he was leaving Centauri Prime? The thought seemed wrong to her somehow and yet…it all made sense. If he were truly worried about the status of the Kyra family along with that of his own life, then why should he not run away?

Worry of the unknown slowly crept over Aelora. If Rane feared for the future enough to leave his home, then the situation was much worse for the Kyra family than Aelora had believed.

It was well past midday, and the gardens were effectively deserted. Aelora had found a quiet corner, one of her favorites from when she was a child, and attempted to seclude herself. She knew the Emperor had requested her presence for some reason or another, but she had grown tired of bending to his will. If she could remain undiscovered, if only for another hour, she knew she would be safe. It was the way with Cartagia. He would soon become bored of hunting for her and find something else to occupy his attention. She knew she would be chastised for her disobedience, but the small satisfaction that he had still not conquered her fully was well worth any punishment he could impose on her.

And so she remained, hidden away, as she had so many times as a child, realizing how things had come full circle. Sadly she admitted that there had been a time when she would have been with the other courtiers dutifully at Cartagia’s side, hanging on his every word, basking in his greatness. She realized how naïve she had been, how arrogant and blind. A sharp pain pierced through her heart as she began to think that she had not simply been an unconscious victim to all the Centauri conditioning she had been subjected to from such an early age. She began to consider if in fact she really was a horrid person looking for something to blame for her callous brutality. What if all the awful things she had said and done really did have some foundation in her soul? Was she really damned, as she so often believed? She felt the tears return and like so many other times she forced them back, aware of the floodgate that she would open in releasing just one of them.

Reaching out with her hand, she fingered a pale pink flower where it grew in the shelter of the Jhawa tree she sat under. Carefully she touched the delicate petals, longing to feel the life coursing through them. Instead the fragile bloom felt numb beneath her touch, as if it lacked any substance. Slowly she began to fear how much she had truly lost in coming home and wondered if she had anything at all left to gain. As memories of her childhood flooded back her, she remembered the countless hours spent in isolated gardens, much like this one. She recalled how the flowers and trees had sung to her in their mystical voices that only she could understand. And mostly she remembered hiding those special secrets deep inside herself, where no one would dare to look, for fear of what would happen if they were discovered. Once again she was a confused and frightened child hiding and praying that those who supposedly cared for her would not harm her again.

“There you are, Aelora.” The annoyed voice behind her pulled her from her reverie, once again blanketing her in the cold reality around her.

“Maman,” she said quickly, rising to her feet and brushing the dirt from her gown. “I am sorry, I did not…”

“No, Aelora, apparently you did not,” Lady Kyra retorted, her frustration at her daughter quite plain. “Emperor Cartagia has had the palace turned upside down looking for you. You do remember that he asked to see you?”

“Yes, Maman… I mean… “ Her mothers anger was quickly causing her to become flustered.

“Then why are you here?” Lady Kyra demanded. “And just look at you.” With that she began brushing the front of her daughters dress in an attempt to make her more presentable.

“Maman… Maman… “ Aelora pleaded as her mother spun her around and began brushing the back of the gown in the same fashion. Finally Aelora whirled around, shocking her mother by her brashness. “Maman, I will… that is, I can not appear before the Emperor today.”

“Nonsense.” Lady Kyra laughed without humor. “Of course you can, and you will… or so help me young lady, I will…”

“You’ll what?” Aelora spat at her, backing away from the woman before her. “You’ll send me to my room? You’ll make me shave my head? HA! There is nothing you can do to me that can even compare to what has already been done.”

The Centauri studied her daughter for a moment before allowing a timid laugh to erupt. She quickly covered her mouth and composed herself. “Aelora, dear, you have always been so over dramatic.” She stepped toward her daughter to once more begin tugging at her gown. As she did so she began to shake her head in disapproval at the young woman’s gown. It was rather plain looking, with a high neckline. The shape was relatively unflattering as instead of accentuating her breasts it served to conceal them. Even the color did little to flatter her. “Really Aelora, you should wear something more suitable if you are going to be seen about the Imperial Palace.”

“I hate to parade about, being gawked at by everyone.”

“Aelora, you are a beautiful young woman. You should not hide the things you have been blessed with. Besides, they are not gawking at you… exactly. They know that the Emperor fancies you, and well that is something you should be proud of."

At this Aelora snorted derisively, but anything she thought to say was forgotten by a hard slap across her cheek. “Do not take me for a fool Aelora. I have seen your behavior in court, seen how you look upon the Emperor with disgust. By what right do you loathe him so? What has he done to you, aside from showing you where your proper place is?”

Aelora studied the woman before her, her heart begging to tell her about her encounter with Cartagia, only nights before. She longed to tell her the real reasons for her contempt for the Emperor, but sadly she knew it was not possible. At best she would be called a liar and be instructed not to fabricate such wild stories. At worst her mother would tell her that such things were to be expected in the Centauri court and the fact that Cartagia had chosen her above so many other should be considered an honor. So instead of speaking the truth, she merely worried her lip knowing it was the only way to maintain the weak hold she had on her raging emotions.

Mistaking her daughter’s continued silence for acquiescence, Lady Kyra smiled. “You see dear? Things are not as bad as you make them out to be. Perhaps if you made an effort, to get to know the Emperor, you would see that he is not as horrid as you seem to believe. Now let me fix your hair for you.”

Numbed by her mother’s continued lack of concern for her obvious upset, Aelora allowed herself to be guided to a stone bench. There she sat quietly while her mother ran her fingers through the mass of red curls. She took little note of her mother’s continued comments about her recent behavior and how disappointed both she and her father were. She ignored the continual reminders of how the house of Kyra was falling out of favor and how her defiance was only serving to further their shame.

Pulling hard enough to cause a small whimper to erupt from the human, Lady Kyra commented. “I really wish you would give up this attachment to your hair. It is not healthy. I remember how nice it was when you finally let us shave your head. You looked so pretty -- a proper Centauri girl. I can do it again for you, if you like.”

“No, thank you,” Aelora muttered softly.

Securing Aelora’s hair in place, Lady Kyra finished by replacing the young woman’s headdress. Moving to stand in front of her daughter once again she sighed in displeasure. “I still believe you would look much better without all that hair to deal with. Perhaps your father should have a talk with you.”

Aelora cast a fearful look up at her mother. She was all too aware of what a talk with her father entailed and it was not something she wished to endure again. It had been once such conversation that had led to her head being shaved the first time and even now, after so many years, she could still feel the sting of his hand against her skin, could still feel the humiliation of his hateful words. If only to appease her mother and avoid a confrontation with her father she said meekly, “I will consider it.”

“Good.” Lady Kyra nodded, and then took the young woman by the hand, pulling her to her feet. “Now come, it will not do to keep the Emperor waiting. And do try not to look so unhappy. We do not need to give the others another reason to speak ill of us.”

Aelora allowed her adoptive mother to lead her through the palace corridors towards the awaiting Emperor. As they made their way through the palace, the Human tried desperately to numb herself to the upcoming encounter fearful of what Cartagia had planned for her. Did he simply wish to parade her about like a spoiled child with a new toy, or was it something else, something more ominous? As the peals of laughter of the courtiers reached her ears, she felt herself bristle. She had become accustomed to such sounds of joviality and knew that they usually signaled something horrid.

Catching sight of the young Human as she entered the throne room, Cartagia leapt from the dais he had been lounging on, to bound across the room taking Aelora’s hand in his. He pulled her away from her mother possessively, much to the vexation of the other young women present. It was clear from their expressions that they were not impressed with the Emperor’s interest in the Human.

“Aelora, how kind of you to join us,” he almost sang, giving her hand a painful squeeze. “I have something I want to show you, something that I have been eager to share with you.”

The woman did her best to hide her trepidation behind a pleasant smile. “What is it your Majesty?”

“Oh it is too marvelous,” he told her, his grin malicious as he wrapped his arm around her. “But not here… Come.”

A handful of royal guards fell into step with the couple, leaving the courtiers to speculate on what it was the Emperor wished to show the young woman. Once away from the others, Cartagia dropped much of his usual charade and regressed to his more typical self.

“I should have you beaten for your continued defiance,” he threatened.

“Perhaps you would prefer to rape me again,” Aelora spat back with as much venom as she could muster.

The blow across the face that she received in response sent her hurling forward into the wall of the corridor. Before she could escape, Cartagia came at her again, grabbing her by her slender neck, holding her immobile. With barely held in check anger, he placed his mouth close to her ear. “You would do well to hold you tongue, Lady Kyra, before I have it removed. You will put an end your continued defiance or I will end it myself.”

“If you intend to kill me then why don’t you and be done with it?” She replied through clenched teeth.

He pulled her head from the surface of the wall, only to force her back causing her head to impact with a sickening thud. “As I told you,” he whispered darkly, “you are much more entertaining alive.” With this he let her go watching as she teetered unsteadily against the wall. Dispassionately he grabbed her hand, pulling her roughly against him, wrapping his arm around her once again. “Besides, I have enjoyed your company. Have you not enjoyed mine?”

If her head were not spinning so violently, Aelora would have been inclined to laugh at his feigned pout. But as it was she was too weak to risk another of his lessons so she answered submissively, “Of course, Majesty.”

With her deference, he smiled broadly and resumed the journey through the corridors. Their course led them through the heart of the palace before taking them to the cell area. A wave of nausea spread over Aelora as her mind began to imagine what kind of horror he was going to expose her to next.

Coming to a door the cortege came to a stop. “Close your eyes,” Cartagia instructed the clearly distraught Human in an almost giddy tone.

After considering him fearfully for a moment, she reluctantly did as he commanded. She heard the door open almost silently and felt a cold breeze against her cheek. As she was pushed forward into the cell, she was almost overwhelmed by a repugnant stench. She swallowed hard to keep herself from vomiting, clenching her eyes shut even tighter, not certain she ever wanted to open them. As she was maneuvered around the room, she attempted to note anything that would give her an indication of what Cartagia was planning.

Once again he was beside her, his arm draped around her shoulders. “Okay… Now!”

Slowly she opened her eyes, blinking hard against the darkness. Her gaze immediately fell on a table at the center of the room. It was over two meters long, carved from some kind of stone and atop it, clad only in a scrap of cloth, was G’Kar.

Aelora nearly cried out in shock and terror, at the revelation of what Cartagia had wanted to show her. The Narn was strapped to the pallet, his arms above his head, his legs slightly spread. With what little he was wearing Aelora could see fully the extent of his injuries. His body was marked with severe cuts and bruises from the beatings he had received since his capture. Yet on his face was the same clarity he always carried. It was as if nothing they did to him would ever harm him. In his mind he was untouchable to them and she could tell from the change in Cartagia’s expression that this was a fact that frustrated him to no end.

“Is it not wonderful, Lady Kyra?” Cartagia asked, taking her with him for a closer look at the prisoner. As she resisted he reassured her gently. “It is all right, really. He is quite secure in this contraption. Normally he would be completely nude, but I would not wish to offend you. I, myself, find Narn anatomy to be… quite interesting.”

“Wh… what are you going to do?” Aelora asked more out of fear than any real desire to know.

Cartagia saw the apprehension on the Human’s face and quickly tightened his hold on her, drawing her near enough so that only she could hear. “I hope there is not another problem, Lady Kyra. If there is I am sure the guards can quickly help you solve it.”

Picking up on his threat, Aelora quickly shook her head. As much as she dreaded playing witness to whatever it was Cartagia had planned, she also feared for her own safety and that of her family. From the expression on the Centauri’s face, she could tell that he was not ready to dispose of the Narn yet. The same could not be said of herself. The rage she saw in his eyes was enough to convince her to go along with him, if only for the time being.

“Good,” he whispered, still holding her possessively. “Now, you will do as you are told, or tonight we will begin your lessons again and we will keep repeating them until you get it right. I hope I am understood.”

A crushing wave of dread washed over her at his warning and she nodded imperceptibly. Never did she wish to feel his hands on her skin or the sense of utter powerlessness as he took from her as he saw fit. As Cartagia pulled his eyes from hers, she followed his gaze back to G’Kar. Aelora noted with horror that the Narn’s gaze was fixed firmly on her. What she saw in him saddened her more than she thought possible. Aside from his obvious hatred she also saw disgust, as if she repulsed him with her very presence. She then considered the Centauri at her side, his arm wrapped casually around her shoulders as if she were not unlike any other Centauri concubine. How far did he truly believe she had fallen? She wondered. Or worse, did he honestly believe that she had always been like this? A simple whore to the Emperor?

Cartagia noted the look of loathing on the Narn’s face as easily as the Human did. However, unlike the woman beside him, he saw something else, something that told him that his façade only betrayed half the story. Beneath his anger and hatred there was an unmistakable desire. It was so plain that he could not believe that the Human did not notice. Perhaps it was her own distress that had blinded her or even her own dread at what he was now planning to do to the Narn. Whatever it was he found he did not care, but he would exploit it and would enjoy doing so immensely. He gave the woman beside him a vicious smile then moved over to a narrow table sitting against the wall.

The Emperor’s absence gave Aelora a few minutes to study the Narn without being constantly scrutinized. She moved her eyes slowly over his battered form, allowing herself to take in the full extent of his injuries. She winced as she studied his chest. His breathing was labored and this came as little surprise to the Human as she figured many of his ribs were fractured. She found herself longing to place her hands upon his beaten body, to summon those gifts stolen from her by the Sleepers, enabling her to heal him, if only to show him that she truly was not the monster he believed. Remembering the feel of the flower from the garden, Aelora found herself swallowing back her tears knowing that even with Cartagia only steps away there was still no way for her to help him. For a moment she lifted her eyes to meet his, which were still focused on her hatefully. She realized with dread that it was not Cartagia, the guards or even the dread of what horror would be inflicted on him next that was the center of his attention. It was she. She the one that occupied his thoughts, she was the one that was the object of all his anger and hatred. The weight of this revelation hit her with the force of a fist and she found herself stepping away from him, desperate for a place to hide, if only to relieve herself of his gaze.

The Centauri Emperor seeing Aelora’s retreat stepped in behind her wrapping an arm around her, bringing his mouth close to her ear. When he spoke, however, he did so in a way so that everyone present would hear.

“Did he upset you, Lady Kyra?” He asked her with false concern. “We cannot have him upsetting our precious, Aelora. After all that you have done, to bring glory to the Centauri Republic. Perhaps it is time you taught him a lesson.” Ensuring that the Narn was watching, he placed a gentle kiss on Aelora’s bare neck, then surreptitiously brushed his hand across her breast as he snaked his arm from around her. If his action bothered her, Aelora made no indication, instead she simply stood silently, attempting to numb herself for what was to come. Cartagia moved beside her, holding something indiscernible in his hand. It was wrapped in a delicate dark colored fabric and from the way he held it, it was clear that it was of some value to him. Holding it out for the Human to see he carefully unwrapped it, exposing the one thing she had hoped she would never have to see again. By it’s finely crafted handle and its frightful blade, she knew instantly what the Centauri was planning.

“Do you remember this Aelora? I showed it to you that night you spent in my chamber.” He ran a finger longingly down her arm, as he stepped away from her to stand closer to the Narn. “Remember how I showed you how to hold it and how to use it?”

Aelora felt herself begin to shake, as she watched Cartagia lower the instrument so that it was barely touching the skin of G’Kar’s thigh. The Emperor watched her intently, gauging her responses and she knew he would not hesitate to punish her severely if she were to speak out against him. So again, like the proper Centauri girl, she remained silent. Every nerve in her body burned as if on fire as she heard the gruesome blade tear through the skin of G’Kar’s bared leg. She turned her eyes away from the scene before her, cursing the Narn’s stubborn refusal to scream if only because it would drown out the sound of the terrible device.

“Spectacular is it not, Lady Kyra?” Cartagia asked, turning to face her. In his hand he held a thin strip of skin that he waved ostentatiously at her. “Just think, with enough of these perhaps we can have another Narn skin purse fashioned for you.” With that he proceeded to shred first one, then another strip of skin from the Narn’s leg. In a sick manner he laid the pieces of bloody flesh, one by one, on the table by G’Kar’s feet. Soon the surface of the table around the Narn’s leg was slick with blood and yet he still refused to cry out. As strip after strip was removed, he kept his eyes firmly placed on the Human. The look in his eye both frightened and pained Aelora, as she knew that in the Narn’s mind it was not Cartagia that was brutalizing him, but her. In his mind he saw her holding the vicious device; saw her methodically striping the flesh from his body. The hatred he cast at her served to almost smother her forcing her to step back once again.

Cartagia turned to regard her just as she started her retreat and quickly moved to take her hand. “Come, come my dear Aelora,” he said pulling her back to the table’s side. “Are you not enjoying this? I thought you would be pleased, after all he was my gift to you. Do you not appreciate the things I do for you?”

Aelora worried her bottom lip. She knew what would happen if she failed to give him the answer he expected, yet she also hated to see his torture of G’Kar continue. Once again she remained silent, afraid of what she would say if she did otherwise.

“It really is quite simple,” the Centauri told her once again pressing the instrument against the Narn’s already marred leg. Slowly he tore another strip of flesh from the appendage always watching Aelora to ensure that he had her full attention. When she did turn away for fear that she would vomit, he grabbed her face roughly with a bloodied hand, speaking to her in a voice that was dangerously low. “You will watch, Lady Kyra. Or I will slit his throat and then yours.”

When he finally released his hold on her, Aelora wiped the blood from her cheek, realizing that she had pushed Cartagia further than she thought. She could tell from his expression that he had grown tired of her and her games and would put an end to it all if she insisted on defying him. If it were only she, she would not hesitate to let him kill her. But now, looking at G’Kar she realized that she no longer controlled only her own destiny. Mentally she conceded that she would have to play along with the Emperor if only to save G’Kar. She knew that in the end the Narn would hate her beyond anything even she believed possible but that was something she could live with; knowing she was responsible for his death was not. So finally she nodded, assuming a more subservient repose.

Cartagia stared at her a moment longer, the hint of a smile forming at the edges of his mouth. He knew he had succeeded in frightening her and this in itself gave him a perverse sense of satisfaction. Yet he wanted something more, something tangible. Keeping his eyes fixed to hers, he reached out and took her hand, holding it palm up. With the other he held out the bloodied instrument.

“Take it,” he commanded with barely held in check anger. When she hesitated, he tightened his grip on her wrist painfully while using the other to position the device within her grasp. He then moved the young woman to the end of the table where the strips of flesh, one by one, had been carefully lined up. Clenching her eyes shut, she choked back the nausea that was rapidly building up inside her. As the Centauri positioned the device on the Narn’s foot, she slowly opened her eyes, ever fearful of what Cartagia would do to her or G’Kar if she failed to watch. Unlike the other times, the Emperor did not act with painstaking skill; instead he used a crazed brutality to force her hand to move quickly causing the instrument to cut deep into the Narn’s foot. The blade tore at the thin flesh on the top of his foot, severing several blood vessels in the process.

Aelora shrieked in horror, jumping back as G’Kar’s blood squirted out at her, splattering the front of her gown. She rubbed franticly at her dress, desperate to rid herself of it. No longer able to hold back the tears, she sobbed begging G’Kar to forgive her, but in her madness the words became garbled, making her incomprehensible. All around her she heard the laughter of the others present; laughing at her, laughing at what she had done.

“Marvelous!” Cartagia exclaimed, clapping his hands together. He moved towards her, carefully taking her by the wrists. “You see,” he said to all those present, holding her hands up for them to see. “She really is a Centauri.”

Only when the others joined in with his laughter, did he release her allowing her to see her blood stained hands. G’Kar’s blood, she realized in horror. Like all Centauri, her hands were now stained with Narn blood. No matter her reasoning, she now knew she was no better than Londo, the Kyra’s or even Cartagia. The blood on her hands screamed out to her in millions of voices, blaming her as they did every Centauri. She heard the screams of the dying children that Tiro had told her of, felt their pain, and understood their hatred and anger. The very essence of it buried itself in her soul, damning her for all eternity, pulling her down into a cold dark place from which she knew none of them had any hope of escape. Unwilling to continue to take part in the madness around her, unable to withstand the hatred with which G’Kar continued to watch her, Aelora allowed the blackness to descend, washing over her as she dropped to unconsciousness at Cartagia’s feet.

The Emperor glanced down at the Human in amusement. “Well now, that was unexpected!” He laughed, tapping her with the toe of his boot, looking over at the guard to his right. “Take Lady Kyra back to her quarters, hmm? And the rest of us will see if we can get a scream out of this Narn. Shall we?”

Aelora awoke suddenly, the pervading sense that she was being watched washing over her. She lay still for the next several moments, listening for any sounds within the room before realizing that it must have been a nightmare.

Rolling over, she cradled her head against G’Kar’s chest. Though he was not the softest of pillows, he was incredibly warm and Aelora found herself quickly attempting to snuggle closer. The sound of his thumping heartbeat was strangely comforting and Aelora knew it would not be long before it lulled her back to sleep. The warmth, the reassuring sound of his steady breathing and the security and peace she felt nestled against him was all she needed. Everything in her life was perfect, everything as it should be.

But it wasn’t. Aelora frowned. Something was wrong. She sat up pulling the blankets tightly around her as protection against the chill that suddenly enveloped her. A tiny voice nagged at her to lie back down against the pillow, to seek protection in G’Kar’s arms and let whatever lay beyond the safety of the bed be forgotten. She could not ignore it though, and quietly slipped out of the bed, pulling her robe on and tying the belt loosely around her waist. She glanced back once at G’Kar’s sleeping form, thought how wonderful it would be to remain there, then silently padded out of the bedroom.

Although everything appeared at first to be in order, a second turn around the room proved the door to be wide open. How odd, Aelora thought, taking a step toward it. Now how did that happen? Her steps faltered when a sudden shadow – she could not tell if it was Human or alien – moved just outside the door and down the hall. Worried that an intruder had entered their quarters, Aelora hurried out the door after it determined to find out who or what it was that had entered into their rooms.

Aelora followed the shadow for quite sometime, catching it just as it moved around a corner or shot down another corridor. It wound its way further and further through the station causing Aelora to believe that whoever it was, they were leading her toward Down Below. She considered going to get Michael first when it suddenly dawned on her that she had not seen a single being during her entire walk. She came to a halt, glancing at her surroundings. Everything about Babylon 5 was familiar to her and yet… And yet, everything was foreign as well. She realized she truly had no idea where she was or how she would get back to G’Kar. As panic overwhelmed her, all memory of the shadow fleeing her, Aelora broke into a run back down the hall she had just traversed.

“Hello? Is anyone around?” She shouted, her fear growing the faster she ran. One corridor would lead to another and then another and still she had no idea where it was she was going. She had to get back to G’Kar, back to his security and warmth but she could not find the way. “G’Kar!” She screamed desperately. “Please help me! I can’t find you!” She ran and ran until she could run no more and only then realized she had been running in circles the entire time. Aelora gave into her tears, tears of frustration and grief, the almost suffocating pain of knowing she had lost something precious.

“You have been chasing shadows, you know.”

Aelora started at the voice and turned to find Valen, her father, standing before her. She wiped the back of her hand against her tears. “What do you know? You didn’t stick around long enough to know what I was doing. And definitely not enough to care.”

The Minbari (Human?) sighed and stepped closer to his daughter. “Must you always cast so many stones, Aelora? You’re not safe. Not yet.”

“I am not interested in what you have to say,” she snapped. “Unless…unless you can help me get back to G’Kar.”

Valen shook his head. “I am sorry, my child. But you must find your own way back to him.”

“But I can’t!”

“Are you going to give up so easily?”

“I’m scared!” She cried. “And alone. I feel so alone and so cold. I just – I just want to go back!”

“We cannot go back,” Valen replied softly. “But we can always find another way.”

Aelora lifted her chin. “How?”

“The best way is to follow your own heart. Remember the person who lives inside and trust them to guide you.”

Aelora shook her head. “It isn’t fair! I’ve sacrificed so much already ---“

“Everything is for a reason, Aelora. Have I not told you that before?”

He had. But it didn’t matter, right now. “How can any of this be for a reason? How can I look back on any of it and be glad for what happened, be glad for the paths I’ve taken and the decisions I’ve made?”

“It will prepare you for what lies ahead.” At his daughter’s confused look Valen smiled. “Let us pretend that you are married to the only person you could ever imagine loving. Now, you joined with this person knowing that twenty years into the future, they were going to die and there was nothing you could do to stop it. It was their destiny. What do you do? How do you feel?”

Aelora thought for a moment then replied, “Sad but I would not wallow in it. After all, I had this person, this love of my life for twenty wonderful years, right? I should be glad for that amount. Not everyone is so lucky.”

Valen nodded and took a step back.

Aelora found herself standing in an entry hall of a strange house. Out the windows she could see the sun slowly rising over the horizon. Turning back she saw two beings embracing. It did not take long for her to realize that it was herself and G’Kar perhaps twenty or so years in the future. She had aged well, a slight streak of gray through the left side of her red hair, tiny lines in her face that only seemed there to add character. G’Kar, too, looked much the same, older, wiser maybe. Aelora took a step closer in an attempt to get a better look.

“Every time you leave here, I fear I shall never see you again,” the older Aelora whispered to him, touching his face as if to memorize his features.

The Narn kissed her forehead. “And every time I leave, you say that.”

The Aelora he held gave a visible shudder. “I can’t stand that place, G’Kar. It frightens me. I wish that Londo would just leave it ---“

“You know that is impossible.” He cupped her face in his hands. “Be strong, no matter what you hear. If it is my destiny…”

His wife nodded. “I know. I just… “ A tear escaped, trailing down her cheek. “I love you so much I can’t imagine not having you here.”

“I will always be here.” He placed his palm against her heart, then leaned down and whispered, “Love me for the rest of my life?”

She cried, shaking her head. “No. I’ll love you for the rest of mine!”

G’Kar captured her mouth with his, fiercely, all of the love and terror that they felt shared in that one last kiss. As her husband walked away from her for the last time, Aelora sucked in a deep, steadying breath and swallowed the tears that threatened to spill.

When G’Kar had disappeared, Aelora the younger felt her ire rise. She turned towards the older version of herself and shouted, “How dare you just let him go! If you are so certain of his death then call him back and beg him not to leave! G’Kar will listen to you.”

The older Aelora turned to regard herself thoughtfully. “Yes, you are right. If I had begged, G’Kar would have remained, and our dear friend Londo would have been left to face his fate alone.”

“Londo?” Aelora laughed in an attempt to hide her confusion. She did not understand the circumstances surrounding the situation and found herself fearing ever having that knowledge. “Londo would understand.”

The older woman shook her head sadly. “We cannot interfere with destiny.” She turned then and started back into the depths of the house.

“So that’s it?” Aelora’s frustration mounted. “You send your husband off to what you are certain is his death and just go about life as usual?”

Her counterpart swung back around and fixed her with a pain filled glare. “What am I supposed to do? Follow in the age-old Narn ritual of throwing myself off the highest cliff? Take a knife to my wrists? Starve myself to death? Oh, don’t think I haven’t considered it! For years I have done nothing but wake up each morning asking myself what am I going to do when this day comes? And for years, the same answer has come back to me. Nothing. There is nothing that can be done. I have my own destiny to follow, just as G’Kar does. There are those who need me, who depend on me. I cannot with good conscience turn my back on them. If there is anything I have learned in the time I spent with that wonderful creature it is that one simple truth.”

Aelora shook her head. “I don’t understand. Your children? Is that who you speak of?”

The eyes that mirrored hers smiled back at her. “No, they can look after themselves. Here, see what ‘we’ have created… “

The house disappeared to leave Aelora standing in the clearing of a lush, green forest. On closer inspection, it appeared that the woods around her were not very old, for the trees had barely begun to mature and the foliage on the ground was still sparse. Was there a fire perhaps? She wondered. Something had happened that would have caused the need for regrowth. She wandered around the small area for a moment, wondering all the while why it seemed so familiar to her. Kneeling down, she dug her fingers deep into the soil, grabbing a fistful and clenching it tightly within her grasp. The soil spoke to her and welcomed her back. Aelora blinked, stood and glanced at her surroundings once more.

“It couldn’t be,” she whispered in denial.

“Oh but it is,” Valen materialized before her. “The soil you hold in your hands is the rich, vibrant soil of Narn.”

Aelora shook her head. “This is before the Centauri came.”

He shook his head. “No, my child. This is thirty years after you first came to Babylon 5.”

“I…I don’t understand.”

“You have a gift, Aelora, a gift that is to be nurtured and shared. Think of the lives you can save and the hope that you can build.”

“But an entire planet!”

Valen chuckled at the exasperation in her voice. “No, not the whole planet. You only provided them with the tools with which they needed to begin again. In your decades of work here you provided maybe seven percent of the land with the life it needed to begin again. Nature will carry on from there.”

“No.” Aelora stubbornly denied it. “I couldn’t – wouldn’t do such a thing! I am a Kyra. I could not betray them by doing such a thing as helping the Narn homeworld!”

Her father looked at her sadly, his form beginning to dissolve. “Remember who you are, Aelora. The person inside of you. Remember…”

When Aelora first opened her eyes, she was disconcerted, uncertain of where she was and how she got to be there. Her head throbbed and her eyes felt as if they were too large for their sockets. Slowly, she pulled herself into a sitting position, the knowledge that she was safely ensconced away in her quarters wafting through her mind like a distant memory. Aelora could not remember the last time she had slept so hard and could not understand why the much-needed slumber had not refreshed her. It was as she raised her hand to rub at her eyes that Aelora noticed the odd discoloration on her skin. Cautiously, she held both her hands out in front of her and immediately a wave of nausea washed over her as the memory of recent events came back to her.

Aelora made a dash for the nearest basin, quickly losing what little dinner she had last eaten. Her body began shaking violently and she could do no more than collapse against the wall as the memory of G’Kar’s torture consumed her. She stared at her blood-covered hands in horror, the image of G’Kar’s hated-filled eyes burned into her mind. The maniacal sound of Cartagia’s laughter seemed to ring throughout her room and Aelora found herself wondering if she would not go mad over the imagined cacophony. She covered her ears as she wept, fear racing through her at the thought of what had happened to G’Kar after she had blacked out. The Emperor had been relentless in his pursuit of a scream from the Narn, but the proud being would not give into the demand and had paid a terrible price in return. And through it all, Aelora had been forced to watch – to participate – in the beyond brutal treatment of someone who had once loved her enough to stand by her side no matter the cost.

The guilt within her tripled. She had been too afraid, too wrapped up in her own worry about needing somewhere to belong to bother lifting a finger to stop G’Kar’s torture. She could have easily taken the horrid instrument that Cartagia had placed in her hands and shoved it through his black heart…but no. She had simply stood there, had allowed the treatment to continued, had allowed them to pull her into it and then had taken the coward’s way out. She had fainted.

Aelora closed her eyes. Delenn had been right. She was not fit to be the daughter of Jeffrey Sinclair, not fit to be a Ranger…not even fit to be Human. Perhaps she really was Centauri. Perhaps she, and everyone she knew, had been fighting against something that was irreversible.

“You can not continue to blame everyone but yourself for the things that happen around you, Aelora,” she heard Rane’s voice echo through her head. “You have a lot more control over your own destiny than you seem to understand.” At first Aelora had thought that Rane had simply been taunting her for G’Kar’s capture, telling her that when it came right down to it, she had been responsible. But now, as she considered his words, she began to realize that perhaps he had meant something else. But what? Had it not been Rane who had caused her to take this path in the first place? Would things not be different now if he had not come to her, challenging her friendship with the Narn?

Or would they?

Had it truly been Rane’s fault that she had destroyed her friendship with G’Kar or had it been something that was bound to happen, something that had only culminated with Rane’s appearance? Truthfully, she had never been very confident in her friendship with the Narn, always worried what others might be thinking or her family learning of her betrayal. She had even admitted to G’Kar that all she ever seemed to do was cause him pain. Was an end to it all not imminent? Had she, from the moment they had first met, been on a crash course for destruction? She had always known, from the moment that she had healed his wounds on the Ilaws that a relationship between them could never exist. And yet, she had allowed it to happen because she had been too afraid not to. She had clung to his strength and kindness like a child desperate for attention. And all along, Aelora had known it would end badly. Yet she had been too afraid to let it go, too afraid to be alone. And in her selfish bid to have someone who cared about her, she may have cost G’Kar his life.

Aelora forced herself to stand forcing back the dizziness that consumed her, stilling her limbs from the trembling that followed. She washed her hands, scrubbing hard at the blood, trying not to think about whose it was and how it came to be on her. When she was sufficiently certain that all traces of the blood was erased from her skin, her hands red and sore from the pressure she exerted, she gathered her cloak about her and headed out into the palace in the direction of the cells.

There was only one guard on duty, Katlin she believed the name was, and he appeared half-asleep, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest. As Aelora approached he straightened, fixing her with a level, unwavering gaze.

“I do not believe that you should go in there, Ms. Kyra,” he warned her softly.

“I am well aware of the…injuries that the prisoner sustained today,” she replied, surprised that her voice sounded so strong. Inside, she felt as if she were crumbling apart.

Katlin shrugged. “S’up to you. The prisoner is not coherent anyway. He has been unconscious for a while now.”

At least he is still alive, Aelora thought to herself, then quickly scolded, as if living like this is preferable. “I simply want to make certain that the Emperor’s prized possession is at least still breathing.”

The guard nodded and pulled open the door, stepping aside to allow Aelora entrance. She hesitated a brief moment before moving across the threshold into the tiny, unlit cell, waiting for the door to shut behind her before she exhaled the breath that she held, tremors once more wracking her body. She unhooked the clasp at her cloak, allowing the heavy velvet material to pool at her feet while her eyes slowly adjusted to the darkness. She made out G’Kar’s still form lying on the floor against the wall. A cry escaped her and she dropped to her knees beside him tentatively reaching out with one hand to touch his arm. When he made no sign of awakening, she grew bolder and touched his shoulder where a deep burn festered without treatment. She bit down hard on the inside of her cheek, willing back the tears that threatened to fall.

“I wish I could help you, G’Kar,” she whispered softly. “If only I had not taken the Sleepers, I could heal your wounds so easily.”

Her hand lingered at his shoulder for a moment before trailing across his neck and down to his chest and stomach where she could see the Imperial physician had placed synthetic skin over the wounds from the scalpel’s truncation. After all, they had to have him ready for their next chosen torture! The wounds still bled and, without a moment’s hesitation she took the edge of her gown and gently blotted at the blood, careful not to add too much pressure while cleaning the dirt away that had gathered around the torn flesh. The longer she spent caring for his wounds, the more difficult it became to fight that pain that was building inside her heart and before long the tears fell unbidden down her cheeks. Feelings she had fought for so long to remain hidden spilled forth and she accepted them without remorse or retribution. This was who she was and what she wanted and there was no fighting it anymore. Perhaps there was no one around that she could tell who would understand and maybe she would have to keep it to herself, hiding it within a secret compartment in her heart that they would never touch but it was there and Aelora was ready to acknowledge it.

She loved G’Kar.

“I am so sorry I couldn’t help you today. I was so terrified of everything that was happening around me. Cartagia frightens me, I am not afraid to say that. His mind…I don’t understand it. I don’t understand him. He…the things he has done to me…” She paused, her gaze searching his face as if for some sign of his hearing her. “I know that what I am going through pales in comparison as to what has been done to you…I…” She searched for the words she wanted to say. “I know you don’t believe me, G’Kar. I know I have destroyed your trust and your caring and…your love. But I would do anything to have it back you must believe that! If I could go back and change the past I would…but I can’t. I would do anything to make certain you did not come to harm.”

Aelora reached up and touched his cheek, tracing the angles of his face reverently. She remembered the feel of his mouth against hers that one time before she had completely awakened and ruined it for them both. He had been so warm and giving. She wanted him to kiss her like that again, to pull her into his arms and hold her as if he would never let her go. She wanted to hear him say “Shon’Ur…” She gave into the sob that threatened and dropped her head onto his chest, allowing the tears to flow freely.

“I love you so much, G’Kar,” she cried softly. “I am so sorry I never told you – never acknowledged it. So much time was wasted and now…now it may all end so soon. I’m scared, G’Kar. So very scared. I don’t know what I will do if Cartagia comes near me again, if he tries to ---“ She cut herself off, unable to speak of the night he had drugged her. “I just want to wake up and find out that the past few weeks have just been some terrible nightmare and I can find you and tell you that I love you and everything will be perfect. In Valen’s name! I just want everything to be perfect!”

Aelora lay there and wept for the next few minutes, her arms wrapped around G’Kar as if she would never let go. When her tears were finally spent, she remained with her head on his chest, gently stroking the warm flesh beneath her hand. This was where she belonged, she realized. Not on any specific planet or in any specific habitat but here, beside G’Kar, no matter where he was. She told him that. She went on to tell him about growing up on Centauri Prime, leaving nothing out, telling him every secret she had never spoken of to another. She told him about training for the Rangers and meeting her father and how easy it was to love him and how much it had hurt when he left. Knowing that he could not hear her, and wanting to speak of it, she told him the secret of Valen’s true identity and her fears of not being worthy of being the daughter of one so great. She whispered to him of the frequent nightmares that had been plaguing her and how very weak and tired the Sleepers were making her. Not once though did she mention the things she had said to him on Babylon 5 or the truth behind her deception. Aelora felt it would somehow cheapen her feelings for him, that using the truth as an excuse for her behavior would only cause G’Kar’s hatred for her to grow.

When her tongue became tired and all her words were spent, Aelora grew silent, listening to the sound of G’Kar’s heartbeat. It was a reassuring and steady sound, as strong as the body that harbored it. It was comforting to hear on a world where weakness was preyed upon daily. She wished that Londo would hurry with his plans and get G’Kar to safety. She knew the Narn would only put up with so much for so long before his pride took hold and he no longer gave the Emperor quarter. Then only the most desperate of measures would be able to save him.

“I have a confession to make, G’Kar,” she whispered softly, her fingertips tracing tiny circles on his skin. “That night on the Centauri warship – I wasn’t drunk. Oh, I had put back a few, no doubt about that! But I mean really drunk? No. I knew what I was doing. And what I was saying. Sure, the drinks stripped me of my inhibitions a bit…but not all that much. It’s just…even when I was trying so hard to hate you, G’Kar, I knew, deep inside, that there was something special between us. I knew I wanted to be with you, I knew that you would be the only person who could ever truly make me happy. And I wanted to tell you – well, everything right there, from the beginning. But I couldn’t. I was Centauri and you were Narn and yet, I didn’t want you to give up on me. I didn’t want you to go away. After all, I believed very much that was what my father had done – given up on me, left. And now that I know the truth of his disappearance, I still believe in a way that he had given up on me. Otherwise, why did he not tell me the truth?”

Aelora sighed, allowing her eyes to close for a moment, enjoying the comfort of simply being near him. She imagined that they were back on Babylon 5, safe in G’Kar’s quarters, after having spent an evening of dining and dancing at the Fresh Air. They would talk all night, learning each other’s secrets and dreams before G’Kar would kiss her to silence her and she would end up falling asleep in his arms. But reality intervened once more when the feeling in the hand she touched him with suddenly went numb. She opened her eyes, staring at the offending appendage with an expression of resignation. The symptoms were worsening, becoming more frequent and Aelora was still uncertain if giving up the Sleepers were truly the right thing to do. She flexed her fingers for a moment then leaned up on her elbow to watch G’Kar’s profile once more.

“I wish I could promise you that I will do something – that I will make this all end in some way. But…I can’t.” She looked away, shame filling her at the confession she was about to make. “I owe so much to the Kyra’s, G’Kar. They gave me a home and family – a fresh start at life. I may have died as a child had they not taken me in. And I can’t bring myself to hurt them. I can’t bring myself to betray everything that they taught me. I don’t want to hurt and disappoint them and yet…I don’t want to hurt and disappoint you, either.” She cupped his face gently in her hands. “I wish I could tell you that my loyalties are changing, but I can’t. I’m not sure of anything anymore.” She caressed his cheek with her thumb, wishing not for the first time that he would open his eyes and they would be filled once more with the love they once had. “If I can find a way to protect you without hurting the Kyra’s, then I will do so. I promise.”

The creaking of the door caused Aelora to jump back and she looked up in terror before she saw Londo’s face peer around the corner and relief flooded through her. “Great Maker, Londo! You just about made me jump out of my skin!” She scolded in a fierce whisper.

“Never mind that,” Londo admonished. “Cartagia is looking for you. You are lucky it was only me who found you! Come away from here quickly, before both of our heads make new ornaments in the palace gardens.”

“One moment.”

“Aelora –“

“Just a moment, Londo. Please!” She pleaded desperately.

The Centauri eyed her for a moment before nodding. “Quickly, then. I will wait for you out here.”

Aelora nodded. The moment she and the Narn were alone once more, she leaned her head down next to his and whispered, “I have to go now, and think of some excuse as to why I was not in my quarters.” She paused, searching for the words she wanted to say. “I meant it when I said I loved you, G’Kar. I do. And though you may not believe it now, someday you will look into your heart and realize that what I said is true. And though we can never be together in this lifetime, there will be others. Of that I am certain.” She kissed his cheek, realized it was not enough then pressed her mouth to his. Though his lips were unyielding, she pretended that her kiss was welcome and that he gave her his warmth and love.

Finally she pulled away, her gaze wandering over him, memorizing every detail of the pain that he had suffered as if she could somehow live through it for him. An impatient knock at the door spurred her to hurriedly fasten her cloak about her and exit the cell. Before closing the door, she took one last look at him and every bit of love she felt for him shown brightly on her face. Londo gasped at the sight, hoping beyond reason that she never allowed another soul on Centauri Prime to see it. Quickly he ushered her down the corridor, silently praying that they both made it back into the palace without being seen by Cartagia.

As the door closed behind Aelora, G’Kar slowly opened his eyes. He had awoken only moments before she had entered his cell and the pain that had shot through his body during her stay had been near unbearable. Still he had remained silent, listening. Allowing Aelora to speak freely, to be the person she could only be when alone. And as she spoke, he told himself that everything he heard had been a lie, that the warm tears he had felt on his skin had simply been a clever ploy to cause him more pain.

And yet…

He believed her. Though he was certain that somewhere along the way he would take another fall, his heart still believed. He did not understand her reasons behind the ambush on his people; he did not understand the hatred with which she spoke to him last on Babylon 5. But he knew, deep in his heart, that she loved him. It did not excuse her loyalty to the Kyra’s or her insistence on being the proper little Centauri. It did not cause him to forgive her betrayal.

But where there had been only hatred and pain, there now existed hope.

Aelora sat huddled under the Jhawa tree, staring up at the stars above. She had spent most of the day hidden in her room, not wanting to deal with Cartagia so soon after the horrid torture of G’Kar in which she had been forced to participate. Once she knew the Court had disappeared to the dining hall where she was certain their grand feast would last a good three hours, Aelora snuck out into the garden to her favorite hiding spot to gaze up at the night sky. There was something about staring up at a moon and the stars from planet side, something that was even more glorious to behold than seeing it from a starship. She always found she was at peace under the stars and moon, as if they were somehow looking out for her. She wondered briefly if they were continuing to look out for her now, when it seemed there were so very few left who cared.

She glanced down at her fingers, thinking how nice it had felt to touch G’Kar, to lay her head against him, to kiss him. She could be happy with him she realized, happier than she had ever been. It hurt to know this fact for along with it came the realization that it would never happen. She had a duty to her family, a duty to make them proud of her, to shine for them, a duty that did not include falling in love with a Narn. It hurt to know that she had to keep her feelings to herself, that she could not shout them to the galaxy. Aelora wanted so very much to talk to her mother, to have those quiet chats that mothers and daughters around the galaxy were supposed to have. But more and more, she began to wonder about her place in the family, about how much Lady Kyra even considered her as a daughter. She knew she had disappointed the Kyra’s with her disinterest in Cartagia but could they not see the monster that he was? Did they not understand that he could very well take Centauri Prime down into the pits of Hell with him if he were not stopped?

Pulling her wrapper more tightly around her shoulders, Aelora considered the planet she called home. She still could not comprehend how she could have gone so many years never having noticed the cruelty that the Centauri people were capable of inflicting on others. She did not understand how she could not have seen it as wrong. She knew that the Centauri did not hold the patent on cruelty – there were beings capable of indescribable acts in every race – but it seemed on Centauri Prime that the madder you were, the higher you rose in the social circles. If it were not for the presence of Vir and Londo, Aelora would swear that at some point the entire Centauri race had gone completely insane. But no, it appeared that only the Imperial Court had gone insane. The rest of the populace was blessedly ignorant of the happenings around them.

Leaning back against the tree, Aelora closed her eyes, hoping to spend at least a few moments thinking about something that did not bring her sorrow. She found herself recalling the night she and G’Kar had gone to dinner, when he had convinced her to order that ridiculous Narn dish and then squealed as she had cut into it. A smile crossed her face at the memory. Would it always be like that with him? She wondered. Never knowing from one minute to the next what was going to happen? They would spend their days together laughing and teasing and arguing over silly things like galactic politics. Their nights would be spent snuggled together in bed, whispering their hopes and dreams to one another as they made love into the early morning.

“Good evening, Aelora.”

She started at the masculine voice, pulling herself from her reverie to glance around the tree trunk at a figure that stood only a few feet away. She squinted into the darkness, noting that whoever it was, they were wearing a concealing cloak. A shiver ran down her spine. “Er…hello.” She scrambled to her feet, moving around the tree as if using it for protection. She peaked around the trunk at the figure as he drew closer. “Do I know you?”

“You should,” he replied, his tone hinting at a smile. “We have quite a few mutual friends.”

The voice was familiar to her, almost like something out of a dream. She frowned, taking a bold step back out from around the tree, drawing closer to her visitor. “Mutual friends? Who are you?”

“Tsk, tsk. Wrong question, Aelora.” He pulled back the cowl and she instantly drew back in fear and loathing at the badly charred figure of Morden standing before her. His skin was blackened and falling off in flakes but Aelora still recognized him as the one from her nightmares, the one that Terann had once warned her of.

“You!” She hissed, instantly taking a step back. “What are you doing here?”

“Certainly Mollari has told you? Or perhaps your Emperor has bragged about his imminent god-hood?” He smiled. “No? Well suffice to say, my associates have made a little deal with the Centauri to store some of their ships here on one of the planet’s islands.”

“That’s insane!” Aelora retorted. “No one would be foolish enough –” She stopped herself. Yes, there was someone foolish enough to believe that he could actually gain something by dealing with the Shadows. And he sat on the Centauri throne.

“What are you doing, Aelora?” Morden questioned.

Aelora found she had to look away from him or grow nauseous at the sight of him pealing off his skin in large chunks. “What do you mean?”

“My associates gave you such marvelous gifts, Aelora, and here you are wasting them. Wasting yourself. This Sleeper business does not sound like the most intelligent choice you could have made.”

She glanced at him sharply out of the corner of her eyes. “What do you know about it?”

“Come now, Aelora. They weren’t going to give you such a powerful gift if they did not add a few fail-safes to it. Should you revolt, you would have to pay the price. Only… they figured you were smarter than that.”

“These gifts, as you call them, almost cost me my friend’s life at my hands!”

“Ah… yes. The Vorlon. Or Minbari, as she pretends to be.” Morden smiled and shrugged. “There were certain tasks included with the job, Aelora.”

“I didn’t ask for this!” She railed at him. “I didn’t want it. I don’t even understand it!”

“What is not to understand?” Morden took a seat on the nearby stone bench, regarding her with a bemused smile. “You are a legacy of my associates. You see you were born with a great and incredible gift. Only, it was limited and not very powerful. Oh certainly you could make flowers grow but you would never reach your true potential – that to create forests and jungles and feed thousands with a touch to unfertile soil! My associates saw this. And do not forget your healer’s touch! With a simple touch you can now save the life of a dying being – no matter the race, you have the ability to change the course of the future! They saw what you could do… and they saw how the galaxy would react once they found out.”

“What?” Aelora trembled, a sense of foreboding washing over her. She faded once more back into the shadows. “I don’t understand.”

“Picture it, Aelora!” Morden told her, his voice animated with life that seemed impossible in the burnt shell he inhabited. “The Narn want you to help save their planet so they convince you to help them but while you are there the Drazi have a famine and, hearing of your abilities, ask you to help them by feeding their people and making those who are sick well again. But the Narn won’t let you go. And then the Centauri want you, to seed uninhabitable worlds for them to colonize and so they join in the fight for you and soon worlds all over the galaxy are at war to claim you for their own! And imagine Earth once her leaders find out what you can do! To clone your genes, to make you a slave to their wishes – can you imagine the chaos? The turmoil? All over a woman who has the power of life in the palm of her hands!”

“You’re mad,” she whispered.

“No, Aelora. Unfortunately it is the galaxy that is mad, which I am certain you have been learning during your return here to your home.” Morden stood. “Only now, you are robbing my associates of that legacy they had given you.”

“Damn right I am,” she snapped. “And if the Sleepers kill me and rid the Shadows of their little toy then so be it.”

“Oh, they will kill you, Aelora, make no mistake about that,” Morden promised with a smile. “Even right now, as we speak, they are currently destroying you inside, breaking down your barriers against illness, eating at your insides, affecting your ability to function fully. Have you coughed up any blood yet? That should be the halfway mark, you understand.”

“You aren’t scaring me,” Aelora lied.

“I’m not here to scare you, just to inform.” He turned to leave, pulling the cloak up around his face once more. “One more thing before I go,” he said, turning back to her. “That Narn, he’ll never understand you, you know. He’ll never be able to understand what you have been through or who you are. It is better for you both to simply let the Centauri kill him.”

“Get away from me!” She shouted, bending to grab a clump of dirt and throwing it into his face.

Morden wiped the soil away, flashed her a malevolent smile and disappeared into the dark.

Aelora collapsed at the foot of the tree, the full extent of Morden’s words hitting her. Now she knew for certain that the Sleepers truly were meant to destroy her and that she was not meant to take them. Morden had confirmed her fears that she was created for evil, not for the goodness which had naturally flowed from her hands. She was meant to destroy worlds, not to build them. And the most sorrowful part of it all was that he had been right. If word spread about her gift, worlds would battle for her, bargain for her, kill and destroy to own her.

No matter the consequences, she could not allow such a future to occur.

“Momma? Momma! Where are we going?” The child asked her tiny legs moving as fast as they could to keep up with her mother who was pulling her along the dark street.

“Away, honey,” Soria Campbell replied, glancing over her shoulder to see if anyone followed. Luckily, there was no one yet but she knew they would arrive soon. She had not been careful enough, not been alert and they had sensed her. She glanced down at her young daughter, sensing her sudden fear and confusion and she sent out a wave of calm, wrapping it around the child like a protective blanket.

“I don’t want to leave here, momma,” the child protested stubbornly. “I like it here.”

“I do too, Aelora, but we have no choice.”

“It’s the bad men, isn’t it, momma?” Aelora asked, making a face.

Soria squeezed her hand reassuringly. “Don’t worry, honey. They won’t find us.”

Aelora glanced around, searching for the men and women in the dark suits who had a habit of appearing out of nowhere to frighten her mother. She did not understand why they had to run from them, or why they were being chased in the first place, but she did know that they upset her mother, and that was what made them bad.

“Momma, I’m tired.”

“Aelora, honey –“

“My feet hurt!”

Soria halted abruptly, turning to scoop the child into her arms and then heading once more down the street. She stopped suddenly, her mind reverberating with the sound of marching footsteps, at least a dozen minds all in tune to hers, seeking her out. Panic flashed through Soria as she realized it was not just a team of Psi Cops they had sent after her this time but a Bloodhound Unit! She glanced around hurriedly, searching for an avenue of escape, finally ducking into a nearby alley. She set her daughter down, kneeling in front of her.

“Aelora, do you remember what I told you to do if any of those bad men ever catch you and you cannot get away?”

The child nodded.

“Tell momma.”

Aelora reached for the chain around her neck, withdrawing the small silver vial that was attached to it. “I am s’posed to drink this.”

Soria nodded, the fear pulling at her at the thought of those monsters ever getting a hold of her baby.

“What’s it gonna do to me, momma?” Aelora asked, staring at the shiny object. She glanced up, her eyes full of question.

There were times that Soria cursed her child’s inquisitiveness, and this was one of those. “Well, honey,” she replied softly, smoothing a bright red curl from her cheek. “It…it will make you sleep.”

Aelora considered this for a moment, wrapping her hand tightly around the vial and then tucking it back inside her dress. She looked up at her mother, her gaze full of wisdom for one so young. “They won’t hurt me then, will they?”

“No, baby,” Soria replied, hugging her quickly and placing a kiss against her curls. Pain tore through her when she considered her daughter needing to take the poison. She vowed she would never let that happen as long as she still lived.

“Come, honey,” she said, standing and taking the child’s hand. “We have to get to the airfield.”

Soria turned and almost emitted a scream at the form that was blocking her way out of the alley. Instantly she realized it was not a Psi Cop and her fear lessened though she pushed her daughter behind her legs protectively.

The being stepped out of the shadows and into the light. “Are you all right?” He asked, his voice deep and commanding.

Aelora peeked around from behind her mother’s legs and her eyes widened. She had never seen such a giant in her life! The creature towered over her mother, almost blocking the entire entrance to the alley. His skin was a pale brown with darker spots and he had red, glowing eyes. Aelora was certain it was a monster and hurriedly ducked for safety behind her mother once more.

Soria regarded the Narn hesitantly, not wanting to scan him because she always had difficulty with aliens, sometimes even causing them pain. He did not seem threatening but then things were not always as they seemed. “We’re fine, thank you,” she replied. “If you would just let us by –“

“I was not born yesterday, miss, “ the Narn commented, glancing down at the pretty child who peeked out once more from her hiding spot. When she caught his glance, she quickly hid away once more, bringing a smile to the Narn’s face. “I can see that you are hiding from someone or something. I was wondering if I might lend assistance.”

“Why?” Soria questioned suspiciously. “Why would you want to help?”

“Because you are a mother and a child who are obviously on their own and frightened and I am not a monster.”

Mistaking his meaning, Aelora felt her courage return, pleased to know that the being before them was not a monster as she had at first believed and stepped around from behind her mother, placing her tiny fists on her hips. “I ain’t fright’ned o’ nothin’!”

The Narn chuckled, crouching down to gaze at the child eye to eye. “Why do I find myself believing that? What is your name, little one?”

“Aelora.”

“Ae!” Her mother snapped in warning.

The child gazed up at her. “He ain’t gonna hurt us, momma.”

“You are very wise,” the Narn smiled, pulling gently on a red curl. He stood once more, his attention returning to Soria. “An hour ago my crew mates and I saw a couple of those Human telepaths – Psi Cops, isn’t it? – in the bar. That wouldn’t be who you were running from, would it?”

Soria worried her lower lip, wondering what other choice she had. Either the Narn was being honest and truly did wish to help them, or he was going to turn them in. Whatever his plans, it was obvious she was not going to be able to get past him without harming him and any use of her abilities would send out a signal as to her whereabouts.

Finally, she nodded. “Yes. They discovered us a few hours ago.”

“You are a telepath then?”

Soria heard the interest in his voice and knowing that the Narn people had no telepaths of their own, she knew he was instantly considering her as a valuable commodity. “A telekinetic, actually,” she corrected. “And before you ask, no I will not accept your help in return for a DNA sample.”

The Narn shook his head. “I had no such intentions, Miss…?”
“Soria. Soria Campbell.”

He inclined his head. “And I am Da’Tan, Captain of the Gar’oth. If you wish, I can offer you safe passage from here.”

“We haven’t very much money,” Soria told him honestly. “I can’t pay you ---“

“I am not looking for payment, Miss Campbell,” he assured her with a smile. “Only the satisfaction of helping two obvious damsels in distress.”

Soria believed him. She did not know why but there was something about the Narn before her that begged at her to trust him. A pervading sense of danger quickly washed over her and she reached down to pull Aelora once more into her arms. “Well, if you are sincere in your offer, Da’Tan, we had best get going. They are almost here.”

“Follow me,” he instructed, moving past her to go further into the alley.

As Soria hurried after him, she heard her daughter ask, “What’s a damsels, momma?”

“Hush, honey,” Soria told her. “We need to be quiet now.”

The child sighed and laid her head against her mother’s shoulder, confident that the bad men would never find them anyway. Her mother was smarter than that and now they had this big giant to help them as well. Aelora was certain if the bad men did catch up the giant would simply squash them with his foot.

Da’Tan led them through a back door in the alley and into a seedy bar. The patrons took little notice of them as they hurried through, obviously used to the establishment being used as an escape route. The Narn was alert, his gaze missing nothing as they passed through the building and out onto the other side of the street.

“It is not far to the airfield from here and my crew is already on board,” he told Soria as they half ran down the street.

She could only nod in reply, her heart racing. Aelora was becoming heavier in her arms and her steps were slowing.

“Will you be able to make it?” Da’Tan questioned, eyeing her hold on her daughter.

She nodded stubbornly. “Of course.”

Da’Tan halted, reaching out to take Aelora from her.

“No!” Soria protested, stepping back. “I won’t –“

“You are becoming tired,” Da’Tan told her. “And we are wasting time. I can carry her easily. You must trust me or we will not make it.” Gently he pried the child from her grasp, cradling her in one arm against his shoulder. “Comfortable?” He asked Aelora, chuckling when she nodded while yawning. She nestled her head against his neck and was almost instantly asleep. The Narn laughed, turning to move once more. “If there is one thing that never changes between races, it is the ability of a child to sleep no matter the circumstances.”

Soria nodded with a smile in return, following the Narn closely.

It took twenty minutes to reach the airfield and by then Soria was exhausted and frightened. Three times they had come across members of the bloodhound unit and it had only been due to collaboration between Soria and Da’Tan that they had escaped capture. Once they had fired at Da’Tan, hoping to eliminate her rescuer but Soria had telekinetically moved a nearby box in the way of the shot. True to his word, the Gar’oth was ready to take off when they arrived. The crewmembers did not ask questions as their Captain and two Human females hurried onboard, out of breath and obviously shaken.

“Get us out of here,” Da’Tan instructed then turned to hand Aelora back other mother. “I need to be up front with the others,” he told her. “Rest here and I will return soon with something to eat for you and the child.”

As he turned to leave, Soria set Aelora down on her feet and reached out to touch Da’Tan’s arm. The Narn turned back to her, looking down into what he thought was an extremely arresting face.

“I don’t know how to thank you,” she said softly. “If there is anything ---“

He laid his hand on her shoulder, silencing her. “Your gratitude is enough, Miss Campbell.”

“Please, call me Soria,” she returned, smiling up into his kind and surprisingly handsome face.

“Soria.” He smiled. “You are safe now.” A gently tugging on his trousers alerted Da’Tan to the fact that someone else wanted his attention. He crouched down by the child. “Yes little one?”

“My name is Aelora,” she beamed.

He chuckled and pinched her turned-up nose. “I know that.”

She frowned. “Will those spots rub off on me?”

“Aelora!” Her mother chastised, immediately turning a bright red from embarrassment.

The Narn laughed and waved a hand at Soria. “Not to worry.” He returned his attention to the child. “No, little one, they will not, “ he replied and then laughed again at Aelora’s apparent disappointment.

“Let the Captain go back to his work,” Soria chided her daughter, pulling her into her arms as Da’Tan stood.

“I will bring you food soon, “ he told them, winking at Aelora. He looked back over at Soria, thinking to himself that the two women were portraits of one another then turned and disappeared toward the front of the cruiser.

“Momma?”

“Yes, honey?”

“He’s not a monster.”

“No, dear.” Soria smiled and kissed her forehead. “No, he isn’t.”

Aelora awoke with a start, disoriented and for a brief moment, uncertain where she was. The last she remembered she had been safe and warm on the Gar’oth and –

What?! Aelora sat up in bed, her heart slamming against her chest. The Gar’oth was the name of the ship that belonged to Da’Tan, the first Narn she had ever met, the one who had saved her and her mother from Psi Corps. He had taken them to a tiny Narn outpost and protected them until… until… Aelora squeezed her eyes shut, trying to snatch the last of the memory but what happened from that point eluded her.

She slipped out of her bed, grabbing her robe and wrapping it tightly around her waist, for once taking no notice of the vertigo that normally washed over her when she stood. Her mind was cluttered with visions, memories that she had suppressed for over twenty years, memories of her mother and her brief childhood before she had come to live on Centauri Prime. Memories of the person she was meant to be. Aelora ran a trembling hand through her curls, holding back the tears that threatened. She recalled how her mother sang to her when she could not sleep at night and held and rocked her when she was not feeling well.

Aelora’s mind became flooded with the memories of her arrival on Centauri Prime and how terribly frightened and alone she had felt. She remembered how the Kyra’s had forced her to sleep without a light, telling her to stop being such a child and that they had told her begging to be held was unladylike. But the part of her that hurt the worst, the memory that tore at her heart and threatened to push her over the edge, was that of when they had shaved the mass of red curls from her head. She remembered the entire horrible week surrounding the moment, the events that led up to it and the pain that had followed. The pain and anger and frustration had been so overwhelming that she had completely shut out what had come before, forcing herself to forget the happiness she had been accustomed to and immersing herself in the reality of her new life.

Determined to know the truth once and for all, to know what really happened to her mother and why it had always seemed that she were more in the way than a part of the family, Aelora stalked out of her room, heading for Lord and Lady Kyra’s quarters. She pounded hard on the door, not caring that it was late at night, not caring who heard her or that Lady Kyra needed her beauty sleep. She pounded until Lord Kyra yanked the door open, his angled face ruddy with anger.

“Great Maker, girl! Do you realize what time it is? How dare – “

“How dare you!” Aelora snapped, pushing past him into the room. “Maman? Maman, wake up! I need to speak with you both.”

Lady Kyra hurried into the room, wrapping her robe around her. “What is it, Aelora? Is something wrong?”

“The damned palace had best be on fire to explain this intrusion,” Lord Kyra barked.

Aelora ignored him, turning to face the woman she had for so very long looked up to as her mother. “What happened to my mother, Soria Campbell?”

Lady Kyra glanced nervously at her husband then back to the girl before her. “Whatever do you mean, Aelora? You know that she died and we took you in.”

“How did she die?”

Another glance. “How am I to know? Some sort of illness.”

“But she spoke to you before she died, otherwise, how would you know about me? How did you come to find me?” At their continued silence, Aelora pressed on with what memories she had. “What about the Narn that was with us, Captain Da’Tan? Where was he?” They shocked expressions told her they knew who it was she spoke of and her ire sparked. “In Valen’s name tell me the truth, for once in your seedy, selfish little lives!”

Lord Kyra slapped her hard at the outburst, knocking her back onto the floor. “How dare you speak to us in such a tone!” He chastened. “We who have given you a home and family, a roof over your head and food in your stomach. We made certain you were educated, trained, raised to make a good marriage match – and this is how you repay us? With demands and ugly names?” He took a step toward her, towering over her, his hand raised as if to hit her again. “Would you rather have grown up to have been like that whore you refer to as your mother –“

“My Lord!” His wife cautioned but her husband had been pushed too far she realized. It was time that Aelora heard everything.

“Don’t call my mother that!” Aelora screamed, scrambling to her feet. “How dare you –“

“How dare I what? Tell the truth?” He replied, grabbing her arm roughly and shaking her. “That is exactly what she was. When she came to us, begging us to take in her child and help her, she was diseased with Narn serum sickness, which she had contracted while caring for her Narn lover, this Captain Da’Tan. Before she could rid herself of the disease, the two of you were forced to flee from the outpost because the Psi Cops had found you once more. All of this time you have behaved as if it were somehow our fault that we raised you when your blame should have been focused on the woman who mated with animals.”

Aelora’s eyes narrowed and she moved to kick Lord Kyra but he slapped her hard again, then pushed her into a nearby chair. She struggled to sit up, her head spinning, her mind whirling with an overload of information she knew she was too weak to disseminate. But she could not stop herself; she had to know it all. “You are lying! Narn serum sickness is curable, even twenty years ago. If you had taken her to a good physician – “

“What?” Lord Kyra exploded. “And associate with a Narn lover? Are you out of your mind? Why would we bother to save the life of someone so determined to contaminate the galaxy? When she asked us to take you in, we considered ignoring her request. After all, the Jhawa does not fall far from the tree, now does it? But then my wife, in one of her less brilliant moments, decided that since we were not blessed with a child of our own, we should take in the little Human and raise her the right way. Raise her to understand that there are those who are inferior to her and that they are not to be pitied or accepted but eliminated! Unfortunately, it appears we did not do our job.”

Rage such as she had never known tore through Aelora, only to be stifled by pain that numbed her. Everything she had believed had been a lie, her entire life shrouded around hatred and ignorance. “You murdered my mother,” she stated, her voice monotone.

“We did no such thing,” Lady Kyra replied, speaking up finally. “She was the one who associated with those creatures, she was the one who got sick. After all, it was not as if she begged us to help her. Frankly, I was surprised she showed so much caring for you.”

“My mother loved me,” Aelora snapped.

“Did she?” Lady Kyra pulled on a chain that hung around her neck. Attached to it was a tiny silver vial. “Remember this?”

Aelora lunged at the woman but Lord Kyra grabbed her around the waist, holding her back. “Give me that! That’s mine!” She shouted.

“Your mother loved you so much that she was prepared to murder you, her own daughter! No doubt it was planned by her Narn lover!”

“That’s not true!” She sobbed. “My mother loved me. She was protecting me!”

“Protecting you from what?” Lord Kyra snarled in her ear. “We see nothing spectacular about you, nothing that your Psi Corps would have wanted. What are you hiding from us, Aelora?”

Aelora’s strength gave out on her and she collapsed to the floor, sobbing uncontrollably. “Nothing…” She cried. “Nothing…”

“You ungrateful little bitch,” Lord Kyra told her, moving around to stand with his wife and stare down at her. “We have given you everything only for you to turn on us like this!” He crouched down in front of her, grabbing her chin roughly and yanking her head up to look at him. “None of this leaves these chambers, is that understood? Tomorrow the Court will see a happy family, the perfect example of a Centauri House. For you mark my words, daughter, whatever happens to us, happens to you as well. No matter how hard you fight it, no matter what you say or do, you are now and always will be a Kyra! Do not begin to believe yourself better than us, for you are not! We know you. We have seen the things you have said and done to the Narns in order to gain our acceptance. You are as damned as the rest of us so do not begin to believe that some Narn somewhere will suddenly forgive you for your hatred and everything will be perfect. On Narn, as here, you are a Kyra. You deal in the buying and selling of Narn slaves. And only here, among the three of us, are you the daughter of a Narn whore. Is that understood?”

Aelora could only nod weakly, unable to handle more of his cruel words or stinging truth. She climbed slowly to her feet, swaying unsteadily, her gaze resting on the silver vial Lady Kyra still held in her hand.

“May I have that please?” She asked meekly. “To remember her by?”

“Why, of course, dear,” Lady Kyra smiled, pulling off from around her neck and handing it out to her. Just as Aelora went to grab it, Lady Kyra dropped it to the floor and stomped on it hard with her foot, crushing it to pieces.

After Aelora left the Kyra’s quarters, she spent the next hour wandering the palace halls aimlessly. A part of Aelora yearned to be able to go back in time and keep herself from going to the Kyra’s demanding the truth. It would have been easier to go through life thinking she was something she was not than to learn all along that she had been misled. Her entire life had been a lie, and for what? Had they truly saved the galaxy from another abomination like her mother?

Her mother. Aelora found herself wishing she were there at the moment, wishing that she had more memories to carry with her. All her life her mother had simply been a ghost to her, the woman who had given her life and then left her to live it alone. Now, Soria Campbell had substance and life in Aelora’s heart and she wanted so very much to have her mother there with her now, to tell her she loved her and that she was sorry she had forgotten her. Aelora had spent a lifetime doing what was expected of her because she had wanted to be loved. And all along, none of it had ever mattered because the love had not been there to give. Aelora had been an experiment to the Kyra’s, nothing more. And for their acceptance, she had thrown away every bit of her identity that had resided inside of her.

When Aelora finally pulled away from her musings long enough to take in her surroundings, she realized she had found her way to the cellblock and in her heart, she immediately knew what she meant to do. Barely acknowledging the guard, who happened to be loyal to the House of Mollari, Aelora took hold of the latch and quietly pulled the door open.

As the stream of bright light poured into the cell, G’Kar put a hand over his eyes, glaring up at the intruder. Either it was Cartagia looking for some late night “fun” or Mollari with another ridiculous request. As it turned out, it was neither, and once G’Kar realized whom it was, he quickly found himself wishing it had been Cartagia.

“Hello, G’Kar,” Aelora said softly, closing the door behind her.

The Narn found he had no idea what she expected of him. The last time she had been in his cell, she had cried on his chest and told him she loved him. At first, he had found himself wanting to believe her, to believe that she had found no joy in the cruel torture that she had participated in. But the longer he had to think about it, the longer he had to relive over and over again the last words she had said to him on Babylon 5, the more G’Kar reminded himself of what a brilliant little actress she was. She had appeared so terrified and alone when Cartagia had held her before him as they had torn the skin from his body that he had almost felt sorry for her. And the entire ‘fainting’ episode deserved some sort of award as far as he was concerned. The last straw though, was the remarkable speech she had given when she had believed him to be unconscious. How she had poured her heart out to him, as if he might somehow believe that she was not the monster she had shown herself to be. Even her kisses had felt real…

G’Kar’s ire rose as he remembered the feel of her mouth against his. He realized, after the many times he had seen the Centauri Emperor fondling her, that she would play the whore to anyone if it got her what she wanted. And now she stood before him, her red curls falling around her shoulders, her eyes wide with an innocence he doubted she had ever carried. He wanted to hurt her…and he wanted to kiss her and do all of the things to her body he was certain Cartagia had done. After all, was the Centauri Emperor so much better than him?

“How are you feeling?” Aelora asked, and then mentally kicked herself the moment the words came out. Stupid, she thought. How do you think he is feeling?

The Narn continued to ignore her and Aelora found herself growing uncomfortable under his unwavering gaze. There was something in his eyes, something she could not quite pinpoint, that was frightening her. She was beginning to realize that this was not the G’Kar she had come to know, to love. There was someone different before her, someone who looked as if he could do her harm and be very pleased with himself while he did so.

G’Kar noted the telltale worrying of her lip and guessed that she was afraid. Good. It was about time she knew that he was not going to cower before anyone, least of all her.

“I came to say… ” She trailed off; uncertain of the words she wanted to speak, uncertain of why she had even come there. After all, what could G’Kar do? She began wringing her hands together, both to stave off the oncoming numbness and gather some warmth. “I don’t know why I am here, really. I just… just came from the Kyra’s apartments and… ” She shook her head. “It doesn’t matter anymore, I guess. Sometimes you learn the truth too late.”

G’Kar frowned at the hopelessness that was all too evident in her voice. What did she have to pity herself about? He wondered. He continued to remain silent, picturing himself doing all of the things to her she would never allow because he was an “animal”, telling himself she was not worth it, that he was not into Centauri seconds. And hating himself for the fact that a tiny portion of his heart still wanted to reach out to her, beg her to see him as someone she could truly love, someone she wanted to be with.

Aelora was uncertain of what to do, how to get him to respond to her. She questioned the wisdom of doing so but realized she would rather have him strike her than continue to ignore her. “Please say something, G’Kar,” she begged finally. “Even if just to tell me you hate me.”

He would not give into her though, preferring to see the desperation light across her face.

Aelora started to take a step toward him when the familiar feeling of vertigo washed over her and she almost fell. Stumbling back against the door, she looked up to see G’Kar watching her with a snide smile. His indifference tore at her and she suddenly began to believe that coming to see him was not such a good idea. What had she hoped to accomplish anyway. She turned to go, stopping only when she heard the Narn moving behind her.

“Was all of it a lie?”

G’Kar did not know why he was suddenly prompted to speak or why he had chosen to ask that particular question. He mentally chided himself for not just letting her go or taking his revenge by having her there on the cell floor. He prayed that she would ignore his question that she would continue out the door but instead she hesitated.

“All of it?” She questioned.

He told himself to ignore her, to let it go. After all, if she did not understand the question, then he already knew the answer. But his heart continued to ignore the wiser part of him, perhaps needing the closure he continually denied himself. “Pretending to be my friend,” he continued. “Pretending to care. Was there ever a point that you did?”

Aelora turned back to him, a lately unfamiliar feeling of hope blossoming through her. “Pretend?” She took a deep breath, uncertain of how to proceed. She could continue to carry on the lie now, just as it had always been through her life, or she could for once live up to the truth and to hell with the consequences. She had nowhere to go from here, no future that she could foresee. Either Cartagia would tire of his games or the Sleepers would finish their work. None of it mattered any longer except the being who stood before her. Of anyone, it was he who deserved the truth.

“Pretend?” Aelora’s voice cracked at the word and she quickly put a hand to her mouth, hoping to stave off the tears that threatened. So much had been lost. “I did pretend, G’Kar, but not how you think. I pretended in my heart that I was doing the right thing, that by making you hate me I was somehow saving us both…but it didn’t turn out that way, did it?” She hung her head, once more chewing on her lower lip, carefully considering her words. “I pretended to despise you, G’Kar, because I was afraid not to. I pretended that I thought myself better than you were because you made me see how terrible I really was. I pretended that I was spying on you because I could not live with your death.”

G’Kar’s anger exploded and reaching out he grabbed her roughly by the shoulders, lifting her and slamming her into the wall. “Do not lie to me again!” He roared.

Pain shot through Aelora at the impact and for a moment the blackness of unconsciousness threatened to consume her. She fought her way up, out of the suffocating dark and weakly replied, “No. G’Kar. Please… ”

He continued to hold her there, the scent of her washing over him, stirring his arousal. He remembered the feel of her fingers against his chest and the taste of her lips against his and all thought fled him. He pressed himself hard against her, his mouth capturing hers in a brutal, punishing kiss, his hands moving to touch her, feel her as she had never allowed him to. He felt her struggle beneath the onslaught and it only served to pique both his anger and desire. He would teach her that he was a better lover than a hundred Centauri!

Aelora’s mind screamed for release as panic immediately set in. Something inside her snapped at G’Kar’s cruel touch and she was suddenly back in the Emperor’s chambers, consumed by a drug that left her helpless against his frenzied, hateful touch. She felt Cartagia’s mouth and hands on her once more, heard the threats he whispered with his hot breath into her ear. The overpowering memory swept her along on its tide until all coherent thought left her. She pounded her fists against her attacker, kicking madly, sobbing out the terror that filled her. She did not even seem to notice when the hold on her loosened and she fell to the floor on her knees, shaking and weeping.

“Please, Your Majesty,” she whimpered. “I’ve learned my lesson. Please, don’t touch me!”

G’Kar stepped back, away from the trembling, incoherent form that lay huddled at his feet. Her words hit him, forcing him to ask himself if he were becoming the same sort of monster as those who held him. Certainly she had caused him pain but was his revenge worth this? Yes, he had expected her to fight him, but out of anger and disgust, not fright. Fear was not a trait he was accustomed to seeing in the Human female. Especially such paralyzing fear as what currently gripped her. Uncertain of what to do, G’Kar simply spoke her name, softly, almost a whisper.

Aelora looked up at his voice then began to glance around as if realizing where she was. She scrambled back to her feet, clinging against the wall as far out of G’Kar’s reach as she could. She huddled there for a few moments before speaking:

“He knows.”

G’Kar was about to admit that the Human before him had finally gone over the edge. She had obviously been around the Centauri Emperor for too long.

“Cartagia knows,” she repeated, finally turning her head to regard the Narn. Her gaze was distant, detached. She giggled suddenly though there was no mirth in the sound. “Londo knows, too. But Londo doesn’t care. It seems everyone knows but you…”

“If you have come here to simply throw riddles at me, then you are welcome to leave at any time,” G’Kar snarled, turning his back to her.

“I suppose I could stay if I preferred to be raped!”

The Narn whirled around, his hand raised to strike her at her insolence but she was suddenly standing before him, chin raised defiantly, as if daring him to do so. And the more he considered it, the more he realized that it would only take one strike and he could very well kill her. She was ill, that much was very evident. When he had held her he had felt bones when there should have been flesh, her skin was beyond pale, almost translucent in the dark and her eyes were dark, hollow. Slowly he lowered his hand to his side, turning his gaze away from her. It was wrong that he should feel shame that he should feel guilty for anything that he did to her. After all, she deserved his hatred, his anger, and his violence. Didn’t she?

“Cartagia knows what?” G’Kar finally asked, steering focus back to the original topic.

Aelora watched him silently for a moment; thinking to herself how very much she hated to see the deep cuts and wounds that lined his face. “He knows that my loyalty is not to him. He knows that I care for a Narn much more than a good little Centauri girl should.”

G’Kar laughed at that, his tone biting and cruel. “Then he is a fool!”

“You’re the fool, G’Kar!” Aelora snapped, unable to take blame anymore for something of which she was innocent. “You’re the fool for not realizing that I would do anything, say anything to protect those I care about! And when those I care about suddenly conflict with one another – then what am I supposed to do?”

He turned his back to her once more, moving to the other side of the cell, not wishing to hear anymore of her lies. He hoped that she would take the cue to leave but when she spoke again he realized this was not the case.

“When Rane showed up at my door on Babylon 5 to tell me that cousin Tiro had been executed for helping Narns escape their captivity, I certainly did not think that would mean the destruction of my world would then follow.” At G’Kar’s look she nodded. “I didn’t tell you about Tiro. I figured you would put two and two together and then my plan wouldn’t work. But yes, obviously Tiro’s guilt came back to haunt him and Cartagia had him beheaded. And suddenly the Kyra family is under suspicion. Who else in the great and glorious House of Kyra might be consorting with the Narns?” She asked sarcastically. “Wait! What has our little adopted Human been up to lately? Why, it appears she has developed some sort of relationship with the last of the Kha’Ri! Perhaps we should take care of the situation before it means the entire fall of our House!”

Aelora held out her hands in supplication when G’Kar only glanced at her with a disbelieving gaze. “What was I supposed to go, G’Kar? It was between your death and that of my family. I couldn’t allow either to happen. So I lied. I told them I was spying on you… ” She trailed off, her eyes closed. “Only… Only Rane didn’t believe me. He wanted proof. So I had to tell him about the shipment.” When next she returned her gaze to him, her eyes were filled with unshed tears. “But believe me, G’Kar, had I known that those Narns would lose their lives I would not have done so! I would have thought of something else, I promise! He told me he wasn’t going to hurt anyone and I --- “

“You believed him?” G’Kar asked incredulously. “By G’Quan, Aelora! Even if what you say is true, certainly you would have known that they would not have sent those involved off with a slap on the wrist?”

“But I didn’t,” she replied softly. “Yes, it was stupid and naïve of me but you have to understand I never truly believed the Centauri capable of…of this!” She spread her arms wide, implicating both him and her. “I thought we were right, G’Kar. And just! I thought that everything I was taught was truth… ”

“And now?”

“Now?” She repeated. “Now I know everything has been a lie. My entire life, a lie.”

“Forgive me if I do not fall to my knees in tears for you,” G’Kar caustically.

Aelora shook her head. “What the hell do you want from me, G’Kar? I’ve given you the truth.”

“Oh yes, you care so much for me,” G’Kar threw back at her. “I must have somehow missed that when you yanked that dart out of my back or ripped some of my skin off to make yourself a new purse.”

“You think that was easy for me?” She cried, the tears finally beginning to fall. “I was taught my lessons of loyalty long before that, G’Kar! Oh yes, Cartagia certainly let me know who was in charge between the drugs and the threats. So don’t you fool yourself that I have been on some sort of dream vacation here! I hate what I have seen them do to you! I have wanted nothing more than tear out Cartagia’s black heart with my bare hands --- but I can’t! I am weak and I am tired and… and I don’t want them to take it out on you… ”

G’Kar wanted to believe her. He wanted to know that those tears that fell on her cheeks were real, that the pain in her voice was not simply a well-thought out performance meant to gain his sympathy. But the wounds were too fresh, too deep. If she had truly lied to her cousin about spying on him, then why had she not told him so? He could have protected himself, could have helped her.

Aelora knew she had not yet pushed through the last of the barrier G’Kar had erected around himself to keep her from hurting him again. She knew it would be a hard task but had not realized how much so. It only went to prove how much he did love her that she could hurt him so completely. Desperately she wanted to take it all back but knew it was an impossible task. All that was left before her was to somehow regain his trust. She knelt down beside him, pulling her robe tightly around her to keep the chill that permeated the air from harming her further. She was so very tired and cold and another headache threatened in the distance but she knew she would suffer untold pain if only it meant regaining G’Kar’s love.

“Tonight I had a breakthrough in remembering who I am, G’Kar. No, I really did. You see my believing I was Centauri that wasn’t an act. I truly believed it. Until last night, when all of the memories I had suppressed for over twenty years suddenly came back to me.

“I was six years old when I saw my first Narn on Centauri Prime. My class had a special assignment to go and see the Narn, “to learn and understand the truth of their inferiority” our schoolmaster had told us. So here I was, the outcast, the intruder, who no one trusted and I saw this being behind bars, being tortured and humiliated by these misguided children…well, I wouldn’t stand for it. See, I had met Narns before, with my mother. We were on the run from Psi Corps and they were kind enough to provide us with an escape on their ship. I remembered them as being brave and kind and trustworthy, not barbaric and certainly not animals the way the Centauri had said they were. So I had tried to protect this Narn, and for my kindness I was sent home, where I thought I would receive some sort of consolation. Instead, I was beaten. I was told if I did not become Centauri, I would be sent away. I was six, G’Kar. I was terrified. All I wanted was a mommy and daddy and if I had to be like them to gain their love, then so be it. So they shaved my head, stole my identity, forced me to watch the execution of the Narn I attempted to protect, and I was Centauri. And I quickly learned the only lesson the Kyra’s had ever given me: hatred. I could not hate my mother who, although had abandoned me to this fate, had loved me until her last dying breath. I could not hate the Kyra’s, though they robbed me of any memory, or shred of identity that was mine alone, because they had provided me with a home and a future. That left only one direction for my hatred to flow and, much to the delight of Lord and Lady Kyra, I learned this one lesson quite well. It was because of the Narn that my identity was stolen from me that I now looked just like all of the other Centauri girls with their shiny heads and lifeless, apathetic eyes.”

Aelora paused for a moment to wipe away the tears that had gathered in her eyes. She was not looking at G’Kar, not noticing that his attention had turned to her fully now and his eyes had began to see her more clearly.

“I went to see the Kyra’s an hour ago,” she continued. “I demanded to know the truth. Guess I am just a glutton for punishment or something.” She tried to smile but failed and she ran a frustrated hand through her hair. “Anyway, I discovered that all this time I had been fighting to protect these people, to keep their love, even though they never had! Loved me, I mean. I was just some sort of experiment to them. To see if they could truly ‘rehabilitate’ a Human.” She laughed in disgust then turned to look at G’Kar. “And do you know what the ironic part of it all is?”

The Narn only shook his head.

“The Narn captain I remembered, the one who rescued my mother and I? He was my mother’s lover. The biological mother of Lady Aelora Kyra was in love with a Narn.”

Aelora took G’Kar’s continued silence as yet another rejection and her heart broke. She climbed wearily to her feet and moved toward the door as if to leave. Before she opened it though, she turned once more to him.

“I don’t know what more I can give you, G’Kar. I don’t know what more you want…perhaps if you told me…” Her voice cracked and she trailed off, the tears once more flowing freely. “I do love you. I’m not lying. I’ll tell it to you a million times if it would make a difference…but apparently I am too late.” She straightened herself as if to retain an ounce of the dignity she had left in her, though none of it really seemed to matter anymore. “I don’t know what is going to happen… The Sleepers… they are killing me. Morden even admitted it. Funny thing is, I am too afraid to not let them.” She allowed a small smile at this. “This time running away didn’t seem to help much.”

She turned to leave then, hesitating only when G’Kar said, “Stop taking them.”

“I can’t.”

“I am not asking you to,” G’Kar replied sternly. “I am telling you. Stop taking the injections.”

Aelora whirled around to glare at him. “Why do you care? Why should I listen to you? Doesn’t this make your life simpler? Doesn’t this give you your revenge?”

“Stop it, Aelora!” G’Kar shouted back at her, jumping to his feet. “Just stop it! You have had your chance to play at the poor, pathetic little child. If you truly have discovered who you really are then you would know that you are stronger than that, that this self-pity does not become you. Yes, I am angry and hurt at what you did to me. Maybe you never really had been spying, maybe you truly did care, but that does not take away the sting of your words, the deaths of those three Narns or the fact that you did not trust me enough to tell me what was going on.”

“I couldn’t!” Aelora cried, sobbing. “I had to make you hate me! Or you would never have…have…”

“I would never have left your side?” G’Kar prompted. “I would have done anything to protect you and keep you safe?”

She nodded.

“Well, it seems you did at least come to know me,” he commented. “No matter what has happened between us, Aelora, no matter what has been said, I do not believe I could live with your death on my conscience.”

“How kind of you,” Aelora snapped, wiping angrily at the tears that would not stop. “But fortunately, the Sleepers have nothing to do with you!” She reached for the latch on the door but G’Kar reached out and grabbed her arm, pulling her behind him and positioning himself in front of it. “Let me out of here!” She demanded. “Or I will start screaming until Cartagia himself comes to put you in your place!”

“Will you?” G’Kar taunted. “Do it then. Go ahead.”

Aelora remained silent, knowing she could never do such a thing. She continued to glare at the Narn, her heart racing from the strength she had exerted, her head pounding. If the truth were known, she had not felt this alive since she had arrived on Centauri Prime.

Clenching her fists at her sides she demanded in a soft voice, “Step aside.”

“Promise me you will stop taking the injections,” G’Kar retorted, loving the glint of obstinacy that was glowing in the green eyes before him.

“No.”

He folded his arms. “Now you are just being difficult.”

Aelora closed her eyes, refusing to allow herself to even begin to believe that he cared. “What does it matter to you, G’Kar? Can’t you just let me walk out that door and pretend I was never here? That we never had this conversation?”

“Can you?” He took a step toward her. “Aelora, I do not know if I can ever trust you again. I do not know if I can trust you now. I do not know if I can forgive you or forget everything that has happened. But I do know this: the thought of your death scares me. It scares the hell out of me. No matter how many times since our conversation in the Zocalo I have pictured your death at my own hands, I knew I could never see it through. All you have to do is look at me, just like that and I…I…” He cursed angrily under his breath and moved away from her, back toward the corner of his cell.

“You do care,” Aelora whispered softly as hope poured through her. She had heard it in his voice, the frustration, the anger was there… and so was the need.

“Get out of here,” G’Kar snarled. “Go back to your Emperor.”

Aelora turned to him, noting the lack of resolve in his voice. He was afraid of getting hurt again and she understood that. “I’ll make you love me again, G’Kar. I will. I don’t know how and I don’t know when but someday I will show you the true depth of my feelings. And then you will know none of this has been a lie. You’ll know I am sorry for the pain I put you through, sorry for not trusting your ability to protect me… to protect both of us. And then… and then we’ll have a chance to begin again, G’Kar. And – and I will spend the rest of my life making you happy.”

“Do not make promises you cannot keep,” G’Kar replied sadly, refusing to face her.

She shook her head, unable to speak for a moment. Finally she said, “I love you, G’Kar. No matter what happens after I walk out this door, I will love you for the rest of my life.”

G’Kar remained still until he heard the door close then finally turned around. The scent of her still lingered and he closed his eyes against the memories it invoked. He did believe her, and it astonished him as the realization took over. Her lying to get him to hate her, to ‘protect’ him, sounded exactly like the type of naïve resolution Aelora would come up with. Her voice had been honest and her eyes had told him all he needed to know. So why had he not told her he believed? Why had he let her leave from there with her heart believing otherwise? Mentally he shook his head. Perhaps it was for the protection of both of them, so that neither of them got their hopes up about something that was yet to happen. After all, if what she had said before she left were true, they would have their entire lives to make up for ‘what should have been’.

The next morning, Aelora was feeling better than she had in many weeks. It was not that she was physically well, not yet, but the promises she had made to herself in the hours before dawn had healed her emotionally. Still the morning began as usual, a headache forcing her to take pain relievers and a bout of nausea that only served to produce more mouthfuls of blood. Remembering Morden’s warning that signs of blood meant that she was halfway to destroying herself, Aelora decided she would do as G’Kar asked and stop taking the injections. She was not certain yet how she would handle her psi abilities once they returned but she did know that she no longer wished to run away from them. She had already damaged her body greatly but was positive in the belief that it would heal itself once the Sleepers wore off.

She had also come to terms with the person she was and the person she wanted to be. Though she knew she had to remain as the proper Centauri lady until G’Kar was safe and they could both return to Babylon 5, Aelora was determined to change once she arrived there. She would become someone her mother and father could have been proud of, someone that G’Kar could once more begin to love.

Choosing her clothing carefully, Aelora was determined to catch Cartagia off-guard with how proper and loyal she could be. No longer would she be subjected to anymore of his ‘lessons’ or threats. He would soon tire of her perfect behavior and move on to other amusements while she waited quietly for Londo to make his move. The gown she chose was a deep emerald green velvet shot through with silver threads and trimmed in silver lace with a low-scooped neckline and tight-fitting waist. The sleeves fell off her shoulders and she was careful to dab a sprinkle of shimmering powder over her skin for added effect. She wore emeralds and diamonds around her wrists and throat and carefully tucked her hair neatly under a matching headdress. Aelora then applied makeup that was meant to accentuate her green eyes and pale skin. She knew she had not looked so presentable since she had first arrived back on Centauri Prime.

As she moved through the palace toward the throne room to once more spend a day in the company of the Court, Aelora’s thoughts turned to the night before and her conversation with G’Kar. She had come so close to regaining his acceptance, so close to once more obtaining his love. But she had also seen the hesitancy in him, the fear of trusting. It was painful to know that she had destroyed something so completely. She was uncertain how she would ever make up for it but she was determined that if it took a lifetime to do so, she would accomplish what she had set out to do.

Entering the throne room, Aelora quickly made her way over to Cartagia, curtseying respectfully to him. The look on the Centauri’s face told her that he was not buying into her act but she was determined to prove herself to be the proper Centauri. If the only way to ensure G’Kar’s safety, as well as that of her own, was to give Cartagia exactly what he wanted, then so be it.

“Aelora,” he greeted. “How good of you to join us. I was just telling the others about how you assisted me yesterday with the Narn. I do hope the stains can be removed from your dress.”

Aelora ignored the laughs of Cartagia and the courtiers and instead replied arrogantly. “I would not wish to wear something that has been defiled by animal filth anyway, Majesty.”

The Emperor jumped to his feet to quickly wrap an arm around the Human. “Spoken like a true, Centauri,” he proclaimed proudly. “I knew we had no reason to doubt a daughter of House of Kyra.”

Aelora smiled brightly, forcing aside the disgust she felt as he caressed her hip. Instead she leaned into his touch proving to him that she had truly learned from his lessons. She reached out to grab a goblet of Bravari from a tray carried by a passing servant. She drank from it voracious, hoping that it would numb her senses to the insanity that surrounded her.

Cartagia brought his lips close to her ear, whispering so that none of the others would hear. “I did not think you would be eager to drink in my presence again.”

Aelora laughed innocently at his attempt to goad her. “I trust you, Majesty. Besides, you were right. I was misguided, but now I know where my loyalties lie.” She brought her hand up to touch his cheek gently all the while gazing into his eyes seductively.

He smiled back at her, tightening his hold on her before his eyes were pulled to the entryway as several guards entered the throne room. With them, in chains, was G’Kar. At the sight of the Narn, the Centauri quickly cast a suspicious glance at Aelora. However the Human’s expression remained unchanged and he found himself quickly believing her veracity.

Upon seeing G’Kar, an intense pain started to build in the pit of Aelora’s stomach. Desperately she fought against it, knowing that it would not do to spark Cartagia’s suspicions again. Instead she joined in with the other courtiers as they laughed and commented crudely. Finally the Emperor moved away from her to stand before G’Kar, glaring at him hatefully before turning to signal one of the guards. After whispering something to him, the guard quickly left and Cartagia turned to address the assemblage.

“It appears that this Narn is more stubborn than I initially believed. We beat him, stab him with darts, even our lovely Aelora could not elicit a scream from him. My only conclusion is that he has truly enjoyed his time with us… and why not?” At this he paused allowing their laughter to die down before continuing. “Perhaps we should give him something to truly enjoy.”

With that he smiled broadly and turned to regard the entryway. After a few short moments the guard returned with a young Narn female. Like G’Kar, she too was chained and her ripped clothing made it easy to see the evidence of her numerous beatings at the hands of the Centauri. Her eyes had a glazed look that Aelora immediately recognized as being the one her own eyes had had after the evening she had spent with Cartagia. The horror Aelora felt increased the longer she stared at the young Narn. It was clear from her expression that she did not possess the strength that G’Kar did and that what remained of her was little more than a living shell of what, Aelora assumed, had once been a vibrant young female. From what the Human could tell, she was perhaps a few years younger than herself but her features clearly showed the effects of the hardships she had been forced to face.

Cartagia moved to take the chain attached to the young female’s neck from the guard. He wrapped it around his hand, and then violently pulled her over to where G’Kar stood. He then hooked the chain around a brass hook on one of the marble columns to prevent her from falling before moving back to Aelora once again wrapping his arm tightly around her.

Aelora cast furtive glances at the other courtiers, looking to them for answers to what Cartagia was doing. As it appeared none of them knew anymore than she, she finally looked to Cartagia. It was clear to her that he saw the same blank expressions that she did, when he demanded of the Narn:

“Take her!” He commanded, his voice clearly emphasizing his belief in the stupidity of G’Kar’s race. When the Narn continued to stare blankly at him, he sighed deeply. “You are so stupid! I am giving her to you, she will not resist, I assure you.” Cartagia then walked over to the Narn female and cupped her face roughly in his hand. It was apparent that the site of her repulsed Cartagia but he did not let that dissuade him. “She is practically begging you.” He laughed watching as she teetered on the edge of consciousness. Letting go of his hold on the young female, he watched dispassionately as her chin flopped to her chest before drawing near to G’Kar. He studied the Narn for several moments with intense interest before once again erupting into laughter. “Are you afraid we have ruined her for you? I assure you that we prefer Centauri.” He paused returning to his place beside Aelora, clutching her possessively. “Or Human females. None of us would consider touching an… animal, in such a fashion.” When G’Kar’s gaze moved to fall on Aelora, Cartagia was quick to react. “Oh!” He exclaimed. “It appears that the Narn has taken an interest in our lovely Lady Kyra.”

As the courtiers began to laugh, Aelora found herself once again recoiling in dread. She hated to see G’Kar being mocked in such a fashion. He was a kind and noble being and to see him degraded by an unfeeling madman cut to the core of her being. Sadly she knew she could not risk interceding, knowing it would do little good even if she tried. She knew the Emperor was only using her as an instrument to hurt G’Kar and if she resisted it would only make it that much more enjoyable for him. So she remained silent, even as Cartagia took her hand in his, pulling her to within reach of G’Kar. He positioned himself beside the young woman, wrapping an arm around her bare shoulder. “Yes, Aelora. I think he does quite fancy you. Do you not, Narn? Even after all she has done to you, the pain and the torture. You still want her. Do you honestly think she would want you? Do you believe yourself capable of touching her the way a Centauri could? Of making her cry out as I did?” He ran his hand across Aelora’s breast, fondling her through the ornate fabric of her bodice before gently kissing her neck. “Does it bother you to see me touch her? Do you hate to see me kiss her? Do you long to have her, as only I have?”

It took every ounce of control Aelora had to keep from striking the detestable Centauri beside her. The feel of his hands on her, even through the fabric of her gown, brought back the memories of the horrid evening spent in his chambers. Aelora swallowed hard against the nausea that threatened to return and could do no more than lean into Cartagia’s touch, if only to prevent herself from collapsing.

G’Kar watched Cartagia’s molestation of Aelora, gritting his teeth in anger. It took all the strength he possessed not to lash out at the detestable Centauri before him. After Aelora’s late night confessions to him, he found himself torn. Torn between what his heart was telling him and what his eyes were seeing. She had come to him in desperation, assuring him of her sincerity, telling him that she loved him, that everything that she had been a part of had been only out of her own fear and hopelessness. Yet now, seeing her in Cartagia’s embrace, allowing him to touch and kiss her in ways he himself could only imagine, cast doubt over everything she had confessed. His mind told him that he was a fool for daring to believe in the young Human yet his heart urged him to do so, told him that there was some truth behind all that she told him. He cast an imperceptible glance at the Narn female, noting the almost upsetting resemblance between her and Aelora. Both possessed the look of one beaten into submission, their sunken, languid eyes held the appearance of someone who only awaited death. He stopped himself in his comparison, chiding himself for even doing so. Here was a Narn who had suffered unimaginably at the hands of the Centauri, as all her people had. To even consider likening her sacrifices to those of the Human was unthinkable. Withdrawing once again into that quiet corner of his mind, he reassumed the façade of apathy.

Cartagia watched the Narn intently noting that, for a moment, his features contorted slightly in rage. Yet to his chagrin, when he began to believe that he had found a way to harm the Narn, G’Kar’s features return to their usual indifference. The Centauri sighed deeply, trying to keep his anger from spilling forth. He could not fathom where the Narn’s stubbornness came from, but then, he reminded himself that G’Kar was a Narn and their mental faculties were always to be questioned. He had hoped, however, that this one would be different. Regardless, he was not going to let the apparent obstinacy and stupidity ruin all that he had planned for the last of the Kha’Ri.

“Apparently,” Cartagia pouted. “Our dear Lady Kyra does not spark his interest after all. I do not know whether she should be insulted or relieved.”

As the courtiers joined Cartagia in his laughter once again, Aelora began to worry her lower lip. She dreamed of being anywhere but here, longed to be away from the demented Emperor and the madness that swarmed around him. She could not look at G’Kar and yet could not bear to pull her eyes away from him. Everything in her begged to go to him, to touch him if only once more, if only to remind herself that she was still alive. Sadly she reminded herself that this was not possible, that even showing the slightest hint of compassion towards the Narn would cement both their fates.

She was pulled from her reverie when Cartagia released his hold on her allowing her to make a quick retreat back to the others. Here amongst the other courtiers it was easy to appear as complacent as the others, here she did not have the Emperor scrutinizing her every movement.

Cartagia walked over to the female Narn, studying her with great interest. He even, at one point, dared to touch her, which both shocked and amused the assemblage. Smiling broadly he returned to stand before G’Kar, clasping his hands behind his back. “How I do pity you, Narn,” he commented blandly. “It is no wonder you run to the females of other species.” He paused, walking away from the Narn, then turned back to continue. “The thing I find most puzzling is why they would want you, what with the stench, not to mention the fact that you are little more than animals. There must be something. Perhaps if you showed us.”

G’Kar remained where he was, unmoving, finding it difficult to believe what it was the Centauri was demanding of him. Even in seclusion he would not dream of violating the defenseless young female beside him. He quickly scanned the assemblage, looking for signs of the same disgust he was feeling at the Emperor’s order. To his surprise he found none. Instead he was greeted by looks of great interest and curiosity and it soon became clear that they were as eager to witness his rape of the young female as their maniacal Emperor was. He shifted his gaze back to Cartagia, keeping it passive and withdrawn.

“Come, come Narn,” he mocked. “Do not be shy. Here let me help you get started.” With that he moved over to the young female and ripped her already tattered top, exposing her breasts.

Many in the court gasped in abhorrence, not at what Cartagia had done, but rather what they were seeing. It was the Narn’s half-nude appearance that offended and disgusted them. Aelora too gasped in horror but her reasons differed from those around her. Her mind immediately remembered the night she had been violated by Cartagia, how he had ripped her own clothing from her body in much the same way he was currently doing to the Narn. She was reminded of her own humiliation at her inability to cover and protect herself from the Emperor’s attacks. She swallowed back her anger and hatred as those around her began to point and gawk and eventually laugh at the defenseless prisoner.

“It cannot be that hard,” Cartagia continued to goad. “I have heard Narns will mate with anything.” He watched G’Kar’s stubborn refusal for a few moments longer, before walking over to a nearby guard, snatching his club from him. Keeping his eyes focused on G’Kar he struck the Narn female violently behind her left knee, causing her to collapse to the ground. With her arms still bound in chains to the column her shoulders snapped unnaturally, causing her to cry out. “See!! If I can get her to scream I am sure you can.”

Aelora clenched her eyes shut, wishing for the insanity to stop. She wanted to rail at Cartagia and all those around her as they encouraged their beloved Emperor. She even found herself cursing G’Kar’s stubborn refusal to give them what they wanted. She opened her eyes in time to see Cartagia bring the club over his head once again, this time bringing it down on the female’s abdomen.

He stormed back to G’Kar, his anger quite plain. “I do not have to hurt her, you know. But I will, if you continue to defy me. And I will keep doing it, until you do as I command. And when she is dead, I will bring out another, and another, until the floor is covered with blood and a thousand of your people lie dead at my feet.” When his threats did not elicit a response he moved back to the young female, bludgeoning her several more times until she hung limp from the chains that bound her.

Aelora once again turned away in terror, praying for the horrible images to leave her mind. She heard the laughter of those around her, heard as Cartagia once again began beating the young Narn, threatening G’Kar, assuring him that he fully intended to kill her. The sounds worked their way into her soul, eating away at her from the inside. Her mind worked quickly attempting to think of a way, any way to end the madness that threatened to consume her. She no longer cared how badly she suffered; she simply knew that she had to end it. If only to prove to G’Kar once and for all that she was not the soulless monster he believed, that everything she told him was true and that deep in the core of her soul she truly loved him. Swallowing back all her fear, all her concern for her own well-being and that of her family, she pushed her way past the other courtiers, her momentum increasing with her confidence.

Cartagia cried out in anger at the Narn’s stubborn refusal to submit before raising the club over his head once again preparing to strike the chained female. As he brought it down, however, Aelora lunged between him and his intended victim, blocking his arm with her own. The Centauri stumbled backward in disbelief but quickly gained his footing, lunging back at the Human. Reverting quickly to her Anla’shok training, Aelora brought her foot up in time sending the Centauri to the floor. She moved quickly, attempting to strike out at him with her foot, only to be stopped by two large guards. She struggled violently against them but to no avail.

Cartagia slowly rose to his feet, his seething anger apparent to those present. He stomped over to where Aelora stood still fighting against those that held her. His face contorted in rage he struck out, backhanding her hard across the face. Her adrenaline racing, Aelora reacted quickly kicking the Centauri in the groin, not fully caring that the effect it would have on a Centauri did not match what it would to a Human. Using the guards’ shock at her brashness in her favor, she easily broke free of their grip, rushing to G’Kar. She launched herself at him, wrapping her arms around him tightly as if he were a lifeline. She captured his lips with hers in a brutal, passionate kiss. She did not care about those that gasped in horror behind her or the knowledge that Cartagia and his guards would tear her from his grasp at any moment. All she cared about was professing her love for the Narn, if only once, to voice it so that all would hear of it.

She cried out in denial more than pain, as she felt someone grab her by her hair, dragging her away from G’Kar. Though she fought desperately, she knew her body was close to giving up. She had surprised even herself with her attack on Cartagia and the numbness that was quickly consuming her clearly told her that she had been more foolish than she believed.

Once Aelora was before him again, Cartagia stared at her, trying to decide what exactly to do with her. Her previous defiance to him paled in comparison to her current traitorous acts and he knew he would have to think of some way special to punish her. “Quite a display,” he commented smoothly. “I only wonder what you hoped to gain from it. “

In her anger, Aelora continued to struggle, trying desperately to strike the Centauri before her, only to have him laugh at her. “You wish to hit me, Lady Kyra?” He admonished sarcastically. “Well, we cannot have that.” With that he instructed the guard to hold her left arm out straight in front of her, then focusing a hateful gaze on her, he brought the club down on her forearm, shattering the fragile bones, causing her to cry out in pain. Then, after doing the same to the other arm, he instructed the guards to release her, allowing her to collapse at his feet. He watched dispassionately as she lay there for a few moments, shaking in pain. “All this for a Narn,” he said kicking her in the ribs twice. “You would foul yourself with an animal.”

Aelora lifted her head from the ground, focusing all her anger and hatred on the Centauri Emperor. “I would rather make love to a Narn, than allow myself to be defiled by Centauri filth.”

G’Kar watched in anguish as the Centauri kicked Aelora in the face with his booted foot, crying out in his rage. He wanted to go to her, to put himself between her and Cartagia, to be the one upon whom the Centauri could vent his anger. As the beating continued he found himself cursing Aelora for putting herself in this situation, for doubting his willingness to protect her. Aelora’s cries of pain reached his ears, cutting through him like a knife so that he wanted to scream out for it to stop, to draw the Centauri’s attention away from the Human. What came from him, however, resembled little more than a guttural snarl.

The noise was enough to pull Cartagia’s attention away from Aelora, but only briefly. He whirled around to face him, his eyes wide. Bending down, he grabbed a handful of the Human’s hair, dragging her limp form to her feet. He pulled her roughly to where the Narn stood, pushing her face to within inches of her.

G’Kar cringed at the sight of her. The beautiful face he knew was battered and bloody, her right eye swollen almost shut. He fought against the urge to strangle the Emperor, knowing little would be gained from making any move toward him.

“Does this bother you, Narn?” He asked calmly, punching Aelora in the back. “Is this how I will get my scream?”

To his surprise, it was not G’Kar, but Aelora that answered and when she did her voice was barely above a whisper. “Are you too stupid to see that you are not deserving of his scream? You cannot break him; no matter how hard you try. You are pathetic, Cartagia.”

He pulled her away from the Narn bringing her face to within inches of his. “Pathetic you say?” His tone resembled a laugh. “Let us just see how pathetic he is when he sees your head on a pike.” He held her gaze for a moment longer before releasing her, allowing her to collapse back to the floor. He kicked her once again then instructed the guards to take her and the Narns back to the cellblock.

When the guards pulled her from the floor, Aelora did not struggle. She assumed her body would not have let her even if she had wanted to. Instead she allowed herself to enjoy the elation that washed over her. She knew that Cartagia intended to follow through on his threat to have her executed and she even suspected that he would do the same to her family. Yet she found she did not care. She was free. And she realized that despite what was to come, that was all that really mattered.

“There you are Vir,” Ambassador Mollari said, spotting his attaché at the end of the corridor.

The mood around the Imperial Palace was far more reserved than other days, quieter. It was as if everyone was walking a tightrope, afraid to be the next target of Cartagia’s rage. Though everyone knew the Emperor was slipping further and further into insanity, no one was willing to go up against him.

Yet.

Falling into step beside Vir, the two Centauri made their way to the throne room, having been summoned there by the Emperor. Making their way through the silent corridors, Londo mentally cursed Aelora Kyra. He believed he had convinced her that plans were made that would deal with Cartagia and that it would be in her best interest to play along if only for the time being. Only now did he realize how stubborn the young Human truly was.

When word had first reached him, regarding Aelora’s actions in court the previous night, he prayed that the rumors were false. He always believed that Aelora possessed more sense than to oppose Cartagia. She knew the Emperor, and more importantly, she knew what he was capable of. How could she have allowed herself to become so involved with the Narn? He wondered. Had she not be raised better than that? Did she not understand the consequences of such actions? Sadly he realized that only now did she truly comprehend the latter.

Little had been said about the fate of the Human but as was customary on Centauri Prime there was plenty of rumor and speculation. He had been told that Lord and Lady Kyra had been sent for, late last night, but aside from that nothing had been confirmed about their fate or that of their adopted daughter. In Londo’s eyes this was not a good thing. After the incident with their nephew Tiro, the Kyra House had been under scrutiny. Now adding the occurrence with Aelora the previous night, he did not believe that Cartagia would neglect an opportunity to set an example for all others who may betray him. He only feared what that example might be.

Upon entering the throne room, Londo caught sight of several courtiers who milled about, quietly speaking in hushed voices, ever conscious of their Emperor. At the moment, Cartagia sat sprawled across his throne, an almost bored expression on his face. Londo bowed respectfully as did Vir and only once he raised his head again did he notice with horror the Emperor’s bloodstained hands. He swallowed hard against his increasing upset, afraid to learn the truth regarding Aelora’s fate. Not for the first time did he find himself wishing to be back on Babylon 5 arguing trivial things in the Council Chambers. He could not believe how completely Cartagia had managed to clench his fist around Centauri Prime, dragging them all down into the darkest pits of hell. An unfamiliar sense of desperation washed over him as he began to fear that there was no way out for any of them.

“Ah Mollari!” Cartagia almost sang.

A feeling of unease washed over Londo at the Emperor’s almost jovial tone. “You wished to see me, Majesty?” He asked, his own voice shaking with apprehension.

The Centauri Emperor leapt to his feet, moving over to Londo, wrapping his arm around him in feigned compassion. “Sad is it not?” He remarked blandly.

“Majesty?” Londo asked, not sure he understood what the other meant.

“The Kyra’s. I guess I can only blame myself, really. After the traitorous Tiro, I should have dealt with them.”

“Dealt with…”

Cartagia turned to face the Ambassador, the hints of a proud smile playing at the edges of his lips. “You see, Mollari. I knew you above all others would understand. You understand that when you see weakness, it can not be tolerated, it must be cut out… completely, before it pollutes us all.”

Londo stared at Cartagia in consternation, the grim realization of what had become of the Kyra family hitting him with the force of a fist. His brow furrowed in anguish and he opened his mouth to speak, only to be silenced as a handful of guards entered the throne room. Like Cartagia, Londo also turned to regard them as the entered pulling a heavily bound and chained G’Kar. For the most part the Narn appeared complacent and Londo would have accepted him as such if he did not know him so well. If there was one thing to be said about G’Kar it was his ability to hide his true emotions when the time or place demanded. The expression on the Narn’s face was enough to tell Londo that he was blaming himself for whatever was to happen to Aelora. The Centauri once again found himself mentally shaking his head. He even found himself starting to join the Narn in his blame. He had always known Aelora to be drawn to those that were considered beneath her, showing compassion even when she knew she risked being reprimanded for doing so. It was G’Kar’s behavior that he did not understand. He had been raised knowing the tyranny of the Centauri intimately and he above all others should know the danger he placed himself and the Human in with his attraction to her. The more he considered this, the more Londo felt his anger increase. He had known and come to care for Aelora from the time she was a confused young girl, had watched her grow to become the woman she was. To have her existence snuffed out now, when she should be so vibrant and full of life, because of the Narn’s own arrogance, was something the Centauri found intolerable.

“I just find it so difficult to understand,” Cartagia commented, pulling Londo from his reverie. “How a Narn -- an animal -- could bring down such a noble House as the Kyras.”

“Yes Majesty,” Londo said less than enthusiastically, his eyes never straying from the Narn.

“It is like I always said, our people are not what they used to be. We have grown weak and tolerant of those who are clearly beneath us. It is times like this, Mollari, that I am grateful to have those like you; those that understand what needs to be done and the sacrifices that need to be made.”

“And the Kyras?” Londo prompted dreading the response.

“Yes, the Kyras,” the Emperor said feigning sorrow. “They too now know the sacrifices that must be made.” At that he raised his hand and snapped his fingers, signaling for two guards who stepped forward. Each carried, in their outstretched arms, an elaborately decorated chest and disconcerted looks upon their faces. Londo joined the rest of the courtiers in their curiosity and dread, not sure he wished to see what was in the cases the guards carried.

Cartagia moved forward with childlike glee, stopping himself just short of opening the chests. He turned to regard the Narn for a moment before addressing the assemblage. “Perhaps the prisoner should be the first to see what I have here. It is, after all, because of him that we have these marvelous surprises.” Then keeping his eyes on the Narn to gauge his response, he instructed the guards to stand before him. “G’Kar of the great Narn Regime.” He laughed. “I would like you to meet Lord and Lady Kyra.”

G’Kar’s eyes widened in horror as Cartagia carefully reached into each case and withdrew the severed heads of Aelora’s adoptive parents. He held them, suspended before him, laughing maniacally as he displayed them for all to see. For the most part he seemed to delight in the looks of abhorrence he received in the way he held Lady Kyra’s head. As her head had been carefully shaved he was forced to hold on to her severed spinal column covering his already bloodied hands with even more gore. The Narn forced himself to remain silent; knowing there was no way to help Aelora and her family. Silently he cursed himself for not realizing the truth sooner, for not believing her even when his heart begged him to. He wanted to rail at the contemptible Centauri as he continued to dance about swinging the severed heads about provoking laughter from the courtiers. Every nerve in his body burned as if on fire urging him to break the chains that bound him if only to silence Cartagia. Sadly he knew he that could not, knowing that so very much was resting on his complacency. Striking out at the Emperor would only seal the fate of his people, ensuring that their suffering would continue unabated. He was torn between the love of a woman and the love of his world. The prospect of choosing between them was unthinkable.

Suddenly within him there was a spark of hope, something that surprised and pained him. He was certain that had Cartagia killed Aelora he would not have hesitated to flaunt her body about before him. But he had not. In fact, he had not even mentioned Aelora. G’Kar began to hope that, despite any suffering she might be enduring, she was still alive, imprisoned somewhere with in the bowels of the Imperial Palace. If there was one thing he knew of Cartagia it was that he did not dispose of anything that brought him amusement, and from what G’Kar had seen, Aelora did more than just that. With that thought, G’Kar could not stop himself from picturing all of the horrible things that Cartagia had done to her, all the things that Aelora had confessed to him tearfully only nights before. He remembered how he longed to hold her and kiss her tears away, assuring her that he would protect her no matter the cost. But he had not, he remembered sadly. He had sent her away, discounting everything she had professed to him, her fear, her pain… and her love. The sudden realization that Aelora had truly loved him cut through G’Kar like a knife, burying itself deeply into his soul and he choked back the pain, forcing himself not to think of the horrible images that now played in his mind. He found himself praying, to all things he believed holy, that some miracle would befall him, ensuring that Aelora would be saved. His only hope was that Mollari would move quickly now, ensuring that his plan was enacted, ridding both the Centauri and the Narn of Cartagia.

Cartagia spun around once more, catching sight of the antipathetic look on the Narn’s face. An arrogant smile flashed across his face as he moved over to stand before G’Kar, casually dropping the Kyras’ heads to the floor, ignoring the sickening thump they made.

“Have I upset you, Narn? We cannot have that now can we. Here, let me dry your eyes.”

Then with a laugh, Cartagia pulled a heavily bloodstained cloth from under his tunic. He proceeded to maliciously rub it across the Narn’s face, erasing any doubt that G’Kar might have about whose blood it had been. Noting the Narn’s anger he stepped back, barely controlling his laughter. He held the bloodied cloth in front of him, studying it with great interest, before raising it to his own nose, inhaling the scent of it deeply before:

“It still smells like her,” he commented coldly before draping around the Narn’s shoulders.

G’Kar found himself growling at the Centauri, tugging at the chains that bound him, all caution giving way to the need for vengeance. He wanted to cry out in anger and pain, strike out at the one who had dared to harm Aelora. Every cell in his body felt ready to explode with his rage, his need to make Cartagia suffer as Aelora most assuredly had. He could smell her blood on the cloth, recognized her scent as it worked it’s way into the core of his soul. In that instant he realized with deep regret and sadness that he would never again hold her, would never be able to feel the warmth of her bare skin against his own, to show her the love she so deserved. He tried to imagine himself without her and despite their differences he realized that he would never truly be whole. There would always be a void left by her, a void that could never be filled by another.

Slowly, as he watched Cartagia’s growing amusement, he calmed himself, retreating into the dark recesses of his mind. Regardless of how loudly his spirit screamed for revenge, he knew he had little hope of avenging Aelora’s death now. His façade returned to it usual passiveness, signaling to the Centauri that whatever games he wished to play, he would play alone.

Cartagia, however, had other plans. Once again he raised his hand to snap his fingers, drawing the attention of another guard. The guard moved steadily over to the Emperor, an elaborately decorated cushion balanced on his outstretched hands. Gingerly, Cartagia picked up a lock of long red hair, tied neatly with a dark green ribbon, from off the cushion. He fingered it with great curiosity, before focusing his eyes once again on G’Kar. He held it out to him, dangling it in a malevolent fashion.

“Take it,” he commanded, his voice soft, as if daring the Narn to refuse.

G’Kar stared blankly at the Centauri, every inch of him growing numb as he looked at the lock of hair being waved before him, a bloody flap of skin still attached at one end. He felt his heart grow heavy, the final realization of Aelora’s death washing over him in a cold wave. So deep was his sorrow that he failed to even notice when the guard forced open his hand, allowing Cartagia to place the last remnant of Aelora in his palm. He felt himself begin to shake, struggling against the emotions that stormed through him as he was led silently back to his cell, the remaining pieces of his world crumbling around him.

These Living Arms – The Tea Party

So a crowd has gathered around us

I’m pining one last kiss

I’m struggling with the lifeline

In the shadow of this bliss

Patience my love

It’ll all be alright

Ain’t it funny

How the fates work

I feel cheated by the turn

But this love it hovers over us

And the lessons that we’ve learned

Patience my love

We were lost inside a wasteland

Of fools groping for the gold

I wonder if they’ll think of us

While they’re searching

For their souls

Patience my love, it’ll be alright

So never put it out my love

The spirit is the flame

That burns within

Hold on to me, it’ll all work out fine

Sleep now is descending

Like a dream

Still I’m shaking from the softness

Of your skin

Hold on to me love, I’ll make it all be alright

With your arms around me

You’re singing softly

And I fade from memories

And move on

May nothing harm you

I’m still inside you

With my wings around you

You’ll go on

Sweet lover go on

Oh love be strong